The All-Time Worst Birthday Gifts People Have Ever Received

Birthdays as a celebration and reason for gift giving isn't as universal a custom as some people might think.

In Bhutan's collectivist culture, individual birthdays are not traditionally celebrated and many people don't know their actual birthdate. There are also several religious sects that don't observe birthdays.

So a bad birthday gift is kind of a privilege when some people never receive any.

Unless of course the gift is deliberately cruel in which case skipping it is preferable.

Reddit user andrewsteiner88 asked:

"What was the worst birthday gift you’ve ever received?"

Not Even A Free Lunch

"My boss gave me a pack of expired coupons for fast food joints."

"It was like getting a slap in the face... with a stale burger."

~ Antique_Resolution43

Wut‽‽

"I got a used Victoria's Secret tee-shirt that said SINGLE JINGLES."

~ One_Ad_7151

She Meant Well

"I got a check from my elderly aunt for $5. It bounced and cost me $10 fee from the bank."

"She was a sweet old lady. I was mad at the time, but soon after had to laugh about it."

~ austeninbosten

Happy Birthday to Them

"He got me a juicer that 'had to stay at his house'."

"Oh, so you got yourself a juicer."

"BYE."

~ Putrid-Garden3693

Salt in the Wound

"My boss gifted me a photo frame for my birthday."

"For context—he hired me as part of a program for hiring teens with no family who recently aged out of the foster care system."

"Thanks bud, think I’ll put my non-existent family and non-existent pets in the frame."

~ PryingApothecary

Age Inappropriate

"Cigarettes and deodorant from my grandfather's drunken girlfriend."

"When I opened it, she winked and said she knew I smoked."

"I was EIGHT."

~ Bennington_Booyah

In Hindsight, It Was a Great Gift

"A note saying that she was combining my birthday gift and Father’s Day gift together."

"The combined gift was telling me that she wanted a divorce."

~ Skyrick

Giving a 5-Year-Old a Noise Machine

"Not a gift to me, but I still don’t understand what we did so wrong to the person that gave my 5-year-old daughter a karaoke machine."

~ finzaz

Not the Favorite

"When I was six, my paternal grandparents gave me a... potato. They said 'It looks like a cat or a doggie! You can play with it, and you should be proud—we grew it ourselves!'."

"They also gave me the cheapest set of crayons."

"Their other grandchild received a very cool and rather expensive toy piano a week prior."

"Yeah, my paternal grandmother never liked my mom, and the mother of the other grandchild was her daughter."

~ Teriin

So Generous

"A KitKat bar."

"Would have been okay, but the explanation was they were 3 for $2."

"I only got one."

~ PechugaDude

September Birthdays

"I'm pretty sure there is still a picture of me looking absolutely defeated sitting on a couch surrounded by the school supplies everyone got me."

"To make matters worse, my birthday was usually on the first day of school and I hated it."

"I remember after the party my mom felt so bad that she took me to the store and let me pick out a video game I wanted, so that was nice."

~ FuddleGump

Ignorance or Cruelty?

"Golden Girls wine glasses, when I was a few months out of rehab for alcoholism."

~ Ok-Contest5431

Ugh... Dr Phil‽‽

"I have struggled with my weight since I was a child. When I was 12, I was gifted a book about dieting written by Dr Phil by my great aunt. The discount price sticker sloppily scratched off the top corner."

"I have always been a big reader, and I knew it was a book, so I was excited to see what book she got me. Everyone was watching me when my heart sank, realizing what kind of book it was.

"The plus side is my mom is ride or die for her kids and she was f*cking piiiiiiisssssed, so it was handled."

"Still messes with a kid's head, though."

~ plaid_peonies

A Gift From the Kidneys

"In 2022, I woke up on my birthday and felt a little sore. I drank some water, but the pain just grew and grew until it felt like someone was stabbing me in the guts every few seconds while a second guy kicks me in the balls. Almost as bad, I really had to pee, but couldn't go."

"So I figure, yeah I probably have kidney stones."

"I call up the 24hr nurse line, tell them what's going on, and they say it's probably kidney stones."

"At this point I'm in more pain than I've ever been in. My sides hurt, my d*ck hurts, my spine hurts, and I feel like I've got an ocean in my bladder trying to get out."

"So I'm thinking, 'this is the worst thing I've ever felt, this can't just be normal'. I don't want to go to the hospital, but I just want the pain to stop."

"I hop in my car, and start driving to the hospital I know is in my network. Partway there my vision starts actually going black from the pain, I'm not going unconscious because I'm still acutely aware of the pain the entire time, but my vision starts going black while I'm driving."

"As safely as possible I pull to the side of the road and call an ambulance. Then get out of my car and basically splay out against the hood of my car because I really needed to not be in a seated position right then. Again, literally in so much pain I can't even see at this point, not really thinking 'oh this probably looks weird'."

"Ambulance comes, I tell them where I was going, they say 'we're definitely not going that far' and drive me two blocks to a closer hospital. I'm beyond caring if this is in my insurance coverage at this point."

"It's been several hours of nonstop pain highlighted by what feels like a pulsing stabbing to my groin. They make a point of saying that they aren't going to give me anything for the pain. OK well f*ck you too buddy."

"When we get to the hospital it's the same thing. Answer questions about insurance while I'm on the stretcher. 'We're not going to give you any opioids for the pain'. F*ck it, at this point I'm in so much pain I'm seriously thinking there's something else wrong. So I just tell them 'I don't want any, just tell me what's wrong'."

"Three hours of waiting with an IV in one arm basically stuck doing the peepee dance because of a combination of pain and needing to pee more than ever before in my life, I finally get taken up so that they can image me and find out 'yep, you've got several kidney stones'."

"They give me an IV of something for the pain, and I spend more time in the ER waiting room. So several hours later I've noticed the pain isn't going away and finally managed to get someone who got whoever was taking care of me to find out what's up with the IV."

"Only the IV is in my right arm. The IV stand is being held by my right hand, and I'm in so much pain that clenching and unclenching my hand has actually popped my IV out of my arm without me noticing. So I basically got nothing for the pain the entire time."

"A nurse comes in, replaces my IV line, and now even though I can't pee, I'm feeling good enough that they discharge me, and I walk two blocks back to my car now worried about how much all this will cost me."

"A lot as it turned out, as in several hundred thousand dollars, but surprisingly the VA covered all of it. Thanks socialized healthcare!"

"A while later I talked to a few people in my family who are in medical professions, and apparently my acting weird on account of being in so much pain probably made them think I was an addict looking for drugs."

"So I spent about 8 hours of my birthday in so much pain I was losing the ability to see because a bunch of people mistook my pain for drug addiction."

~ Nixeris

All's Well That Ends Well

"I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma on my 21st birthday—thanks universe, you suck!"

"I’m great now, but that was definitely the worst b-day gift!"

~ justyules

So what was your worst birthday gift?