Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Woman Asks For Advice After Fiancé Insists His Father Checks Her Hymen Before Their Wedding

Woman Asks For Advice After Fiancé Insists His Father Checks Her Hymen Before Their Wedding
Prakasit Khuansuwan/EyeEm/Getty Images

At a certain point in your relationship, you shouldn't have any big surprises.

By the time you're discussing marriage, you should probably know your future spouse's finances, important parts of their medical history and, most importantly, necessary information about their family.


Over on the subReddit for relationship advice, called r/relationship_advice, u/FarReference3 asked about what she should do. Her husband to be has a very specific request before they get married that's a little... um...

Okay, let's be real here; you saw the headline.

Apparently in his family it's customary for the patriarch to check the hymen of future brides. And he expects FarReference3 to have hers checked as well.

And if you think it can't get worse than that, I assure you it can.

" He wants me, the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing so his dad can check me while him, his brothers and uncle can watch so that they know I am still 'pure'."

This isn't just a red flag, this is all the red flags.

"Call off the wedding because that is a horrendous thing to ask." - Orange_Paisley


"If he lets his family do this to you, he does NOT respect you in the slightest. Run away." - phiexox
"This "tradition" is disgusting.
He's essentially asking you to expose yourself to every male in his family. It's nuts. Not to mention reeks of control and abuse." - immortan_jared

There are many layers to this, not the least of which is the sexual assault this ceremony would be. There's an incredibly sexist mentality to women having to prove their purity.

But let's focus on just one aspect of why this is wrong.

Hymens do not work that way.

While it is possible for it to rip during intercourse, it can also rip from normal physical activities that have nothing to do with it. It's possible to have intercourse and leave your hymen intact.

If it does rip, it's also possible for it to heal. And some women are just straight up born without one.

Can we please kill the myth of the hymen?

"You may not have an intact hymen. Most females don't. This proves NOTHING!!!! Plus it's disgusting to even think about your soon to be in laws looking at your tw*t." - bbeneke


"Some women are born without a hymen at all. What an outdated and inaccurate tradition." - cuntry-girl

This whole situation sounds like a nightmare. You have to wonder why she needed to ask the internet about this at all.

I mean, it's obvious she needs to end this, right?

Well, she came back with an update:

After a night of everyone on the internet giving the exact same advice, it appears FarReference3 followed that advice. And while it led to a somewhat violent confrontation:

"I went and talked to him this morning I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen and accused me about lying about my virginity.
"I was trying to be calm and rational but he was not having it and just became more and more angry. I told him if he really loved me he would stand by me on this and tell his father no to which he slapped me and said he didnt need to prove anything."

It ended with the result the Internet was hoping for.

"so I ended it and left him. I am currently back at my friends house being miserable and eating pizza which is pretty fun."


"He accused you of lying about your virginity, yikes.
You dodged a bullet here. We ALL promise you." - AmethystPeachy


"I'm so glad you decided to end it. Regardless of your cultural background, such a thing is not okay. Your ex fiance is abusive himself by slapping you. At least you found this out before you got married.
Please, please, please do not go back to him. Surround yourself with your family and friends and block him everywhere. You deserve so much better!" - Owezara


Knowing when and how to say no can be difficult. The book Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life is available here.

********

Listen to George Takei's new podcast, 'Oh Myyy Pod!', where we explore the racially charged videos that have taken the internet by storm.

Be sure to subscribe here and never miss an episode.

More from Trending

Barbie dolls on display
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Conservatives Predictably Outraged After Mattel Introduces New Barbie With Type 1 Diabetes

Conservatives lashed out at toymaker Mattel after the company introduced a new Barbie doll with Type 1 diabetes, including an insulin pump and blood sugar tracker—an action they say is "woke" while not understanding the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes.

Mattel revealed a new partnership with Breakthrough T1D— formerly known as the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation—to launch a Barbie doll that authentically represents people living with Type 1 diabetes. The collaboration, Mattel said, ensures the doll “truly captures the community,” including accessories that “accurately reflect the medical equipment” commonly used by individuals with the condition.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump; Superman (2025) poster
Joe Raedle/Getty Images; Warner Bros. Pictures

White House Blasted After Portraying Trump As Superman In Bonkers Poster Mock-up

The White House was mercilessly mocked online after it posted a revised poster for the latest Superman film that features President Donald Trump as the Man of Steel.

The latest big screen adaptation of the famed superhero comic, Superman, was directed by James Gunn and stars David Corenswet as the titular superhero, Rachel Brosnahan as Lois Lane, and Nicholas Hoult as Lex Luthor. The film has received positive reviews and has already made an estimated $2.8 million from Tuesday previews for a total $21 million, including Thursday previews.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Charlie Kirk
Real America's Voice

MAGA Influencer Charlie Kirk Called Out After Blaming DEI For High Death Toll In Texas Flooding Disaster

Turning Point USA founder and MAGA influencer Charlie Kirk was harshly criticized after he claimed the death toll in the flash floods that have devastated central Texas "would not have been as high if it wasn't for DEI," ridiculously suggesting that principles of diversity, equity, and inclusion were responsible.

Kirk's comments are reflective of President Donald Trump’s broader push to dismantle federal programs focused on diversity and inclusion—part of what he pledged in his inaugural address would be a campaign to stop attempts to “socially engineer race and gender into every aspect of public and private life.”

Keep ReadingShow less

People Reveal The Dark Secrets They Discovered About Someone After They Died

Sometimes you never know who someone is until they're gone.

Everyone has their secrets.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Jesse Watters; Hakeem Jeffries
Fox News; Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Jesse Watters Pathetically Tries To Burn Hakeem Jeffries With Bizarre 'Rule For Men' Rant

Fox News personality Jesse Watters was widely mocked after he criticized House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries for having recently shared a photo of himself on Instagram that appeared to be digitally altered—with the bench he was leaning against noticeably warped around his hips.

You can see Jeffries' photo below.

Keep ReadingShow less