We all know that one person.
You know, whenever someone suggest to watch a movie together, you groan silently and roll your eyes. Once the film begins, the torture starts. "This wouldn't happen that way in real life," or, "That's not how that works!" or "He's not that tall." A self-proclaimed "movie buff" who just has to share everything wrong with the film. No matter that movies are all about bringing the unrealistic to reality, they need to speak up.
Reddit user, u/Lettuce-b-lovely, hopefully wanted to get all the facts out of the way when they asked:
What things are misrepresented or overemphasized in movies because if they were depicted realistically they just wouldn't work on film?
Who's Your Source? Me.
Giphy
Comas. Source: when I was a teenager I was in a coma for several days...
1) the way the tubes (ventilator, feeding tube, etc) are taped to your face/body is not the same way Hollywood does it
2) a patient in a coma is not (necessarily) totally motionless. Just because they are moving doesn't mean they are awake.
3) waking up. I did NOT yawn, stretch, and remark on how well-rested I felt. From what I've been told, the first sign of me being awake had something to do with the heart monitor.
4) it took MONTHS of rehab for me to resume anything resembling a normal life, and I was only out for ~11 days. There's a loose correlation between the length of coma and length of rehab (more time in a coma=more time in rehab). And by "normal life" I mean "able to leave the house without a walker or cane", NOT "able to outthink and outmuscle a bunch of bad guys".
How Many Abs Should A Freshman Have?
High school students who look like f-ing super models in their mid 20s.
Horrifyingly Curious To Know How This Is True
Giphy
Land mines.
They don't click and then only explode after taking the pressure off the plate.
They just explode, no warning at all.
If Only There Were Real-Life Columnists That Could Clarify This...
Salaries are always way higher than reality.
Carrie Bradshaw is the best example. She writes a tiny column once a week and can afford 1500 shoes and a decent apartment in NYC.
In reality, she would be living with her parents in New Jersey.
So. Much. Paperwork.
The amount of paperwork and investigations after a car chase or police shooting. Bad Boys/Lethal Weapon would have been the first scene and then months of admin work/investigations. You don't kill 7 people in a gunfight and go back to work as normals the next hour.
When Has Anyone Done This Ever?
Giphy
When somebody is watching video footage and they're at the wrong part, they press fast forward for 3 seconds (whirrirh) and press play at exactly the right part.
How'd This Happen Again?
How amnesia works. It's not like you always get bonked on the head and forget everything about your life up until that moment.
It Never Takes 5 Minutes...
Protagonist: "How long will it take to get this lab result?"
Technician:"10 hours"
Protagonist:"You have 5 minutes"
Technician:"Fine with me"
Does Hollywood Know Anything About Lawyers?
Giphy
Lawyers. Most of the job is research and they're not always in court doing cross examination with controversial questions and soap box closing arguments.
Same with TV lawyer shows. No lawyer can actually be like Alan Shore
Criminal court trials can be very, very dull. Even the murders. Everyone knows everything before hand. I've been doing this 20 years and never has a defendant been broken down by the prosecutor and made a dramatic confession on the stand. Only once has a cop come through with a missing piece of evidence that exonerated the defendant on the morning of trial (it was security camera footage misplaced in evidence).
There's a lot of paperwork and report reading and less going out on to the gritty streets to interview witnesses.
I've never been shot at. Never been intimidated by the mob or threatened by a Mexican drug cartel. No high speed chases.
Lab results take weeks and I've never "gone down to the lab." The lab is in a different county and I only ever talk to those guys on the phone or by email.
Oh No! We're...Landing Safely?
Helicopter crashes.
In movies/video games you spin out of control.
IRL if the tail rotor stops working or the engine fails or something then you can use autorotation to land safely. This is something that pilots are required to learn and demonstrate.
H/T: Reddit
aDOORable
Shoot a car with a pistol and it fucking EXPLODES, man.
Or the opposite - open the car door and suddenly it becomes a bullet proof shield.
Or flip a desk/wooden table or couch, become immortal.
Swashbuckling
The Princess Bride GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
Giphy
Sword Fights
they always aim for the blades and not the other person, sure hitting the blade to knock it away and follow up with a strike to the body is effective and you do see it in fencing, but they don't do that, they always only try to disarm the opponent and luckily the opponent also does that otherwise they'd probably be screwed
This is call Flynning (warning: TVTropes) and is named after Errol Flynn.
Flynning exists, in live-action at least, so that non-expert actors can put on an entertaining show without causing Real Life injuries. The first problem is that most actors aren't trained to fence, and most fencers aren't trained to act. Neither skill is something you can teach someone properly in a short amount of time, and audiences are more likely to recognize (and be bothered by) wooden acting than unconvincing swordplay...
A lot of Flynning entries will be written by people who know and care a lot more about swordsmanship than the average person, and therefore can tend toward being critical and nitpicky. Tropes Are Tools, however, and Flynning is not necessarily a "bad" trope: it's just that it comes out of a real-life safety concern that makes it difficult to show the full range of historical combat techniques, and it's often used as a crutch to cover up for a lack of time, money, or expertise... At their best, Flynning and stage combat can be like real swordsmanship filtered through Rule of Cool.
Black Hats
Computer hacking, it's actually a rather boring convoluted Process and not just a 5 seconds and in kinda thing. Video games also make hacking out to be way cooler than it is
Furious typing, eyes darting between three different screens
I'M IN.
Baby Booming
Going into labor/giving birth. Rarely as dramatic as the movies.
And they always just pretty much skip to the birth after that first contraction because no time for an 8 hour labor process in a movie
And the newborn is played by a 3 month old actor
Venting About This
Giphy
Air vents that always lead the main character to the point of interest. Not to mention they will not hold up a full grown adult much less fit one, unless it was a beefy industrial system.
How quickly people get knocked out or how long they stay knocked out for. Some people are more prone to getting knocked out in less hits but watch boxing or UFC, they take hits all day long and in some fights nobody gets knocked out just beaten up. Our hero vs a huge thug, huge thug gets knocked the fuck out everytime.
A server instantly shows up when the main character takes a seat in a restaurant.
