In these desperate times, we need all hands on deck.
That means medical supplies and food most especially, of course.
But also important: ways to care for and nourish our hearts and minds.
What happens when we run out of The Golden Girls episodes on Hulu and there's no more Baby Yoda (ugh FINE "The Child," whatever) on Disney+? Are we supposed to just devolve into anarchy‽‽
Which is why our valiant fellow citizens on Twitter are mounting an entire movement.
Its name? #ReleaseTheButtholeCut.
What in God's name is #ReleaseTheButtholeCut? It has no manifesto, no official leadership, but it's real, and it's deep.
#ReleaseTheButtholeCut refers to the smash-flop film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Weber's musical CATS that broke everyone's brains over the holidays. Specifically, a version of the film that includes that most cherished of cat details: their ever-displayed buttholes.
Yes, you read that right: Supposedly there exists a version where Idris, and Taylor and even Dame Judi all have visible, feline anuses.
It all began when writer/director Ben Mekler tweeted about his deep desire for a tell-all about the making of CATS.
I desperately need a tell-all book about the making of CATS. It could really help me get through this— ben mekler (@ben mekler)1584506042.0
Which is very relatable.
Most of us who saw the movie still don't understand what we saw, and it has been months. And there's a pandemic going on, and we're STILL trying to figure it out.
Be that as it may, it's safe to say that virtually nobody was prepared for one particular response Wekler received, from writer Jack Waz.
@benmekler A VFX producer friend of a friend was hired in November to finish some of the 400 effects shots in… https://t.co/1ek9wX3w3m— Jack Waz (@Jack Waz)1584506211.0
Waz continued with a sentiment that was instantly relatable.
@benmekler @catsmovie Finding this cut is my white whale #ReleaseTheButtholeCut— Jack Waz (@Jack Waz)1584506678.0
And before you knew it, everyone in Hollywood was joining the effort, from Seth Rogen...
Release the Butthole Cut of Cats!! https://t.co/C2VgPqSv1L— Seth Rogen (@Seth Rogen)1584506914.0
...to Knives Out writer/director Rian Johnson.
#ReleaseTheButtholeCut is exactly what we all need right now https://t.co/BhaROTRqLM— Rian Johnson (@Rian Johnson)1584516093.0
And soon, even entertainment media outlets were in on the effort.
For better or worse, humanity deserves The Butthole Cut of Tom Hooper's ‘Cats.’ Here is our official endorsement fo… https://t.co/cWH47GAtcf— One Perfect Shot (@One Perfect Shot)1584555122.0
But then came a twist.
URGENT #ReleaseTheButtholeCut update/clarification, emailed to me by a CATS VFX crewmember who has asked to remain… https://t.co/WXikV6YB9c— ben mekler (@ben mekler)1584556480.0
Turns out there were never any actual buttholes, just arrangements of "digital fur technology" that occasionally looked like buttholes (among other things).
But the #ReleaseTheButtholeCut revolution was undeterred.
@benmekler Thank you for your honesty. #ReleaseTheButtholeCut— Hank Green (@Hank Green)1584557408.0
The hashtag still stands, Ben. #ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/etdrMfnklK— Lindsay Ellis (@Lindsay Ellis)1584557052.0
And suddenly, it all began to look like a cover-up...
@benmekler I smell a #ButtholeGate coverup. #ReleasetheButtholeCut— Chris Hicks (@Chris Hicks)1584556710.0
WHAT ARE THEY HIDING FROM US (besides buttholes I mean) #ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/6xNmIMWtzC— John Scalzi (@John Scalzi)1584557127.0
Someone needs to bust this story wide open.
This is not a time for graft and lies, Hollywood!
Anyway, as you might guess, the hashtag really captured the attention of the Twitterverse.
*sees #releasethebuttholecut trending, right before switching tabs* *switches back* https://t.co/g2MHlHiRH0— Aly (pls wash your hands!) (@Aly (pls wash your hands!))1584512408.0
Only when we collectively gaze upon true horror can we overcome the mundane horrors of everyday life.… https://t.co/53hHOzqzgO— Civvie11 (@Civvie11)1584539096.0
Just imagine, you worked your ass off to get through college to become a CGI artist. Eventually, you land a job in… https://t.co/b9X94PHact— Michael Tushaus (@Michael Tushaus)1584520179.0
Our society is collapsing our world is teetering on the edge of utter chaos please please we need this… https://t.co/i4jutKzmLK— Elle Maruska (they/them) (@Elle Maruska (they/them))1584531638.0
Fear God and #ReleaseTheButtholeCut is where we're at with Twitter today. Can someone just wake me up when 4/20 for… https://t.co/2Rg2eEsfM2— Wandering Zombie (@Wandering Zombie)1584542157.0
I'm not sure I've ever outright pleaded for anything. But please. Just please keep this trending: #ReleaseTheButtholeCut— Film Crit Hulk (@Film Crit Hulk)1584515868.0
@scottEweinberg *emerging from isolation to watch a rowdy screening of the Butthole Cut of CATS in 6 months*… https://t.co/H7uHjUENMp— Justin Yandell (@Justin Yandell)1584511764.0
Reminder that The Secret Life of Pets had the guts to put a butthole on the cat... #ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/kHCE67zfMa— Alex Leadbeater (@Alex Leadbeater)1584546751.0
Some even saw The Butthole Cut as a path forward after this apocalypse.
@ Universal Pictures if you #ReleaseTheButtholeCut then people are gonna stay at home to watch it instead of going… https://t.co/Z0472skEYE— Brian is staying at home (@Brian is staying at home)1584512166.0
Movie theaters face an impossible challenge. Some say they won’t survive. We need a flag to rally around; somethin… https://t.co/nRnQT5SHv8— Russ Fischer (@Russ Fischer)1584514528.0
Who knew it would be cat anuses that would bring us together in these desperate times? It just goes to show there's more that unites us than divides us.
Cats is available here for pre-order. The original Broadway musical version is available here.