"Dated a Swede..."

Dated a Swede for a few years. When he taught me how to say "I Love You in Swedish," "Jag Älskar Dig," I remembered how to pronounce it by saying it as Jog Racecar Day. For the rest of our relationship whenever we wanted to say "love you" or would give each other cards etc, we would just say Racecar.

vinoKwine

"It's like kissing the void."

We do 'inverted kissing'. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party's puckered up lips.

It's like kissing the void. It feels really uncomfortable and it's hilarious. She always does it to me when I'm expecting a kiss.

Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going 'noooo'

ask-design-reddit

"We have a 17 year running game..."

We have a 17 year running game of stealthily pinning a clothespin to the other's clothes. Sometimes, no clothespin for months, and then bam. One in your armpit.

octopusboots

"She then hid it somewhere..."

Penis drawings. I don't remember who started it but we hide the same penis drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks. When I returned I hid one in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven't found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I'll find it eventually but I'm afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.

Danz322

"We often..."

We often just stand in each other's way for no reason other than to be annoying.

clemboy500

"I also make weird faces..."

We sometimes will randomly talk to each other in different accents. Mostly scottish. We are canadian.

I also make weird faces at him and he laughs. It feels good to be silly and weird around him and him not making me feel stupid about it.

loki13stars

"It devolved..."

We invented rock, paper, scissors with kissing!

Mouth closed= Rock

Mouth open= Paper

Tongue sticking out= Scissors

It devolved in to doing it randomly so that we could catch each other by surprise and win!

Toasterinthetub22

"We have a mating dance..."

We have a mating dance that has gotten increasingly elaborate in the decade we have been together. Example moves: slapping one's own butt, moving one's arms like a choo choo train, one handed clapping.

Some of the moves go out of fashion year to year, but we have a significant repertoire.

jpwp99

"Well, I just wrapped her up..."

Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her "Shhhhh be bread, it's okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it's okay to become bread" while she cackled and screamed "I DON'T WANT TO BE BREAD."

"We sneak up on each other..."

We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert "dominance." We use the "dominance" to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.

FunkySauron