Alright, everyone, how are we doing so far in this quarantine? Hanging in there? Ready to pull your hair out? Spending hours making a mental list of all of the things you'd sacrifice just to go sit in an Applebee's for 15 minutes and eat a quesadilla with a bunch of very annoying strangers just to feel normal again?
Pretty sure everyone's answer is, "Yeah same" at this point--even Hollywood stars, it turns out. We speak specifically of comedic actor Seth Rogen, who recently discovered a fun new activity for those of us looking for things to occupy our rapidly decaying minds.
All you need is a juvenile appreciation for the classics of comedy and an Amazon Alexa, which, as Rogen discovered, will make an endless and multi-faceted array of fart noises on command. Who knew!
Rogen has been a veritable fount of quarantine activities, from watching CATS high, to taking up pottery to making new vessels for his houseplants. He must've gotten bored with all that though. Because, as he said on Twitter recently, he plans to spend the "next few weeks" exploring Alexa's flatulence stylings.
Rogen shared a hilarious video of Alexa's gaseous prowess, and safe to say it--ahem--blew everyone away.
I don’t necessarily trust my Alexa to not eavesdrop on me and sell my secrets to advertisers, but I think I just fo… https://t.co/wQvYsz5g8t— Seth Rogen (@Seth Rogen)1585279230.0
The video starts out simply enough, with Rogen instructing "Alexa: fart." But then things progress rather quickly into...well, an entire repertoire this writer frankly didn't realize existed. Here is just a sampling of fart genres that Alexa has mastered:
- "Tiny one"
- "Silent one"
- "Pooey one"
- "Cheek-wobbling one"
- "Difficult fart"
The latter comes with a realistic grunt and groan, the verisimilitude of which is frankly horrific--even more so than the mere existence of a "pooey one." Will the wonders of technology never cease?!
But perhaps even more hilarious (or unsettling, depending on your sensibilities) is the refartee--er, sorry, repartee--Alexa provides in between farts. Some choice selections:
"I have another one brewing. Do you want to hear it?"
And then there was this helpful suggestion.
"Try asking me for a difficult fart."
But the most interesting trick Alexa apparently had up her sleeve was...well, we'll just let her tell it:
"Try a 60-seconds fart countdown."
Sadly, somehow Rogen resisted asking for this option, which is frankly devastating. But given all the joy he's brought to the internet with his discovery, it's hard not to forgive him!
@Sethrogen Did it say "cheek wobbling one"????? 😂 wtf— Lisa Rolston💀 (@Lisa Rolston💀)1585279351.0
@Wilde4Poe @Sethrogen Alexa nasty 😂😂😂😭— Liz Jenkins (@Liz Jenkins)1585287073.0
@Sethrogen Two words - Farty Party. Our toddlers live for it.— chris o'dowd (@chris o'dowd)1585282252.0
@Sethrogen We all needed this right now. Thank you.— Ryan Satin (@Ryan Satin)1585280804.0
@Sethrogen @JennaJ It is really amazing that this exists.. Alexa has so much potential and this is what we use it for.— Danny Bowen (@Danny Bowen)1585279694.0
@Sethrogen Difficult Fart is what I’m naming my podcast.— Tony (@Tony)1585279876.0
@Sethrogen @ManMadeMoon https://t.co/utekG77HWo— Troy Baker (@Troy Baker)1585501039.0
I just stopped everything and woke up the 13yr old to show him this! Thank You @Sethrogen https://t.co/HAVfjDYgD7— Erik Thompson (@Erik Thompson)1585324615.0
Best of all, a few lucky--or deeply unfortunate, again depending on your sensibilities--people discovered that watching Rogen's videos will actually activate your Alexa's farting sequence.
@Sethrogen Brooo I watched this video within earshot of my Alexa and she’s now asking me if I want to hear a quick… https://t.co/Vxz2esD2Ud— Erin (@Erin)1585279692.0
@Sethrogen OMG, Seth, it just started when I was scrolling thru my Twitter feed and now it won’t start. I finally h… https://t.co/HTtuYKEADg— Cathleen 'Stationary Pilgrim' Falsani (@Cathleen 'Stationary Pilgrim' Falsani)1585284839.0
Though be advised--as some of Rogen's followers learned the hard way, if you've got a Google Home or Siri, you are sadly out of luck.
@Sethrogen Siri is too classy for this unfortunately. https://t.co/DtEllzzvSc— The Fearless Blogger (@The Fearless Blogger)1585280684.0
@Sethrogen Alexa wins this round. https://t.co/lFOhWJgDJl— Dani Messerschmidt (@Dani Messerschmidt)1585280602.0
Surely this is at least somewhat key to the Alexa's dominance of the home AI market.
Anyway, there you have it: your newest quarantine pastime. It's an absolute gas! (So, so sorry, really...)