People Explain Which Things They'll Never Tell Their Significant Other About

Love/Hate Relationship

"She loves her siblings and hates her parents."

"I hate her siblings and love her parents."

"They were very tight with their parents for the first 3 years of our relationship, and in 2017-2018 all hell broke loose so to say. My partner has no personal animus towards her parents, she is however extremely close to her older sibling who has a heap of problems with their parents."

"My partner follows their lead and it guides her own relationship with their parents. And the reason her siblings have huge problems with their parents is that they retired, moved 20(!) whole minutes away from their childhood home and went on a vacation for a month."

"They are apparently 'selfish', 'inconsiderate', and 'don’t think of themselves as parents'. This despite the fact that they call and visit for every holiday, birthday, promotion, celebration of any kind. Dog and babysit. Frequently host. Communicate well."

"No the absolute truth is that my partner's siblings are black holes and not great."

"Would 'I radically dislike your one sibling and don’t trust the other at all' be a viable middle ground?"

~ Agreed_fact

Sweet Tooth

"A few years ago, my girlfriend put a candy bowl in our hallway at our apartment for Halloween. She came home that day to discover that nobody took any candy, and she was a little bummed."

"Over the course of that week, I'd take candy out before work or when she was asleep."

"She got so happy that 'the neighbors loved the candy'. She does this every year now, and I have to continuously swipe the candy and pretend it is the neighbors."

"It makes her happy, and I get free candy. Win win."

~ AlecsWebHair

In It For the House

"That I know she cheated on me and the only reason I haven't left her is because the mortgage interest rates are a bit high so I can't comfortably buy her half of the equity we have in the house."

"I got a valuation, a mortgage pre-approval, and a lawyer all ready to go... But would only have about $21 per week to spare... I'd be screwed the first time a major appliance or the car breaks down..."

~ H_He_Metals

Mommy Dearest

"That her mother is a bad person in disguise of a caring and beloved figure."

~ Relative_Rich8169

"My pet name for my girlfriend is Bambi."

"She thinks it's because has big brown eyes, but really it's because I want to shoot her mother with a rifle."

~ airblizzard

"That's my mother in law. For her daughter, she'll do anything... to the point that it's overbearing and controlling and difficult to deal with."

"And for everyone else, she is one of the least empathetic people I've ever met..."

"She CRIED when Rush Limbaugh died, and she literally said the Proud Boys are like the Boy Scouts. But she'll drop $2,000 on Christmas presents for one person like it's nothing, so she thinks she's owed respect and kind words."

"I literally had to tell her at one point, 'If you want me to stop calling you a Nazi, buying me more presents or arguing with me isn't going to do it, you have to stop saying Nazi-friendly sh*t'. But she didn't stop, of course."

"She thought COVID was no big deal until a family member died of it."

"She also makes tons of snide comments about my work. I'm a lawyer in Big Law, I make great money but it's soul sucking and I never wanted to do this forever, I want to work for the government."

"She'll see a postal worker and say 'That'll be you one day, government worker, not a great way to provide for my daughter'."

"Her daughter, my wife, is a DOCTOR who is going to make more than I do no matter what job I work, and she herself is a dentist who worked until her banker husband could retire at the same time as her."

"She talks sh*t about how I made her daughter an atheist (I didn't, she did that on her own), but she herself has NEVER read the Bible and hasn't been to church in 20 years."

"She unironically believes in aliens, Big Foot, and ghosts, and thinks she saw Mother Mary in the sky."

"All the bad things I tend to think about Republicans (they don't care about an issue until it personally affects them, they have no standards except double standards, they use religion as a cudgel but don't actively live a spiritual life, they believe insane sh*t with zero evidence, they're old fashioned and judgy and can't accept that the world is changing around them, etc...) is her to the letter."

~ 2Charming-Fig-2544

Magic the Retirement Fund

"How much my Magic the Gathering collection is worth."

"They'll absolutely try to get me to sell some of it."

"It's my precious."

~ Ganthamus_prime

First Impressions

"When he and I first met, I was CERTAIN he was gay."

"He is very much NOT gay."

"And he will NEVER know I ever thought this."

~ ShinyIrishNarwhal

No Llama Drama

"When me and my wife first started dating, I had a dumb canvas painting with a llama and rabbit on it that I found at Walmart. I showed it to her and told her how much I loved it just because it was just such a dumb random thing to find."

"For some reason she took that as I love llamas and that they are my favorite animal. So now, every time she sees one or something with a llama on it I see her brighten up to show me and I get excited with her!"

"Llamas are not my favorite animal. Never have been. I don’t know how she made this connection, but i will never tell her otherwise because seeing her face light up every time is way better."

~ WhereTheChapstickAt

Relationship by Google

"I spend a couple hours doing research on how to make relationships work and keep her happy in the long run."

"She thinks I'm this awesome perfect guy but I just do what the internet tells me."

~ BadRobot___

Chemical Warfare

"He thinks I don’t fart around him because I’m too shy or polite."

"It’s really because they are so bad they could kill a horse."

~ Neonpantsuit

Are There Raisins?

"I don't like the potato salad she makes, and she always tries to make it as a treat for me."

"It's my mom's recipe, but doesn't taste like mom's."

~ Bean_Juice_Brew

*yawn* 🥱

"The spot you make me sleep in on the bed is uncomfortable but I lay there because you're comfortable where you are."

~ legacyrisky

Confessions

"We’re both in college, and last semester we both had a cold at some point. He had it much, much worse than I did, so I went to class and he skipped."

"Afterwards, I went to his dorm to share notes and take a nap. I was almost asleep, and I’m assuming he thought I was, because I felt him squeeze me and whisper, 'I love you so f**king much'.”

"It was the sweetest thing ever and I’m never telling him I know he did that."

~ scorpiomooon

Maybe a Farm Upstate?

"I definitely didn't kill that massive spider, and I have no idea where it went."

~ Cothak88

So, these weren't too awful, right?

What secrets are you keeping?