At one of the last restaurants i worked there was the Michelle 5 rule. Michelle was a smoker, not just a smoker though. The woman was basically a chimney. The establishment aloud servers to have a brief puff break. But you could hold funerals in Michelle's breaks. And she smelled like a stale tongue. So later, there was a smoke time clock... or, the Michelle clock.

Heads Up

"At work I ran head first into a horizontal beam because it was just above eye level. I knocked myself out cold. Now the entire factory has to wear hard hats."

- Meouppe

Last Marks

"Failed a course in first year university, but qualified for a make up exam. Got an A on the exam, which replaced the whole failing grade on my transcript and gave my GPA a huge boost. I'm pretty sure I'm the reason that the next semester they changed it so that the make up exam would only replace your final exam mark, and your rest of the year performance would still be taken into account in calculating the final grade."

- the5thbeagle

Punctured

"I punctured my index finger with a 2' x 4' piece of glass (we manufactured solar panels) and by the end of the week we were all required to wear heavy aprons, forearm covers, and some heavy duty gloves. Technically we were always supposed to be wearing them, but the enforcement came after my incident."

- BandOfDonkeys

Add a *

"A local pita place had a promo to get $5 off of your order if you purchased a $25 gift card. Pretty good deal so I bought one. The next time I went in they were still running the promo and I got another gift card but this time I paid for it with the previous gift card, a sort of promotional inception if you will. I was able to get away with that for weeks and finally they added an * to the promo poster, stating that you could not pay for a gift card with another gift card."

- Anavalym

Gotta Eat

"Half off employee meals only apply to standard size meals."

- Nihhrt

Rules, rules, rules, can't live with them, can't follow them. But they are inevitable, as humans are treacherous and sneaky, especially when money is involved. And staff needs to be reigned in, they can get wild without some streamlining.

Wildfire

"Told a few colleagues the Scottish MD sounded drunk and looked stoned when his videos were played at x0.75 speed... it spread like wildfire and the next day, the video software had slow play speed disabled due to "inappropriate use of the IT system."

- BandOne77

Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Items Listed

"The girl that does the Staples and Costco runs needs to have an itemized list approved by management before shopping runs. Because one day I wanted an electronic 3 hole punch and a bouncy ball chair. And I freaking got them."

- Physiywalk

"Management always standing in the way of productivity."

- Trickysocials

One Thing

"I'm not sure if this was because of me but, In kindergarten there was a backpack you could bring like a toy for show and tell if you where the star of the week (did other schools do that?) I brought so much STUFF it was crazy how much I could put in it. Next year my younger sister could only bring one thing. I felt like a fool."

- No-Lab1732

Level A

"I failed my first year of University the first time round. It was a Russell Group uni so it was already ridiculously difficult, but the entry requirements were you could get in with just a BTEC, rather than A levels (BTEC being an easier version of A levels / A levels being mandatory in all RG uni's)."

"After I failed, the entry requirements changed and you could only enter with a BTEC if you had at least one A level also. With how much I thought the world was ending when I failed, I think they didn't want to see another student go through that lol."

- craftingfirerunes

No Art

"You're not allowed to draw on the burgers with condiments at Burger King. Apparently it gets points deducted when the secret shopper opens their whopper and sees a smilie face."

- Roogmljvx

Forbidden

"Ejecting anything from a window of a dorm at summer camp was forbidden because I brought my supersoaker to camp and started sniping at unsuspecting campers and counsellors from the 5th floor dorm bathroom. They simply instated the rule and then asked me to not water snipe other kids in the future."

- Reddit

Shattered

"At my elementary school no one is allowed to bring glass containers to lunch anymore. I tried Kobe-ing my little glass jar into the trash, and missed."

- Beneficial_Ring4310

Is that you?

"If you have to fart please step out of the room."

- MajorTester7263

Let's Crash

"I crashed the EPA's servers while querying their API for large amounts of air pollution data. They promptly sent an email to everyone who uses their servers that they are now placing large restrictions on the amount of data you can request at a given request and time."

- Forgot_the_Jacobian

Bad Beep

"No changing the RF scanners beep sound to any inappropriate sound"

"Figured out how to customise RF guns (thanks I.T guy who I will not mention) for picking so I changed mine to a chicken clucking so when you scan fast enough it sounds like a petting zoo. The new policy is balony because I work in a private warehouse alone for 8-12 hours a day picking and packing orders so the only person who would be upset is whoever watches the security cameras (I guess they have sound lol)."

- 0DMATH0

911

"Not a rule, but a university campus installed benches around a spot where I train parkour a lot. Nobody uses them, so it just adds an extra obstacle to conquer. Now they have campus cops dialed as soon as they see me."

- Maquina90

Banished

"I once wrote a script to download small sections of annotated human genome from someone's server. I realized I made a mistake in my code when my script tried to download the entire human exome instead of a set region of a few hundred bases. My company was temporarily IP banned from their service until I wrote them a "I'm sorry please unban me" email."

- ThadisJones

Overtime

"I worked at a crappy company that would come around at the last minute and make people work Saturday and possibly Sunday (like 20 minutes before the end of shift or just posting a sign on the time clock). The rule was that if you had vacation on Friday or Monday you didn't have to work the weekend (any amount of vacation as long as it was at the beginning or end of the day)."

"I put in for vacation for the first two hours of every Monday for the entire summer and didn't have to work a single day of overtime. Then I would show up to work Monday at normal time and cancel the 2hrs of vacation. Others followed and they ended up being short every weekend. The policy changed next year to having to take 8hrs vacation to get out of overtime."

- gimme3strokes

On Camera

"Technically not because of me, but I was around with this one kid during school hours. We have vending machines in our hallways and he thought it was a good idea to shake and punch one until something dropped. Unfortunately, he broke it because afterwards the whole thing stopped functioning. What was worse is that it was all caught on camera and it was shown to the principal. Now there needs to be an adult or supervisor around to use the vending machines. Well played."

- Somebody_Ithink

Campus Coal

"No charcoal grilled food served on a specific college campus - on account of me relocating one of their charcoal grills to a concrete pylon located in the middle of the campus pond. It was like a $30 grill that was left unlocked. They retrieved it unscathed. They had a bunch of them. Nevertheless, they exclusively cater subway instead of grilling food for campus events."

- uptokeforyou

I'd be thrilled to have the Tom rule. It would probably involve not telling raunchy stories, or pleading with people to not dance on random tables in buildings, as staff or a guest. That just makes them look dull and me cool. Tom Rule 101.