Republicans Are Melting Down Over Announcement That Superman Is Coming Out As Bisexual

Another day, another conservative meltdown.

What's got Republicans freaking out this time, you ask? No, not the pandemic, or the economy, or climate change, or any of the myriad real problems facing America.

Rather, Republicans are losing their minds over DC Comics' recent announcement its iconic Superman character, a fictional superhero who does not actually exist, is bisexual.

Like clockwork, conservatives have been out here in full gay panic mode being as homophobic as humanly possible about this whole thing.

Take far-right Republican Arizona State Representative Wendy Rogers, for example, who not only had a full meltdown on Twitter but employed the stereotypical "gay lisp" popular among frat boys in 1992.

Rogers tweeted:

"Superman loves Louis Lane. Period. Hollywood is trying to make Superman gay and he is not. Just rename the new version Thooperman so we can all know the difference and avoid seeing it."

True to Republican form, Rogers clearly didn't read DC Comics' announcement or she'd know the current Superman is the son of Clark Kent and Lois Lane—which she also misspelled as "Louis."

So you heard it here first—Clark Kent was also apparently bisexual. Excellent work as always, Ms. Rogers.

The furor erupted Monday, which was National Coming Out Day, when DC Comics made its announcement current Superman Jon Kent, son of Clark Kent and Lois (NOT Louis) Lane, has fallen in love with a man named Jay Nakamura.

DC told The New York Times ushering in a new Superman felt like an opportunity to make an important update to the iconic superhero.

"The idea of replacing Clark Kent with another straight white savior felt like a missed opportunity. For so many people, having the strongest superhero in comics come out is incredibly powerful."

Just for the record, straight people regularly contract sexually transmitted infections (or "venereal disease" as they were called 50 years ago) too.

In fact, the highest rates of STIs in the United States are in Alaska, Mississippi, Louisiana, South Carolina and New Mexico—not exactly LGBTQ meccas.

DC Comics' new Republican America-destroying Superman comes out November 9.