Another day, another conservative meltdown.
What's got Republicans freaking out this time, you ask? No, not the pandemic, or the economy, or climate change, or any of the myriad real problems facing America.
Rather, Republicans are losing their minds over DC Comics' recent announcement its iconic Superman character, a fictional superhero who does not actually exist, is bisexual.
Like clockwork, conservatives have been out here in full gay panic mode being as homophobic as humanly possible about this whole thing.
Take far-right Republican Arizona State Representative Wendy Rogers, for example, who not only had a full meltdown on Twitter but employed the stereotypical "gay lisp" popular among frat boys in 1992.
Superman loves Louis Lane. Period. Hollywood is trying to make Superman gay and he is not. Just rename the new version Thooperman so we can all know the difference and avoid seeing it.— Wendy Rogers (@Wendy Rogers) 1633985574
Rogers tweeted:
"Superman loves Louis Lane. Period. Hollywood is trying to make Superman gay and he is not. Just rename the new version Thooperman so we can all know the difference and avoid seeing it."
True to Republican form, Rogers clearly didn't read DC Comics' announcement or she'd know the current Superman is the son of Clark Kent and Lois Lane—which she also misspelled as "Louis."
So you heard it here first—Clark Kent was also apparently bisexual. Excellent work as always, Ms. Rogers.
The furor erupted Monday, which was National Coming Out Day, when DC Comics made its announcement current Superman Jon Kent, son of Clark Kent and Lois (NOT Louis) Lane, has fallen in love with a man named Jay Nakamura.
Just like his father before him, Jon Kent has fallen for a reporter Learn more about the story to come in SUPERMAN: SON OF KAL-EL #5: https://bit.ly/3FubuVk\u00a0 #DCPridepic.twitter.com/wfQPc3CEVD— Superman (@Superman) 1633962609
DC told The New York Times ushering in a new Superman felt like an opportunity to make an important update to the iconic superhero.
"The idea of replacing Clark Kent with another straight white savior felt like a missed opportunity. For so many people, having the strongest superhero in comics come out is incredibly powerful."
Fox News crying over Superman, Aquaman, Robin, and Loki.. \u201cWe just wanted them to catch the bad guys, not a Venereal disease\u201dpic.twitter.com/eutbiRm80p— Acyn (@Acyn) 1634006996
Just for the record, straight people regularly contract sexually transmitted infections (or "venereal disease" as they were called 50 years ago) too.
In fact, the highest rates of STIs in the United States are in Alaska, Mississippi, Louisiana, South Carolina and New Mexico—not exactly LGBTQ meccas.
Say no to Woke Thooperman!!!— Wendy Rogers (@Wendy Rogers) 1633997383
You heard her, Superman is in love with a man named Louis.pic.twitter.com/zoghMkC3m9— Dave Weigel (@Dave Weigel) 1633987098
Damn, this is really bigoted. But also, "Louis Lane."pic.twitter.com/LwC6aBKbj0— Nick Martin (@Nick Martin) 1633986615
I don't know who Louis Lane is but he sounds hot.pic.twitter.com/igdRTTJron— Mark Harris (@Mark Harris) 1633988290
don't worry he definitely still loves Lois Lane. Enough that they've been married for a while and it's literally their son who's bi. Reading comprehension is a lovely thing.— Meloni Winter (@Meloni Winter) 1633986540
Wait until Wendy finds out that bisexual Superman's boyfriend Louis pronounces his name "Lew-EE" because, just like Superman, he hates what America has become and wishes he were in France.— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@Mrs. Betty Bowers) 1633996851
He\u2019s gay and soon we will turn EVERYTHING GAY. The gay agenda is alive and well. Soon you will be gay too!pic.twitter.com/XSX98cnQwS— TATIANNA (@TATIANNA) 1634018414
Tell me you literally couldnt even be bothered to read an article about this without telling me you couldnt be bothered to read an article about this.\n\nIdk who Louis Lane is but you'll be glad to know this Superman does love Lois Lane because shes his mother.— Jade \u26b1\ud83d\udc9a (@Jade \u26b1\ud83d\udc9a) 1633987968
"it's Lois and Clark, not Louis and Mark"— Ian Seabiscuit (@Ian Seabiscuit) 1633987178
Still waiting for the answer to my question, WHO IS LOUIS LANE???— TYWIN LANNISTER the Chancellor of the USA. (@TYWIN LANNISTER the Chancellor of the USA.) 1633998129
DC Comics' new Republican America-destroying Superman comes out November 9.
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
@sofiavegara/Instagram
Nervous The Big Bang Theory GIF 
Happy Jim Carrey GIF by Laff 
Happy So Excited GIF 
Breathe Jack Black GIF by Regal