On the popular subreddit "Am I The A**hole?" a user who goes by MaidOfDishonor69 told the story of how his sister supposedly started using her son as a "gay accessory," causing a passionate debate to break out on the site.
The post, titled "AITA for telling my sister to stop using her 3 year old son as a 'gay accessory'" caused many people to accuse the Original Poster of homphobia, but others to agree that the sister was acting somewhat recklessly.
"Let me paint a picture of my little sister , she is almost 30 and is the youngest out of the 3 siblings she has always been addicted with getting attention . She got married about 3 years ago and during that time decided she was a alcoholic , No one in my family really understood this as she never really drank but we were very supportive and she started going to group and still does."
"Some time during group therapy she discovered she was gay, like a switch was flipped and all of a sudden gay culture is her life . she asked for a divorce got new gay friends , shaved one side of her head started wearing flannel shirts the whole shebang . Again everyone was very supportive my mom thinks she is going through a mid life crisis but has kept that idea to herself so all she has seen and heard is absolute support. She started dating one girl (the rebound ) it lasted about 3 weeks now this second girl moved in with her after about a week of dating and seems like a huge leech on her side."
"On a side note she posted picture of her and her girlfriend and her 3 year old son in bed sleeping and she got in fight with people on facebook who said if they were two males who posted that picture it would be creepy witch i kinda of agree with because at this point they had only been dating for about 7 weeks."
OP's real issue, however, has to do with his sister's son.
"So anyway i watch her boy for her every other weekend and he use to come with all these toys but now he only shows up with a little mermaid doll for some reason and she is always posting pictures of him in rainbow clothing and he is wearing skirts and dresses and he was never interested in this stuff before but she posts these pictures of him telling everyone he is obsessed with the little mermaid and dresses and he is so "blended" so i told her "you know its ok to let him be a boy you dont have to treat him like hes a gay accessory"
"She blew up on me saying it was his choice to dress like that and play with the toys he brings over ( i highly doubt that ) most of my family is on her side but my father and mother were happy someone said something . Am i the a**hole here ? i really was just thinking of the child and how his life shouldnt change at all just because her sexuality changed."
Many felt they had to tell MaidOfDishonor69 that he was, in fact, the a**hole. hapa-boi wrote:
"YTA this has "i'm afraid of the nonexistent gay agenda" written all over it
To everyone saying boys shouldn't wear skirts, i wear skirts and nobody gives a shit so stop saying society's values are the same as your own"
this_is_an_alaia agreed.
"YTA while everyone else is embracing let children be themselves, wear what they want to wear, let boys play with barbies, OP is going around yelling about mermaids and f***ing rainbows."
horsecalledwar563 actually stood up for OP though.
"People are only defending the sister because she's gay. If she was straight & had a guy move in after a week of dating & had her kid sleeping in the same bed, people would (rightly) crucify her as a horrible excuse for a mom."
"Normal people with kids in the house don't usually have partners sleep over that early in a relationship let alone move in. Many wouldn't even introduce a new fling to the kids until 6 months or longer. And the fact that the kid suddenly wants to wear dresses & only play with a doll is highly suspect because that's unlikely to come from a 3 yo boy anyway so it seems likely the mother is forcing it into the kid. OP seems to be spot on when he said she uses the kid as a prop & nobody here would be defending her if she was straight."
Many reddit users, including FooPvris, thought the post was vaguely homophobic.
"YTA I feel so bad for your sister it sounds like her whole family pretends to support her and then gossips and insults her behind her back and you really sound homophobic."
"You have no proof she's forcing him to wear dresses your just making assumptions, stop being a judgemental asshole and learn to stop being homophobic"
Virulencer thought OP was presenting the facts with a biased slant.
"YTA. If he really does want to wear dresses then who are you to tell him he cannot? Does it seem like he really does not want to wear them? Does it seem like he really isn't interested in the little mermaid?"
"This whole post is trying to paint your sister as a fraud and only looking for attention. You never mention how this might be affecting your nephew. You seem more interested in knocking her down a peg than you are in him and for that you are the asshole."
JessHas4Dogs singled out one thibg as the most troubling indicator of the sister's bad behavior.
"The thing your sister has done that's really the problem is letting her kid sleep in the bed with someone she doesn't really know yet."
Virulencer thought another thing trumps all of OP's concerns, however.
"YTA. If he really does want to wear dresses then who are you to tell him he cannot? Does it seem like he really does not want to wear them? Does it seem like he really isn't interested in the little mermaid?"
"This whole post is trying to paint your sister as a fraud and only looking for attention. You never mention how this might be affecting your nephew. You seem more interested in knocking her down a peg than you are in him and for that you are the asshole."
flordemaga echoed the same sentiment.
"YTA. You're painting your sister as a faker or a fraud, you seem afraid of the 'gay agenda.'"
"What seems more likely is that she's more free now and at the same time allowing her kid more freedom than she might have before she realized she was gay."
"It's not really your business. If the kid is happy, then he's happy. Also, it's not creepy to post a picture of a 3 year old sleeping in the same bed as their parent and their significant other regardless of gender. A 3 year old is a toddler, a little kid, and there's nothing inherently wrong about them sleeping with their parent. If the SO happens to be there too and the kid feels okay sharing with them too, then that's fine."
AtLeastImGenreSavvy had problems both with homophobic and anti-alcoholic sentiments.
"YTA. You're coming across as extremely homophobic here. The kid is three. His interests change all the time because, well, he's three. Unless your sister is actively harming him, leave them alone. You are not the parent, and you have no say in how this child is being raised. Also, that comment about how your sister "decided" to become an alcoholic?"
"Just because you never personally witnessed her getting blackout drunk doesn't mean she didn't have a problem. It sounds like you just want to accuse her of "faking" everything."
Without personally being there to know the sister and her partner, this seems to be an issue without a clear answer. Context is everything!
The most important part of a family however is love. This shirt is available here.
*****
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