Hold Please

Receptionist here.

I previously answered calls with, "Company Name, how may I help you?" and 50% of the time (or so it felt like) the response I'd get was, "Well, I don't know how YOU can help me".

I switched it up to "how may I assist/direct you" but I still get the ol' "Well, I don't know..."

It's not cute. Just tell me why the eff you're calling so we can both move on with our days!

-wookie_cookie

I'm obligated to ask those visiting my work place if they have any weapons to declare.

"Just these guns!" flex

-TokenFroKid

Stocking Up

Stocked shelves at a grocery store for a few months in college and some guy was angry because he had been in line for a few minutes and no one was there to ring him up.

He found me and asked what was going on and I kindly told him I'd go grab a cashier to check him out and he goes, "No it's fine, I can just leave with my stuff.

I mean, I don't have to pay if no ones gonna wait on me," or something like that. I laughed sarcastically with a deadpan face and told a cashier there were customers waiting.

They didn't pay me enough to stop him if he tried.

-persona_non_gratae

Office Space

I work in an office, and the boss often leaves me in charge if he's away. I have one co-worker who, every time I'm covering, will arrive in the morning and say "Hi boss! Since you're in charge— can we all go home now? Hurr hurr"

That, and "are you working hard? Or hardly working?"

-baabaaredsheep

Ableism

I work in the Deaf community and people always see the name of the charity I work for and say "Pardon?" then laugh like they're the funniest person in the world.

Little bit of my soul dies every frickin' time

-The-Shaffy

Buttons

At Starbucks, we have categories and buttons for all the drinks.

When we get a new drink, there is a new button but no one tells us where the button is. It is either in with normal lattes or frappuccinos or it's under the seasonal category on the opposite side of the screen.

So when a customer orders a new or special drink, we go on a wild goose chase for the button that seems to not exist. The customers will say "Oh you can't find it? How about you make it and just let me take it."

My boss just tells us to ring them up for a basic drink and make the special one until the button is added.

The button is never added

-PortalOutVoyd

IT

I work in IT. Any time something breaks on the computer it's

"Hehe, oh no, guess I have to go home!"

Every. Single. Time.

-Sunnyhunnibun

I'm in the IT field. The number of times I've been told that I don't know what I'm doing because the customer/family member/coworker "knows" more than I do because I didn't fix the issue in a) 30 seconds or less, b) need to research a bit for the specifics, or c) start digging into the root cause of the issue completely outside of their application/browser/window...

Standard answer now: I'm sorry that I could not help you. Take care and good luck, bye.

In my head: Why the f'k did you ask me for help if you already know the solution?

- numindast

Down Time

"Are you analyzing me now" - Psychologist.

The true answer is almost always, I am too apathetic about you to care that much. At least when it isn't a patient.

-dingkeberry85

Just Sign

I used to make deliveries for a medical supply company. The deliveries were to doctor's offices, veterinarians, clinics, small hospitals, etc. I would get this, at least once a day, when I needed a signature for delivery: "You want me to sign my life away?" I hated that. Not even remotely funny, but they said it like it was supposed to be.

Additionally, there was one lady, in one office (that got deliveries every day, it seemed) who would say to me "You come bearing gifts!" I also hated going there for that reason.

-MrClever23

Ring, Ring

I work in a call center.

I have to ask "was there anything else I could help you with" at the end of the call.

-"Yes bring me a coffee with that"

-"make the sun shine again"

-"got the winning lottery numbers?"

-"yeah. What's your number you have a sexy voice"

I just ignore them now and wish them a good day.

-orangepun-king

Dad Jokes

When I worked at a ski shop setting up snowboard rentals I'd ask how they wanted their stance, regular or goofy, so I could set the bindings up.

At least 3 times a week, for the 6 months a year we did rentals, for the 4 years I worked there, I heard from dads "well he rides regular, but he's pretty goofy hahaha."

By the end of my time there I never even bothered with a fake chuckle anymore, I just didn't have it in me.

-martorano10

I do non emergency patient transport. So, take people in and out for hospital appointments, hospital transfers and discharges.

So many times, if I rock up with the stretcher/wheelchair, and it’s empty, someone has to say “you can push me/I’ll have a lie down”.

Either that, or “you seem to have lost your patient.”

-FuriousBarbanian

As a server, when you ask a table if you can get them anything else, they answer, "a winning lottery ticket" or "how about a million dollars" at least 50% of the time.

-nordelamanz

Dealing with customers is never easy... that's why all retail jobs deserve a raise and maybe a vacation on a deserted island.

Do you have a crazy customer story? Please drop it in the comment section below for everyone to enjoy?