Being a witness to a person's passing is not easy.
A lot of the time it's a gift.
Being able to be there during a person's final moments can allow us to give comfort and peace.
Sadly, there is a flip side to this situation.
Witnessing death can be haunting.
Some people go out violently or they're scared.
I always wonder what people want to say before the end.
If you know death is coming, do you sing your favorite song?
Do you send love?
Do you curse out an ex?
People in the medical field face this every day.
They can't escape it.
Some beautiful, some haunting.
Redditor Rude_Tap_6865 wanted to hear about what some people had to say while leaving this Earth, so they asked:
"People who work in the medical field, what were some of the most scary last words you’ve heard from a dying patient?"
There
"I volunteer with hospice and my patient had fallen and was not doing well. She wasn’t really fully awake and aware while I was there. When I went to leave she looked me in the eyes and was so 'there' (not sure of a better word) and said I love you to me for the first and last time. She was just so sweet and I still miss her."
- Msbossyboots
Good Night
"My dad had colon cancer. He said to me he didn’t want to go to sleep because he knew he wouldn’t wake up. He did die in his sleep that night."
- Spithate
"Yeah I had the same experience with my mom, she tried for so long to stay awake because she said she felt if she fell asleep she was scared she wouldn't wake up. It took a while (and several doses of Ativan...) for her to finally feel ready to close her eyes and sleep. And sure enough, she was right, never woke back up."
- TheDocFam
To name a few
"A few stay with me. (Paramedic for context.)"
“'I think I’m going to die.'”
"It’s happened on more than one occasion where a patient directly tells me they are going to die and seconds later go into cardiac arrest. It’s so common that 'a sense of impending doom’ is a legitimate symptom."
“'Don’t let me die.'”
"He arrested as we arrived at the hospital. They didn’t get pulses back. Stable on the scene but declined rapidly during transport. That family had no way to know that was the last time they’d see him alive."
"Me: 'I’ll see you again!' Her, smiling: 'No you won’t.'"
"Hospice patient I had transported many times before. First name basis. We always said we would see each other again after I dropped her off. That time she replied with a simple 'No you won’t.' It was the last time I ever saw her. Some people just know."
"That’s what is so sacred about the medical field, really. We have this image of giving our last words to friends or family. However, for many of us, our last words will be delivered to the ears of a complete stranger. In those last moments, I’ll be whatever you need me to be. Your child, your spouse, your friend. Whatever you say will be heard, and carried with me to the end."
- Terrami
A Spring Day
"I have done hospice work, home health care, and worked in a nursing home. The best one was in a nursing home with an elderly man. We knew it was coming soon, but he had no family, so we were taking turns just being with him. He opened his eyes smiled and said, 'It’s such a lovely day. Don’t let this spoil it.' It really was a perfect Spring day; he passed about five minutes later."
"The saddest was a lady in hospice care. She kept saying, 'Not until they’re all here! Not until they’re all here!' The family finally admitted she had a son that she had disowned many years prior. They tried to locate him but weren’t successful. She died crying for her boy."
- Waterproof_soap
Listen Close
"An elderly woman was on the phone with her husband deciding on what her code status (whether or not to CPR) should be. She went into cardiac arrest mid-sentence. We didn’t notice the phone when doing CPR until after she was pronounced dead. The husband listened to the entire thing."
- cmohler22
One Word
"My dad's last word was an answer to a question."
"'Hospice.'"
"He suffered a spinal stroke that paralyzed him from the neck down and he could not breathe on his own, so he was on a ventilator for two months. We were told he wasn't recovering like he should be and the term of care at the place he was at was coming to an end. We either needed to transfer him to a long-term care facility, or go with hospice care."
"I wasn't comfortable making the decision without his input, so we got him alert enough and got a device attached to his trach tube to let him speak a little. I explained the situation and asked what he wanted to do. That one word is all he even tried to say. He was just done with it all."
"I'm thankful to the nurse who helped us and him get through it all, but it's kind of scary how easily a shi**y situation can just destroy someone's will to live."
Bye
"Dying man to his daughter, 'Honey I'm sorry but I have to go.'"
- Wooden-Emotion-9875
Sad Lonely GIF by PokémonGiphy
DNR
"I have worked in the medical field for almost 20 years but the one with the most impact was from my grandma. She told me my grandpa was waiting for her, she wanted to be him but most of all she was tired of seeing me so tired and not having a life anymore (for context, I had to quit working and put my life on hold for over 2 years to take of her full time). So she asked for a DNR. I signed and she became unconscious shortly and subsequently passed."
- NyneBany
5 Years Ago
"Something light-hearted to share. I work in retail pharmacy and called one of our regular patients to tell him his meds (monthly pick up) are ready for pick up. He managed to answer his cell phone and told me he was dying and currently at a hospice then he thanked me for always preparing his meds for him. I said you’re welcome and hung up on the phone. A few weeks later… he showed up at our pharmacy to pick up. I had to ask my coworkers if they were also seeing what I was seeing. Hahaha! That was 5 years ago. Wonder if he’s still alive."
- zopiclowne
Never Forget
"Not a scary moment, but a beautiful one..."
"I held the hand of my best friend who had metastasized breast cancer. When I kissed her cheek goodbye she had tears in her eyes and wouldn’t let go of my hand. I said, 'I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t be sad!' And while still clenching my hand she said through her tears 'I love you, don’t you ever forget it.' She closed her eyes right then and there and passed away after her 9-year battle with cancer."
- Maniacboy888
Legend
"Never really had any scary ones. Most of my work has been in cancer, and so they've either died in a relatively comfortable manner with palliative care or they've tended to go pretty suddenly."
"My favorite was a chap who was unresponsive for a few days, woke up suddenly, and asked for a Cornetto (ice cream, not a croissant). A nurse popped to the shops and got him one, he ate it, and then closed his eyes and died. Dude just had to get one last cornetto in. Legend."
- gpolk
Wrecked
"This isn't really 'scary' in the way you're asking, but when I was an intern (20+ years ago now), I was discharging a patient I had a connection with from the hospital to hospice with terminal cancer. This dude had nobody in his life. I told him I'd come to visit him, and his last words to me were 'No you won't.' But I actually did, maybe 3 weeks later. I went to the hospice house, and he had already passed away. I was wrecked. But it made me realize how fast things can change, and the impact of my last words to this dying man scared me and stuck with me.
- AllOfYouHorn
Discomfort
"My grandpa’s last words, as he was being settled into a nursing home bed for rehabilitative care: 'I’m so damn uncomfortable.'"
"He passed not five minutes later. I’ve often wondered if he’d have lived a little longer had we brought him home, instead."
- Lentra888
"You did the best you could at the time. Those decisions are never easy."
- MandMcounter
Old Man Technology GIF by The Mole AgentGiphy
Sorry
"I was in the Army, and one of my fellow soldiers was able to call their parents on a sat phone during their death. Their last words were apologies for causing so much trouble as a teen and how they wished they could be back home to fix everything. The parents were in shock, and I had to take the phone to let them know their child was gone."
"I relive this scene on repeat in my nightmares."
- Excellent_Farm_2589
"Hey mate, you did a really beautiful thing being there for your team. I’m sure that soldier’s parents are incredibly grateful their child did not die alone. I know it doesn’t mean much because it’s said so much, but thank you for your service."
- Hematomawoes
The Light
"I work as a paramedic. I had a single motorcycle crash into an electric box by a stop light. He smashed it and ended up in the wood line in a forest preserve. He was injured but not that badly. We ran it as a traumatic accident and transported to a nearby trauma center. He was awake and talking en route."
"As we pulled into the hospital he grabbed my hand and said, 'I see the light I’m dying right now.' I tried to reassure him but by the time he got into the ER, he had died. The ER doc screamed at us for not having him intubated and so on. I told the doctor what happened and he immediately apologized."
- Excellent_Chair_4391
This is why I could never be a nurse or doctor.
The burden is so heavy.
Thanks to all who do this work.
Death is frightening but also fascinating.
ANd we'll never escape it.
Hopefully, there is more peace than pain for most of us.