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Hoo boy! That weird White House meeting between Trump and Pelosi and Schumer and a statue of Mike Pence in repose certainly was something, huh?!
By my count, there were five different stages of disbelief over the course of this bizarre meeting of the minds. Stage one was "Oh my why is this being televised?" Then there was Stage 2, "Oh ok it's being televised because Trump actually thinks he's gonna come out of this not looking like an actual comprehensive moron LOL okay Don," and then Stage 3: "OMG Pelosi just said, 'Then go do it!' to the actual President of the United States of America on live national television!" This was followed by Stage 4, which was just scream-laughing until we all passed out from lack of air.
Because the whole thing was magical! Pelosi TRIED to give him an out so many times! As she later explained to reporters, she didn't want to embarrass Trump over his misstatement of facts in front of the cameras. But instead of taking the out, Trump just kept firing a gun at his own foot while bellowing "WE'VE ALREADY BUILT A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF WALL" over and over again, a thing that is easily provable to be untrue on account of the fact that, like, NONE OF THE WALL EXISTS AND PEOPLE HAVE EYES THAT SEE THINGS. It was just really something.
But it was nothing compared to what happened afterward, which is what sent me to Stage 5, wherein I evaporated into a puff of elated dust and drifted away on a breeze as this shot of Pelosi leaving the West Wing hit the internet.
I still haven't recovered. All I can think is that this Pelosi moment is what drag queen Latrice Royale meant when she advised us to "Get up, look sickening, and make them eat it." Or, as The Independent
Anyway, if you were among those who were slain by the Power of Pelosi over the Tomfoolery of Trump--or what The Independent called another example of "big d**k energy"--you weren't alone. The image of her walking out as if she'd just flicked a match over her shoulder and blown the entire place up quickly went viral, and it was epic:
Some were too so dazzled by Pelosi's style they couldn't even crack jokes:
She even got BeyoncƩd!
In closing, because it's the holidays and it's a time for giving, I will leave you with this post-meeting quote from Pelosi:
"It goes to show you: You get into a tinkle contest with a skunk, you get tinkle all over you."
Everybody I know is getting a pillow embroidered with that quote for Christmas. Pelosi bless us, every one!