Hoo boy! That weird White House meeting between Trump and Pelosi and Schumer and a statue of Mike Pence in repose certainly was something, huh?!
By my count, there were five different stages of disbelief over the course of this bizarre meeting of the minds. Stage one was "Oh my why is this being televised?" Then there was Stage 2, "Oh ok it's being televised because Trump actually thinks he's gonna come out of this not looking like an actual comprehensive moron LOL okay Don," and then Stage 3: "OMG Pelosi just said, 'Then go do it!' to the actual President of the United States of America on live national television!" This was followed by Stage 4, which was just scream-laughing until we all passed out from lack of air.
Because the whole thing was magical! Pelosi TRIED to give him an out so many times! As she later explained to reporters, she didn't want to embarrass Trump over his misstatement of facts in front of the cameras. But instead of taking the out, Trump just kept firing a gun at his own foot while bellowing "WE'VE ALREADY BUILT A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF WALL" over and over again, a thing that is easily provable to be untrue on account of the fact that, like, NONE OF THE WALL EXISTS AND PEOPLE HAVE EYES THAT SEE THINGS. It was just really something.
But it was nothing compared to what happened afterward, which is what sent me to Stage 5, wherein I evaporated into a puff of elated dust and drifted away on a breeze as this shot of Pelosi leaving the West Wing hit the internet.
Goals forever. Goals for all time. https://t.co/xbE3NgcnVD— Charlotte Clymer🏳️🌈 (@Charlotte Clymer🏳️🌈)1544578822.0
I still haven't recovered. All I can think is that this Pelosi moment is what drag queen Latrice Royale meant when she advised us to "Get up, look sickening, and make them eat it." Or, as The Independent
Anyway, if you were among those who were slain by the Power of Pelosi over the Tomfoolery of Trump--or what The Independent called another example of "big d**k energy"--you weren't alone. The image of her walking out as if she'd just flicked a match over her shoulder and blown the entire place up quickly went viral, and it was epic:
Get in loser, we’re saving democracy. #NancyPelosi https://t.co/pQjUVvA1TS— D. (@D.)1544589258.0
Trump: If I needed the votes for the wall, I would have it in one session Pelosi: You do not have the votes in the… https://t.co/OxQqnrd3vR— Nerdy Wonka (@Nerdy Wonka)1544556184.0
Nancy Pelosi is serving up some major Peggy Olson vibes. 😎 https://t.co/wVVX2hXMmc— kaye kringle 🎄 (@kaye kringle 🎄)1544601412.0
When you care enough to send the very best. Nancy Pelosi. https://t.co/i8UYN4ukPA— Bigly Brian's Bigly Bad Attitude (@Bigly Brian's Bigly Bad Attitude)1544598537.0
I only endorse badasses, I live for Nancy Pelosi qualifications, experience and shade! https://t.co/fiQ4WCUbUs— Mr. Weeks ✊🏽 (@Mr. Weeks ✊🏽)1544559582.0
Nancy Pelosi leaving the White House after #TrumpShutdown talks. https://t.co/YI1N3YEN3M— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@Mrs. Betty Bowers)1544559712.0
Me leaving your Holiday Party after starting major drama https://t.co/BRf98b9R2g— phil (@phil)1544553134.0
Meet @NancyPelosi. Smockstar. https://t.co/hJ70AER08j— Ken Olin (@Ken Olin)1544559469.0
Some were too so dazzled by Pelosi's style they couldn't even crack jokes:
I’m gonna need Nancy Pelosi’s outfit asap https://t.co/GpPb1HAJah— kelli (@kelli)1544595719.0
Internet and its users, don’t disappoint, come through. We need details on @NancyPelosi’s burnt/orange coat as she… https://t.co/nlbKQNgXtG— Victoria Uwonkunda (@Victoria Uwonkunda)1544557135.0
Has anybody figured what coat this is she’s wearing? I waited to ask this question, let the seriousness of the situ… https://t.co/ngOaf4CftZ— Barry Jenkins (@Barry Jenkins)1544581897.0
She even got Beyoncéd!
Nancy Pelosi spotted on the street after her White House meeting with Trump. https://t.co/LIzP7MZ0e7— T.R. Morley (@T.R. Morley)1544560086.0
In closing, because it's the holidays and it's a time for giving, I will leave you with this post-meeting quote from Pelosi:
"It goes to show you: You get into a tinkle contest with a skunk, you get tinkle all over you."
Everybody I know is getting a pillow embroidered with that quote for Christmas. Pelosi bless us, every one!