"Don't touch me or my skin!" is a legendary battle cry in my family, courtesy of a frustrated and dramatic then-three-year-old.
She wanted to be picked up and cuddled, but also not touched in any way shape or form.
Honestly - same, fam.
Like... it's impossible but also I totally get it.
Reddit user NoLifeNoSoulNoMatter asked:
" Parents of toddlers, what was today’s meltdown-worthy tragedy?"
Buckle up, friends.
Toddlers are a wild and confusing ride.
Going Bananas
"He asked me to open the banana but he didn't get to open it himself"
- kooror
"This is why I just slightly open it and then give it to them to finish the job. Took me many MANY breakdowns to figure it out."
- CinderRebel
"This one is the worst. 'I can’t open it. Dad you do it'. I open it. 'Why did you doooo that?! I waaaanted to oooooopen it!!!!'."
- sojuandbbq
"Lmao I feel so seen right now"
- J33P88
"This. Mine says 'No, my turn!!' God forbid you don’t let her do the thing. Which is normally just closing a drawer or something mundane."
- AmericanKamikaze
GiphyBox Head
"He wants to put a box on my head but it's broken and keeps falling off. So apparently it's ruining his play time."
- Ccaster0620
"How dare you"
- AzureBluet
"I mean my playtime would definitely be ruined if my mommy's head kept falling off."
- Ordinary-Greedy
Ah Yes The Terrible 22's
"Took the car down to the body shop to get the side panel that he crunched buffed out. The car won't be ready until Wednesday but he wanted to go back downtown to party with his roommates tonight. He's 22."
- optiongeek
"Ah the terrible twenty-twos! Hopefully he grows out of it soon!"
- BlueJeanMistress
"So, you’re telling the rest of us that the whining never stops. Thanks. Haha"
- sojuandbbq
"He's a great kid and we're very lucky. But yeah, the whining never really stops."
- optiongeek
There Was A List
"First: his dad left for work. Second: he dumped out the box of goldfish crackers. Third: I picked up the goldfish crackers. Fourth: it wasn’t the right episode of Paw Patrol. Fifth: I won’t let him eat shoes."
- Autumn_Tea95
"Wow that last one is just plain rude of you."
- BlabBehavior
"Oh, don’t you love it when they want the second part of the show and you have no idea which one it is because they only list the first part?"
- Fallwalking
Giphy
So Jealous
"My husband kissed me and apparently he is only allowed to show her affection. There was a lot of screaming and forcibly pulling us apart."
- turtchel
"My toddle is like this but the reverse. He fully believes I am his woman."
- J33P88
"(Nods in Sigmund Freud)"
- Levitatethemic
"Yep. From what I remember It takes a while to understand the concept that affection is not a finite thing"
- Daggerfont
We Get This One
"She wasn't on the couch with her bottle and teddy bear."
"But actually, she was, but things weren't right"
- BronzeAgeTea
"I mean to be fair how many of us are guilty of this? Or like when I get my food and blankies and become ensconced and then Netflix won’t play what I want or the remote is out of reach?"
- Munneh
"The worst is settling in with blankets and snacks only to realize the remote is out of reach. Ugh! I have to get up now?!"
- MountainHighOnLife
"Aw bless. She just doesn't know how to explain how she feels."
- PrawnCocktailWotsits
"So far she's communicating 'eat', 'more', and 'banana'. We're slowly working our way up to the fung shui of the couch haha"
- BronzeAgeTea
Those Two Are Tough Ones
"The cat was touching his toy. The toy HE threw onto the cat..."
"He also had a meltdown because his leg was attached to him..."
- Boogzcorp
"Ok I need more information on the leg"
- RepresentativePin162
"We were driving along, all of a sudden from the back seat he starts crying and what not."
"I can't get it off!"
"What?"
" 'My leg!' queue him pulling at his leg through fits of tears..."
- Boogzcorp
My Poop!
"I flushed his poop and can’t get it back and now he can’t poop again."
- peachandscream
"This one. I still love to embarrass my 15 year old by bringing it up. His dad flushed the toilet after he peed when he was maybe 3 or 4 years old. It was just before bedtime. Oh the heartbroken tears coz 'daddy flushed my wee'. Told him to go again. 'I don't have soooooome', was the wailed answer"
- Objective_Sink5398
"I love this, but want to add to it- my kid is convinced the toilet can’t handle his poop. I’ve shown him how the toilet works, I’ve explained the entire sewage processing system to him several times, but he’s not going for it."
"I thought the answer would be to show him 'dad’s poop going down', so I asked his dad to 'save' a poop to flush with him watching.Dad sent a text, I sent my kid up, and seconds later I hear traumatic crying. Kid came running downstairs crying about daddy’s 'massive' poop, (my kid loves the word massive, but is good at using it in proper context), and I think we’re a good 3 months before he’ll even try pooping in the potty again."
- Perfect_Orchid2984
GiphyI Have Rights
"Watched my 3 year old niece. Apparently not letting her eat cat treats is a violation of her civil rights"
- LanguageResident
"I've sharpened my pitchfork & lit my torch. You are obviously a monster."
- JustHereForCookies17
"Talked to my pediatrician because my child kept eating the cat's food. (Elderly cat, tall toddler, really couldn't put the food up higher.) He suggested we switch to a moister food so my kid wouldn't choke."
- mel2mdl
"Let her eat them. They won't harm her."
- Sacu_Shi_again
GiphyLet's be honest—they're a lot more relatable than we'd like to admit.
@realDonaldTrump/Truth Social
@islamoradalover/Bluesky
@hillbillybluedog/Bluesky