an Oh Myyy Property

We all know one person who annoys us to no end - maybe they're in a constant state of self-pity, or perhaps they relentlessly try to push their religion onto others. How about compulsive liars? Anyway, everybody has that one special person whom they almost love to be annoyed by. These are their stories.


LGBecca asked, Who is the single most annoying person you have ever encountered in your life?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

This compulsive liar - why?

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I know a guy who lies about LITERALLY everything for no reason. It absolutely bugs the hell out of me.

Some of the lies are so mundane I don't understand what the point is, then some are very horrific to attempt picking up women. Involving fake deaths of family members and such.

Giddnut

People who constantly feel the need to brag about themselves.

My coworker. He finds a way to talk about his achievements no matter the conversation.

Anyone in the office: hey! How's it going?

Him: great, not as great as when I found out I got in the top 5% of the class, then got on a journal and moot court, BTW have I told you about my future career plans?

Sammie8831

When people make stuff up about you, then make fun of you for it.

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This co worker of mine made fun of me for wanting to be a doctor. I never told anyone I wanted to be a doctor, ever. Because I don't. So now I am constantly made fun of for thinking I'm smarter than I am.

LennyIsBack

This busybody supervisor.

I had to share a small office with this guy. For one thing, he always talked at a volume that might be appropriate if you were standing next to a jet engine, and frequently scream sneezed, which made it awkward when I was on phone calls. He was also incredibly nosy and took Dwight Schrute levels of joy in enforcing pointless, minor rules. He once wrote me up for a safety violation for having my car keys on my desk, because someone could have stolen my car, crashed it and hurt someone. He once tried to go over my division manager's head when she bought be a new chair because he thought it was not from an approved vendor (it was). Also, everyone hated this guy so much that they would only speak to him through me.

I have never been so happy at someone's retirement party.

ElToberino

This entry-level incompetence.

I work in an entry-level job where there are only two major job requirements: Stand on your feet for long periods at a time and understand how to use a computer.

My manager has hired 5 women who do not meet these qualifications at all. These women range from ages 59 to 63. It is as if he was actively looking for people in need of back, knee and/or hip surgery when hiring. And all of them struggle to understand the basic functions of a computer, let alone the complexities of electronic medical record.

brooksiepants

This roommate from Hell.

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My Craigslist roomy. She goes in everyone's rooms when they are not home. She takes up the whole fridge. She likes to binge eat in the living room and not clean up the massive aftermath. She guilts us into hanging out with her and CONSTANTLY tries to get us to do things for her. She sends passive aggressive texts. She broke my chair by sitting in it and tried to hide it. She also yells when she is on the phone. And she is always on the phone. She takes things, she lies. She harasses our land lord so they hate us.

handzies

This sanctimonious, power-hungry coworker.

I work with a part timer(two days a week, where as I'm there 5 days a week) who likes to act as if she's the manager and tries to tell everyone what to do. She always complains about how "messy" the shop is from the second she walks through the door, yet sits on the stairs all day eating. She's also very religious, which I have nothing against, but she tries shoving it down your throat at any given chance! F*ck her.

Moonlighhht

"Queen TMI."

Queen TMI was a coworker who, for some reason, thought we were friends. She latched onto me like a remora, spilling her guts daily and telling me all about her dysfunctional home life: her daughters, her separation from her husband, her affairs with random gang banger types, her medical history. Sometimes she would cry at my desk. I would hide from her when i saw her coming. One day she told me, "I had an abortion over the weekend." She drove me insane to the point where people thought I was overreacting. When she was fired I bought flowers for myself.

MrFishpaw

This pinnacle of achievement.

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A friend from high school always had to have the biggest fish ever and let everyone know he's the best. If you're driving a pre-owned Toyota, he's gonna explain how his spray painted Honda, barely functioning from all the mods done, is clearly the superior vehicle. He let me know I was an idiot for spending so much on tattoos since he knew someone to do it cheaper using only an RC motor.

Eventually I get fed up. Someone was asking where I lived and this started a conversation about if it's a rough area and Mr. Bigfish had to tell about where he used to live like it's a crime-infested ghetto he barely survived (I live in that area now. It's quite nice). I punched him in the chest once and he walked away.

Last I heard, he's dodging his baby mama and was using products I designed the packaging for. He believes a college education is an overall waste of money and you just need a GED to get a job and anything else can be learned on YouTube.

OkCounterculture

Ms. "it's just so hard being me."

Not sure about most ever, but currently:

I sit next to this middle-aged woman who works in HR and her life is literally the hardest ever. Like it's just so hard. Everything. Omg everything is soooo hard. Like everything. OMG it's just so hard. What can she even do?!

notafish6

The relentless interloper.

There's a woman I work with who will insert herself in any and every conversation that happens within an earshot of her. Literally any conversation. And she can't stand it if the break room is silent. You can be in the corner of the room quietly eating your lunch and reading a book or looking at your phone, and she'll walk right up to you and start yapping.

Oh that looks good. Looks like Olive Garden. Is is Olive Garden? I love their breadsticks. Ooh, what's that book about? Oh I like your shoes. Steve has a similar pair. Have you seen Steve's shoes? They look just like yours.

For the love of god woman. Go away. You're ruining my break.

Shaw-Deez

The useless employee.

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I have a guy like that who I work with, he's assigned to work the desk and just disappears, leaving the register and a bunch of sensitive information unattended. To make matters worse he also spends half the day talking to his gf instead of helping us when it gets busy. Plus he's 28 so he doesn't even have the excuse that he's still young and immature.

zakkil

When you get trapped listening to boring stories...

There is a guy that hangs out at a local tattoo shop and won't stop talking and telling stories. People tolerate it because he lost his wife and is lonely. It's really not that bad, just sorta bothersome. When you're getting ink you can't exactly leave. The shop I go to is open concept.

We call him the punisher. He thinks it's because he's a badass or something, but it's really because he actually punishes people.

Chiiirpy

A real life Sid Phillips.

I grew up with a kid down the street from me who was a complete brat. He constantly insulted people, loved gross, rude, mean and sexual jokes from a young age. He idolized Beavis and Butthead. He taught his dog to hump things on command and he'd tell the dog to hump people for his own amusement. He would talk about stuffed animals having genitals and then try to rub their crotch in your face. He was the kind of kid who played pranks on other people at slumber parties.

Last I heard, he was arrested for burglary.

You ruined so many good moments, Nathan.

ChickenSashay

What a piece of work.

Giphy

My husband and I were friends with this couple. The woman was an artist. She really was a working artist and made a living from selling her art and teaching. She was quite good in my opinion. We have one of her pieces in our home that we paid $1500 for. We love it.

Her husband was a realtor. He, I and my husband all had the same interests, which did not interest the wife at all.

We'd trade having them over for dinner at our house and then we'd go to theirs. If we went to theirs, we had to have a tour of her studio to look at her new work every single time. Then we'd spend the first part of the evening hearing about her new shows, new galleries, etc. Her, her, her.

After dinner, we'd sit in the living room and the conversation would usually turn to things she was not interested in because we'd already spent 1.5-2 hours talking about her interests.

Her husband, I and my husband would be in the middle of a conversation and she'd just butt in and try to change the subject. We'd listen to her for a few minutes and make small talk and then we'd gravitate back to what we were talking about.

She'd interrupt again and again. Even if we were talking about something other than our specific interests, if we weren't talking about what she wanted to talk about (i.e. her) she'd keep trying to control the conversation.

When they came to our house, they'd bring their young daughter and she'd try to make our teenage daughter "play" with her so they didn't have to watch her. Our daughter is a good person and she'd spend a couple of hours with this kid, but then she'd want to go do her own thing. The wife was constantly telling her daughter to "go find" mine and I'd have to shut it down.

I finally stopped having them over to our house because one night, we'd had dinner and were having dessert in the living room. It was chocolate something. Their daughter finished her dessert and then she walked over to the only white chair in the room and wiped her chocolate mouth on the cushion. She was 8 years old. I jumped up to get some cleaning supplies to try and get the chocolate out before it set.

Neither parent ever reprimanded the child, apologized or offered to help clean the chair.

Our relationship ended after we retired and put our house up for sale. The house sold quickly but we didn't close for 2.5 months. I had planned to let all our friends know we were moving and where once everything was settled.

The week before my husband retired and a two weeks before we closed, he had a heart attack. I had to worry about him, get us packed, and moved during that last week before closing all by myself. I didn't actually get everything out of the garage before our noon closing time, but the buyers were very understanding and I was finished by 2pm.

About a month after that, I get an email from the wife complaining about how I didn't use her husband as our realtor and how by not doing so we'd cost them money. I'd already told them numerous times that we don't mix business with friendship. We'd even told them a story about buying our first house through a "friend" and what a disaster it was.

That was five years ago and we haven't spoken to them since.

awhq

Addiction makes you do strange things...

Addictions are dangerous. It takes a hold of your life and strangles it. It festers slowly and disintegrates your world. Well most of them do. We all have behavioral addictions that often become a quirky character trait. Sometimes it can actually be cute. Well certain behaviors within reason that is. Some can be downright annoying and fodder for the therapist.

Redditor u/milanamilana asked people to divulge a few things, asking... What's your "strange addiction"?

Ah the cones...

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When I am out walking in wooded areas I spend a lot of time trying to find pine cones to stand on.

I do it because when you find a suitably dry one it feels amazing and sounds so good. Do it. Tends to work best if they are stood upright. wewannagetloaded

The sound of music...

I will listen to music for hours on end while walking around a room, imagining various stories and scenarios. Glissando365

I do that constantly. It doesn't interfere with my life but I love coming up with all kinds of stories and dropping myself into them. ParsnipPizza2

Flesh eater.

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Chewing the inside of my mouth. classik_e

My 30 year old sister has done this her whole life, and I have never seen or met anyone else that does it as noticeably as her. She'll take the second knuckle of her index finger and push her cheek in so she can chew on it. She's gotten better about not doing it as often. I've never asked her why she does it. yolkfacekilla

Daydream Believer. 

I'm not sure how common this is but shopping for million dollar penthouses and yachts that I will never be able to afford. I just like to dream I guess. ShellSwitch

I do this a ton, it's my night time wind down in bed activity to look at /r/roomporn and imagine myself as the buyer. What I would change, what I like etc etc. ExeterMegaladon

Yuck! 

This is so gross but I am addicted to picking. Pimples, dry skin, scabs, anything pick-able I will dig at it till I bleed. No I am not on drugs. It's so bad that I am contemplating hypnosis. Annon8765

I'm so hangry!

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Going through the kitchen in search of food, giving up, then lowering my standards and looking again. bibi-chocobun

I do this ALL THE TIME!!!!

I open the fridge, look around, take a mental note of what is there and close the doors and walk away. an hour later i come back and open the fridge, look around and think of what i might want... as if my stomach wants it, but my brain says no. tunersharkbitten

Look at the people...

Analyzing other people when I'm out in public. I enjoy trying to figure out who they are just by what I see. DARKcsb

I like doing this with my mom.

We would guess "who went with who" at the food court in the mall when I was growing up. We would look at people with their trays of food and try to guess who their significant other was waiting at the table.

My mom was almost always right. It's a fond memory :) girlroseghost

Staying mute...

I'm addicted to avoiding phone calls. QiNavigator

I purposefully reply to texts with at least hour delay so it's not fishy that I am never able to accept any calls.OresteiaCzech

I found a reality series...

Giphy

Donating sperm to lesbians.

I started off donating to some friends then they began recommending me to other lesbians through a FB group.

It's so rewarding and I've fathered 7 so far. Socialist7

Thank you for reading! 

Reading creepy stories on Reddit, which I guess isn't that strange. Alec122

And then regretting it when you try to sleep? Because that's what I do. CautiousMusic

REDDIT

Sam Tabone/WireImage via Getty Images, Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic via Getty Images

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If you talk to anyone studying English as a second language, they'll tell you how hard it is to learn. If you grew up speaking English as your only language, it probably doesn't seem that difficult; but as a bilingual native English speaker who learned a second language later in life I can tell you, English is WEIRD!

English has so many inconsistencies in spelling, pronunciation, verb conjugation...don't get me started. American English, UK English, and Australian English all spell things differently and the same word can have completely different meanings or connotations.

It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I started learning Japanese, in which a word is always pronounced exactly like it looks like it should be, that I gained a real understanding of how hard English would be for someone to try to learn as a second language. Even as a native speaker who loves the English language and writes for a living, I sometimes struggle with its many homophones (there, their, and they're, for example) and grammatical inconsistencies. Even our mnemonics that are taught in school to help remember these differences don't always hold true. "I before E, except after C" is something most American children are taught in elementary school, but what about neighbor, weight, and veil?

Redditor STUDkatz asked:

What's something weird about English (or another language) that native speakers don't think about?

Below, you'll find an assortment of the weird quirks of the language that you've probably never thought about.

My Brain Hurts

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English might be difficult. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

-SpeeeeedBoost

It's Right, But Why?

A native speaker has a knowledge of implicit grammar (through learning naturally as a child) that would require an adult years to study and review.

You're spewing out the correct answer but god help you if someone asks you to show your work.

-BaanThai

I am an editor and I still sometimes have trouble when asked why something should be a certain way. I just KNOW it's wrong (or correct) and I can't always explain why.

-Lil-Maece

It took until i was 16 to realize there's actually a rule to figure out if you should use a or an... Before that (and admittedly since) I was just going with the one that didn't sound dumb out loud

-booneruni

Unnecessary Combination

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People assume a lot of silly things, such as words that can be combined always are.

Examples: "Yeah I maybe doing that later." or "I do that everyday."

I want to punch myself for writing that.

-PM_ME_A_PLANE_TICKET

Running A Bit Long

Run has hundreds of uses (forms). Last I checked it was a little over 250. You run a program, you run over toads in your car, the chicken run has a duck in it, The ads run too long on the TV, you run out of toilet paper, you run down to the shop in the car, you run up a bill at the shop after the assistant gave you the run around. You run into a friend but you have to run home as you had the runs and something was running down your leg. You run to the toilet but you run into a problem. Your kid is running a lemonade stand in the doorway. You're now running a little brown cable along your path. You hope nobody takes a picture and runs it in the paper as you are running for office. Your stance is against gun runners but you're hauling a little brown nuke right now. I've run out but there's more.

-PapaOoMaoMao

Sometimes The Joke Is In The Translation

Pakistani urdu-english speaker, there are a LOT of words that are absolutely hilarious when taken in the context of english but my 2 favorite have to be which is a letter in the urdu alphabet and is pronounced exactly like "Meme" and another which is a punjabi name which is literally spelled and pronounced "Butt", there is also a national level bakery brand called "Butt"

Urdu is a great language

-Theodoric___

Strength Or Weakness?

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There is a common nine letter word with only a single vowel in English.

That word is "strengths".

-Wobbles42

Ordered Descriptors

Adjectives have a specific order they are supposed to be arranged. For example, you would never say the green large five dragons. You would say the five large green dragons. The order that English typically follows for adjectives is:

1. Quantity or number

2. Quality or opinion

3. Size

4. Age

5. Shape

6. Color

7. Proper adjective

8. Purpose or qualifier

-TinkerTailorSoldjur

Rhymes with Confusion

Read and lead rhyme and so do read and lead, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.

-LinnyFlower

About Time You Realized It

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I never really appreciated the word "about" until I started learning French and realized there are about a couple dozen different words you have to learn about where in English we would just say "about." It's just about one of the most versatile and useful words we have.

-schnit123

Confusing Combos

Native English speaker here.

How irritatingly complex and nuanced English (and other Germanic languages) verbs are for having tons of common verbs that change meaning completely or only subtly with one flip of a preposition and sometimes even more so by stacking a few more on.

Put + on, in, out, off, toward, into, forth, away, up, up with, down, past

Set + on, off, out, in, up, down

Run + off, on, out, into, away, up, down, over, at, through

Take + on, out, in, away, up, over, off

Break + in, out, up, down, up with, into, out of away

Give + up, out, away, in, out

Get + on, in, out, up, down, away, away with, along, by, back, through, across, over, into, at

Work + up, up to, out, through

Come + in, out, by, across, through, over, at

Do + in, away with, over, up

Hang + up, in, out, out with, over, with, off, back

Then ones where the options are fewer, they're either somewhat related or *not at all*.

Chat vs chat someone up.

Make something up vs make out.

This list isn't exhaustive because I got tired of thinking but I've heard many a friend moan and groan about how every combination seems like a whole new word or phrase to memorize. That even if it looks familiar, they can't trust it. Most other languages just have a unique word for each idea or at least morphology that is somehow linked. Work + through makes sense in that it implies you're belaboring or in the midst of resolving something (imagine pushing *through* something). So some make at least a little logical sense. Put + up + with has no clue in it that it means to endure or tolerate. Come + over is just like "went from toward me above something?"

Set + off (an alarm) makes no sense at all. Isn't it actually going *on*?

Break + in (to use a new item for the first time, implying the start of the process of making it yours) — just "breaking" your boots is bad but if you do it on the inside, it's desired?

Give + out as in, "my car's engine gave out." (went kaput) Did it hand you a piece of candy?

If repeating doing something is "doing something over," then what do these mean:

"coming over"

"handing over"

"taking over"

"getting over"

At least in languages like Spanish that are better stocked in the logic department, these all are treated as different ideas that they are.

Venir a visitar

Entregar

Encargarse de

Superar

EDIT: Spelling mistakes and additional examples.

-stanographer

H/T: Reddit

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