Dating is hard.
Why is that?
I think mostly because of everyone's inability to communicate properly.
Signals are easy to give.
Say what you mean.
Dating shouldn't be a big mystery.
We make it so difficult and traumatizing.
Redditor Ok_Professional7444 wanted to hear about the times everyone has been left guessing by a romantic partner, so they asked:
"What’s the most confusing mixed signal you’ve ever received while dating?"
Guessing
"Strong interest in private, distance in public."
"It leaves you guessing instead of feeling chosen."
- gamersecret2
"It's their own insecurities, nothing to do with you. The closer you are, the more they see you as part of them, and they suffer self-esteem issues."
- thesquaredape
illustrate margot robbie GIF Giphy
Not So Serious
"Someone who texted me all day, every day - good morning texts, inside jokes, emotional support - but insisted they 'weren’t ready for anything serious.' Meanwhile, they got jealous if I mentioned anyone else. That one messed with my head for a while."
- Zestyclose_Recipe395
"A guy did that to me, and he also said 'we didn’t know each other well enough' (we had known each other for at least 7 months, but fair), and was talking about how he didn’t wanna rush into things like he always did. We both moved away after we stopped talking, and he was publicly dating a girl within 2 months and talking about her in our shared GC. Some people just need to grow up and learn how to say if they aren’t into someone."
"I’m still so confused by this because he was chasing me for months beforehand and doing borderline sexual harassment stuff in the workplace (we worked together). He wasn’t a great guy, and the signs of him being shitty were there, but it was my first “situationship” or whatever people say, and I was dumb."
- ghostfrogz
Married Now
"He gave me a house key after a couple of months of exclusive dating - picked a romantic moment, had a cute keychain ready, the whole nine. I was stoked. Started staying over more often, coming over a little while before he got home from work to tidy up or cook dinner or wait for him in sexy lingerie. Everything was great. It wasn’t until several months later that he admitted that he meant the key for emergencies and the like; he wasn’t expecting me to hang around all the time. I was so embarrassed."
"Anyways, we’re married now."
- Brave_Needleworker_4
Ummmm...
"My GF invited her friend, whom I had never met before, to join us for dinner at the resort where we were staying."
"Then she told me that she broke up with her last BF because he tried to sleep with that friend."
"Later that night, she asked me to have sex with that friend while she watched."
"Ummmm..."
- Routine_Mine_3019
I guess if you want...
"One evening, she was very affectionate. Leaning against me, holding my arm, telling me how much she enjoys spending time with me."
"The next evening, I finished work early and called her. She was at a mutual friend's apartment. I asked if I could join them. She said, 'I guess, if you want.' I went and was warmly welcomed by everyone except her. She hardly made eye-contact with me."
"Two days later, she's sitting extra close to me in a class, wants to walk with me, and invites me to her place for lunch between classes."
"Turned out that making guys confused was her hobby. It took me way too long to cut that yo-yo string."
- HawaiianShirtsOR
AUDACITY
"Ghosted me for three months and then replied to my Instagram story with '😍😍' like nothing happened. The audacity needs to be studied in a lab."
- Possible_Bread_4682
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Sorry
"One day, she texts me that she really feels so passionate about me, I’m all she thinks about, and she wants to sit with me and make out all day."
"Literally the next day, it’s 'sorry, this isn’t working, and I don’t think time is on our side.' That really messed with my head for a while. Still weird after all these years."
- Gibby1293
YES
"My ex and I broke up after like a month of 'dating,' and became more of a situationship a year later. I wanted to become official, but he would always hesitate (keep in mind, he’s telling me how much he loves me, how I’m the only one he feels comfortable and safe with, he doesn’t want to lose me, all that jazz). After a few months of this, he says I have to ask him out, since he wants to make sure I’m not just saying 'yes' because he asked me. He wants me to want it as well. I ask him out, and he says he’s not ready."
"I think he just got off on having me pine after him and stringing me along, while he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted."
- annon368
At the Coffee Shop
"Once, when I was in law school, I met an extremely beautiful woman at a coffee shop. She asked if she could share a table with me -- there was limited space, so it wasn't a particularly forward request, but conversation followed and the chemistry was instantaneous."
"The second or third time I saw her there, she suggested we grab a drink sometime and asked for my number. (I probably would have already asked for hers had I not been seeing someone else casually.) She texted later that day to invite me to her apartment for dinner."
"So I went over, and she had candles burning, a bottle of wine open, and cooked an amazing meal. We chat for several hours, share the bottle and half of another. I'm having a wonderful time, and she seems to be as well -- that impression is confirmed after dinner, when she suggests we watch a movie. Which of course I agreed to."
"We sit down on the couch, and she cuddles right up to me. I put my arm around her, and she weaves her hand into mine. After a respectful 10-15 minutes of movie-watching and chatting, I ask if I can kiss her. She says, 'Oh my gosh, I have a long-distance boyfriend -- I'm so sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.'"
"Dating is full of surprises, good and bad -- but there's genuinely no other moment I look back on and still completely fail to understand."'
- caiusthetroll
2 Months Straight
"This girl I was dating would talk to me most of the day every day for 2 months straight, had some crazy sex with me told me I was all green flags, that she appreciated how patient and understanding I was, went on cute dates with me, and even planned some, told me she felt really connected to me, etc. etc."
"But told me it was way too soon to be exclusive, and that I was controlling and insecure for asking. She did all that other s**t, but commitment was too much for her."
"Then randomly went ballistic on me when a mom walked by my line of sight with a stroller and claimed I was staring at her, and it was so disrespectful, even though she still wanted to be single and date other guys. Then she ended things out of nowhere, supposedly because of that lol."
"I think things just got too real for her, and she was not used to being in a stable environment. It was like she only felt comfortable in chaos."
- TheRealJamesHoffa
For Real
"He came back into the picture, and he said: I've been in therapy working on things, and I want to be with you. I want to try this for real."
"He spent the next month or so avoiding me before telling me it wasn't going to work."
"I later found out that at the time he told me, 'I want to try this for real,' he had just gone under contract on a house with a live-in girlfriend whom I knew nothing about."
- so_i_happened
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Pumpkins
"Wanting to do something. Saying you’re going to do said thing. Like going to the pumpkin patch, going on a date, getting something to eat, etc. And then when I ask getting mad at me for asking if we were still going to do said thing. And then imagine that happening to you every single time your partner makes plans with you. Hate that feeling."
- Emotional_gangsta
Communicate
"Not dating, but wanted to date. She called me, saying she liked me and wanted to pursue things with me. After I said yes, she proceeded to work increasingly heavy shifts and never had time to sit down with me, hang out, or meet me outside of her work. So on one hand she wants to pursue something, but on the other hand she's never available and doesn't communicate."
RUN!!!
"He told me he loved me on a night out. The next time we saw each other, I asked if that meant he was my boyfriend (he said it very unexpectedly, we had been dating for about a month but hadn't put a label on things yet), and he said NO."
I wasn't sure how to react, as I was actually going to talk to him about how I wanted things to slow down, so I was just like ok... the next time we hung out, he said he thought about it, and we were boyfriend and girlfriend."
"In hindsight, I should have run."
- PonytailEnthusiast
Happy Days!
"Was with a guy for 7 years, he came home one day, said he was leaving, and packed his stuff. Then for the next 2 years, he texted me every day telling me he loved me and occasionally came round to see me. Then I found out he was seeing someone, I called him out on it, and I've never heard from him since."
"Wish I had just let him walk away when he said he was going... f**k being in love. But I am now single and happy!"
- emisathome
Oh Yeah Dancing GIF by Jennifer Accomando Giphy
Why ghost people?
It's so rude!
Just say you're not interested.
After reading all of this, I'm even more shocked that people find partners.
Say what you mean.
Do what you say you're gonna do.
So easy.
u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit
u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit