We all like different things.
That's what makes being in a relationship so wonderful. We find ourselves attracted to the unique and varied qualities in another person. It's when those qualities turn toxic, leading to miserable days and long nights, that you should probably take a step back and wonder if this relationship is right for you.
Thankfully, the internet and men on the internet the world over are ready to tell you what you should be wary of.
Reddit user, ObjectivePin5704, wanted to know what to keep an eye out for when they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what uncommon red flags in men should women be on the look out for?"
Right up front: Don't date men like this.
Putting On One Face...
"If he is a jerk to your friends or other people, but can also be excessively charming."
SoonToBeExMo13
"All my sisters a--hole boyfriends"
"He is sweet when we are alone"
cbeiser
...Only To Reveal Another
"If he is excessively charming to everyone, but a d-ck to you"
legendariel
"This one for me as well. It can be so dangerous."
"My ex told me his extremely abusive father was super charming outside the house and when they sought help, no one believed them because his father was "too nice to do that"."
farty_mcfarts
I Just Won't Drink That Much. I Promise.
"angry drunk"
Sasquatchii
"Also angry drunk who insists on driving while drunk."
traumatransfixes
Trying To Make You Hate Your Friends
"This really goes for any gender but when they point out little problems with your friends and try to push you away from them."
"'Eh… Rachel didn’t seem to like me that much.” Or “She’s kinda a b-tch.” Can planet little seeds in your head and not want to hang out with them anymore because your partner is always right! Right?"
Environmental_Joke84
No Time For Mother Haters
"Men who don’t respect their mother, father or anyone who clearly played a significant role in their upbringing. They don’t treat their family right, chances are they won’t treat you right either."
Future-Teacher-7336
A personality is always something you should be wary of, but don't fret, as long as there's concrete evidence of attempted improvement, there's always hope.
Then there's men like this who are content with being a big old bag of suck.
Nothing Going On
"When I worked at KFC, there was a girl whose boyfriend would stay parked outside the door the during her entire shift. That is not something I've seen commonly and it's a HUGE red flag."
LobotomistPrime
"That's both a MASSIVE red flag and kind of sad at the same time, imagine having nothing going on, no hobbies, no interests, no chores so much that you can afford to do that,"
"Plus this pretty much guarantees that the guy doesn't have a real job and the poor girl has to support her stalkerish manbaby of a boyfriend on a fast-food worker salary since he's clearly got nothing going on"
IShallPetYourDogo
Fool Me Once...
"If someone cheats once, they can change"
"If someone cheats twice, they’ll cheat again"
LordVortekan
Cannot Carry On A Conversation
"Immediately shutting down when you try to discuss anything “deep” or potentially problematic in the relationship."
chethedestroyer
"I know someone who does this, drives me crazy, I'm like, "Let's work on this together!" and they're like, "It's impossible for us to change!""
"Sigh..."
PlumbumGus
Can Never Say You're Sorry
"Inability to apologize"
PM_meurbewbs_nbutts
"And not really apologizing. “I’m sorry you felt I was being/doing x but I wasn’t.” Yeah, that’s not really an apology."
WithoutDennisNedry
Look For The Subtle Shifts
"If their personality changes after the first few months and you start to feel like you are walking on eggshells most days, there is a good chance they have masked who they really are and where only being who they think you want them to be."
"This can be a sign of an emotional abuser and you will hold on to 'the true them' believing they are just going through something and you can bring them back to how it was."
"You can't. Run"
Blue_peppercorn
Trying To Be The "Alpha"
"dudes who try to humilate other dudes in front of women. also, related: dudes who backstab and talk sh-t about other dudes to look better in front of women"
halfmeasures611
"Or slightly related again, guys who are “just joking,” or “trying to be funny,” while putting others down."
bcnewell88
"This is my favorite. I’m a female, but I keep an open ear for this sh-t among men and woman. One of the strongest signs of a low grade person.People tell on themselves all the time if you’re paying attention"
Repulsive-Positive30
What if it's something you had never considered? A trait you could never see coming?
"Who Was That? Why Are You Always Talking To Them?"
"When they need to know who you were talking to or detailed descriptions of where you were all day. Classic control behavior which is a strong indicator of either emotional and/or abusive behavior."
sho_nuff80
It's Okay If They're Better Than You
"Someone who can’t accept your accomplishments."
"Don’t be with someone who feels the need to compete with you or can’t accept that you’ve accomplished your goals."
"My wife is a Doctor; I’m a f-cking idiot! I asked her what made her want to marry me. She said, “You took time to praise my accomplishments and made me feel important—all while struggling yourself.”
OLPopsAdelphia
Making Nothing But Bad Jokes
"When all jokes are about relationship power, that's definitely not funny. It's always about how they're in charge and you can't take a joke."
"Go make me a sandwich", ball gag for your birthday when you're not into that, "hey how about I cut you off from your b-tchy friends you talk to too much? I'm helping you, ha ha"
maybethingsnotsobad
Paints An Interesting Picture
"All the comments here seem to be quite common as far as red flags go. These are all the things I see ladies on dating sites say they want to avoid."
"Uncommon ones?"
- "hides beer under his bed"
- "keeps a knife under his pillow"
- "has hidden cameras in his living room and kitchen"
"...etc"
Asclepius555
Doesn't Even Have The Basic Decency
"If he doesn't return the cart when grocery shopping."
Da_Pwn_Shop
"I consider that one of the universal red flag signs for anybody. Along with no signalling and littering"
BrTalip
Always put yourself front and center in terms of safety. Never be afraid to speak up for what you want, and if you sense something is off, get out.
Men, what should women look out for in a potential partner? Tell us in the comments!
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