Nearly everyone of age has gone on at least one date in their lives, and we're here to say that dating is hard, if not also often disappointing.
But in some cases, dating can become so disappointing, we fail to see any reason to continue trying to do it anymore.
One Redditor asked:
"Men who gave up on dating, what happened?"
Feeling Misunderstood
"The only thing lonelier than being alone is being with someone that doesn't understand you."
- Environmental-Low729
Breaking the Ice
"Dating apps suck. And people don't want to get to know each other on them; they want to be entertained."
"'Hello' and 'I see you like [subject]' are considered boring openers."
"And meeting people IRL (in real life) becomes difficult when you work nights and weekends."
- jackfaire
Nowhere to Meet People
"I mean, where do you even go to meet people? The only place I can think of is at the bar. And I don’t really wanna meet someone at the bar."
- SnooDoodles239
"Same, man. I go to the gym daily, the skatepark a lot, and coffee shops to work/draw. In every scenario, it seems like people just don’t want to be approached, either, so I don’t even try anymore."
"And I absolutely hate the idea of having to meet someone at a bar since I don’t even drink."
- EntOak
Third Wheel Vibes
"A lot of men are awful for only seeing women as a pair of t*ts and an @ss, but a lot of women only see men as a wallet. (To clarify, I'm speaking only about the people on the apps, although it might apply to the population in general somewhat.)"
- Smorgas_of_borg
"I made the mistake of downloading Tinder a few months back to get back into the dating game (I'm a lesbian)."
"At least half the profiles were women looking for a third for a threesome with their boyfriend (with no photographs of either, ever), a quarter are bi/pan poly women who have boyfriends and want something on the side (absolutely no shade at poly people, but 100% not for me), and the rest seems to be a charming mix of people for whom the most interesting thing they can say about themselves is that they watch TV series or smoke weed."
"It was the sort of thing I wouldn't be fussed with if I was still 19, but I'm getting too close to thirty for my liking and it's just kinda sad."
- medievals**t
Used to Being Single
"I just live the single life. I mean, I failed in the relationships I had a real chance with due to the myriad of mental issues I now work to manage. The issue is I am getting old and the dating pool just shrinks fast after a certain age, so now I just 'retired' from trying while working on keeping my mental problems from controlling my life."
"In a way, it is liberating. I don't have to try for anyone except myself, so anything I put real effort into is solely for my own enjoyment."
- TrixieLurker
"This is so true. After the last time I invested myself emotionally and it left me wrecked, I just came to the conclusion that I need to be satisfied with myself first. If I'm not happy with myself, I won't be happy with anyone. Or worse, I'd share my worst stuff with others."
- JackieMortez
A Shifting Landscape
"I took some time off to reconsider things after some bad relationships, and by the time I was interested again, the whole dating landscape had changed, and I find the whole thing exhausting. Toss in how the pandemic changed the ways people interact, switching jobs and lifestyles, and there just doesn't seem to be much opportunity for a man like me."
- BonnaroovianSky
Another Part-Time Job
"Dating is like taking on a part-time job. I don't have the time or the energy."
- LeiaBryce
"With very little reward for effort."
- No-Knowledge-8867
"And it costs you money instead of earning it."
- Thats_smurfed_up
Too Expensive
"Being a gay man, looking at the straight dating world sometimes is fascinating and weird."
"The expectation for the man to always pay for the date is such bulls**t, for one thing. I’m such a cheap [c-word], I’m sure I would never f**k anyone if I was straight, lol (laughing out loud). That makes me glad I’m not!"
- panasch
"As a married straight guy, I too look on with horror fascination! I can’t imagine dealing with some of this crap."
"That said, on our first date, I offered to pay, and my now wife said, 'Deal, but I’m paying for the next date.'"
- W0rk3rB
"That's wife material."
- Shazam1269
Mentally Unstimulating
"Every few months I think, 'Yeah, I'll give it a try again,' and pretty much within a week or so, I decide I can't be bothered spending my time having boring conversations."
- fork_that
"Once I started having offensive conversations on dates, I found my now-wife within a month."
"The Bob's Burgers speed dating approach seriously works. When you share the bad stuff that you would absolutely need a potential partner to be able to live with, it makes things a lot easier."
- High_Horse617
The Plain Truth
"No one was interested in me."
- sentientlob0069
"I feel this."
- well-dressed-dogs
Too Old For This
"I'm 38. I really want to date women who are my own age. I feel creepy going up to a 24-year-old. I should have been married 20 years ago with grandchildren right now."
"I want to find someone to try to salvage what life and potential I still have left to maybe build something, but godd**n do they have to make it d**n near impossible. That part of me is in ruins."
- Felarhin
Sacred Solo Time
"To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, I was tired of being with someone that robbed me of my solitude while denying me companionship."
- Blue8Delta
An Overwhelming List of Requirements
"I'm just tired. I feel like everyone I date has a laundry list of expectations for me. I just want to be seen as myself and not just 'a guy.'"
- Aggressive_Oil_565
"Have you ever noticed over the years that the list of expectations just keeps growing, and if you don't hit every point on the list, you're not worthy? Like, nine out of ten points doesn't count; it's all or nothing. It's just become so exhausting trying to meet these unrealistic expectations."
- CptGinyu8410
Ten Years' Experience and Advanced Degrees Required
"You know how you go look at job ads and you'll often see a bunch of postings for jobs that require master's degrees, an exhaustive interview process, and then always turn around and offer minimum wage?"
"That's kind of what dating feels like these days. I feel like there's a certain atmosphere of bitterness and low-level hostility between single people in their 30s. After years of effort with no reward, I've decided that I'm done."
- Felarhin
"These days, the dating job market wants you to have a Ph.D."
- MatthewGalloway
The Relationship to End Them All
"I was broken up with by the love of my life a little over a year ago, a relationship which I thought would last a lifetime."
"I don’t have the motivation anymore. I don’t really care about anything anymore, to be honest, lol (laughing out loud)."
- jonsbryhill
"Same here. I can't imagine even thinking of anyone else romantically. It would feel like cheating."
- bo-tvt
This list certainly makes the dating scene sound dismal, and it's really no wonder that some of these Redditors have given up on it for good.
But hopefully, someone will surprise them in the future, and they can happily be with someone without all the negatives features they've mentioned here.
