People In Long-Term Relationships Explain What Love Feels Like To Them Now

Longevity in relationships was more about necessity and no other choices than devotion. Now that divorce is easily accessible, longterm relationships are more likely to be a choice.

Reddit user wildpickledradish asked:

"Those of you in longterm (10+ years) relationships, what does love feel like after so many years?"

Blanketed

"It feels like being wrapped all around in a cozy, weightless blanket, that helps keep me warm and dry, day and night, in a very cold and stormy world."

"Together for 51 years and counting."

~ Story_Man_75

Home

"Like home."

~ A_Reddit_Recluse

"I've been in a few long-term relationships, and it wasn't until my wife that I truly felt this. I can't put my finger on what it is, but if one of us is sick (we stay in the spare room) or traveling, we spend the night apart, and it just feels off."

"I don't sleep as well, and I wake up to the smallest noise. It's wild to me."

~ Icekaged

Comfort

"42 years married: 3 children, 4 grandchildren later, and he’s a warm blanket, my mug of cocoa on a snowy day; my close, long hug on a stormy night. He’s my comfort and my safety in a dangerous world."

"And no: I didn’t need a 'piece of paper' or formal ceremony to get to this precious place with this treasure of a person."

"But that piece of paper (marriage cert.) means he is entitled—by law—to be by my side wherever I end up. No hospital, nursing home, living facility, or police officer can disabuse him of that place beside me, come what may."

~ Seated_WallFly

Partners

"My wife and I have been together for 11 years. Recently, we traveled to our home country and had to sleep in separate houses for a couple of days. She stayed with her parents, I stayed with my grandma."

"When we reunited, we hugged as if we had been apart for years. I missed her so much."

"You know when people say they want to be with a person for the rest of their lives? In my case, that's no exaggeration. I want to be with her for the rest of our lives. She is my partner in everything."

~ GladiusNocturno

Boring

"Boring. But do not take that as a negative. There’s minimal chaos and a calming sense to the relationship. They truly become your best friend, and it’s only of the best things."

"At some point when you are with someone for so long, you end up confusing peace for boring. Once you realize the 'boring' is truly you at peace, you understand that love is meant to be calm and peaceful."

"I struggled with this earlier in my relationship with my bf when we hit the 4-5 years mark, I had been in toxic relationships before. So I assumed love should be fast, chaotic and energetic."

"But it’s truly soft, calming and comfortable. It feels like when the sun hits your face and you get that “ah” feeling. Just a warm and fuzzy feeling."

~ Ok_Contribution_9747

Hearts Swell

"I came here to post how good it feels to have my wife in my life. We've been married 15 years. We may not be chasing each other through the house for amorous fun as much as we did."

"But sometimes, when I look at her, my heart grows three sizes bigger. I am on a business trip this week, and I think of her more times than I can count. She is just what I need."

~ jammaslide

Calm

"People always comment on how inlove my husband and I are and whenever people ask me about it - I always reply our life is boring. And people are often confused but boring is the greatest thing a marriage can be."

"I know what I’m coming home to every single day and what I’m waking up to; we’re a team; we respect each other immensely, and because of that, there’s no chaos."

"We often go on really fun trips around the world, and we have fun with each other all the time, but yeah, our home life - boring in the best way. I am grateful every day that I’m never waiting for the other shoe to drop."

~ HistoricalHeart

Friends

"I go on work trips every month or two for three days. I miss my husband. The longest we’ve been apart since we got married is one week."

"He is my best friend, and I genuinely enjoy being around him, as he does with me. So being apart feels like something big is missing!"

~ Spare_Hornet

Relief

"Comfort and relief."

"I'm 39, and I've been with my husband for almost 23 years. I see what other people go through dating and horrible spouses, and I thank God every day for an unproblematic husband. Sure, we argue and work at our marriage, but at his heart, he is a good person. I can trust his motivations."

~ justReading271000

Peace

"It feels like lounging on the couch on a cool fall morning, with a hot cup of coffee, fire gently crackling in the fireplace. You're wrapped up in the softest, oversized blanket, listening to the most soothing melodies. No plans. No to-do list. Just quiet comfort and peace."

"Then, from a distant room in the house, you hear the loudest fart ever recorded in the history of farts. You laugh your @ss off, still smiling when he comes to join you next to the fire."

~ BlackSwann0316

Cozy

"You know that feeling when it’s really cold and rainy outside on a Sunday and you have no obligations for the day and you get the fireplace going and make some tea or cocoa and put on one of your favorite movies and lie on the couch in your pjs with a big fuzzy blanket on top of you and a faithful pup by your side (or on your lap)? It’s like that, only better."

~ veek61

Free

"As an introvert who was adopted by an extrovert: It feels like I'm alone when I'm with her, by which I mean I feel comfortable and free and totally unjudged or measured. I feel like we have become each other, where I know what she is thinking or what she needs or what she's hoping for, and she knows the same for me."

"She's my partner. We fill each other's gaps and together we are more than ourselves separately.

"We have been married for almost 17 years, with three kids. Today is our oldest son's 16th birthday. I don't know what their future looks like, but we have three adolescent kids who still love each other and want to hang out with their parents. So we've done something right."

~ withgreatpower

Shared Misery

"Misery loves company. Not in a bad way. Met my wife in high school where we both were highly active in sports. We had a baby early, got married early. I joined the Army, she followed. We both did a bunch of crazy things, shared experience, shared broken bones and all the other fun of long careers."

"Got out, shared boring jobs, multiple kids and we let them live when they became obnoxious teenagers, shared the duty of cleaning the shotgun when our daughters dated. Now, both in our late sixties. We've done it all together, including being miserable on way too many occasions."

"Now, the misery is over. We're old, we're battered and broken, but we can still hold hands, watch movies, have quiet dinners, and cuddling has taken the place of wild romps in the woods or on the hood of our cars.

"And if we had to do it all over again...well we're older and wiser. We'd put a blanket on the hood of the Camaro rather than give her a** burns - and still do it all over again. 51 years together last May."

~ Owltiger2057

Familiar

"It's like your favorite worn-in hoodie—comfortable, familiar, but still something you reach for every day because it just fits. The butterflies might not be as constant, but they still show up in unexpected moments—watching them do something mundane like making coffee, or hearing them laugh at the same dumb joke for the 500th time."

"It’s less about fireworks and more about knowing someone’s rhythms so deeply that you can have entire conversations in glances. You’ve seen each other at your worst and choose each other anyway. The love doesn’t feel smaller—it just takes up space differently. Less frantic, more foundational. Like breathing."

"That said, it’s not autopilot. You still have to choose each other, annoyances and all. But when it works, it feels like coming home, even when you’re just sitting in silence scrolling on your phones."

~ sugarypeachdream

Easy

"My partner and I have been together for 14 years this May. It feels like the best, most dedicated, most truthful friendship I've ever had, with the added dimension of our romance."

"Longterm love ages in ways that you can't predict. You both change over time, you both grow and diminish in different ways, and it's neither linear nor is it always in the same direction as one another. Things happen that change your dynamic. You get sick, you get healthier, your friends come and go, you lose or gain family, etc. Nothing about it is easy or perfect, and the couples who pretend that it is are either delusional or liars."

"What should make it feel easy is the dedication you have to one another. The most beautiful and healthy component of a long-term relationship is the companionship itself. You live your lives together, intertwined, no matter what, because you choose to, because you want to and because you like to. Everything else is a negotiation, predicated on good communication and a well-understood definition of what the relationship is about."

~ Illustrious13

How would you describe long-term love?