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Redditors Explain Which Types Of People Get Treated With Less Sympathy Than They Deserve

Group of coworkers holding hands and showing support
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

CW: domestic violence.

People carry biases and false beliefs with them about a broad spectrum of things.

Unfortunately, some of those beliefs involve people, and those beliefs can limit or even hurt them.


Redditor anthropocener47 asked:

"What kind of people often get treated with less sympathy?"

"Just Lose Some Weight," They Say

"People who are overweight."

"There is this perception that all of my issues are because I am overweight."

- grumpydinosaur77

Male Survivors

"I'm a male who has been a victim of Domestic Violence, and let me tell you: People not only don't take you seriously, but they'll actually put you down."

"They'll talk s**t about you. They'll say you deserved it. They'll belittle you for getting beat up by a girl; god help you if you actually physically defended yourself in any situation where you were getting assaulted by a woman."

"The most I've ever done is restrain a woman when she was beating on me. And I've had people tell me that this was going 'too far' and that I should have just stood there and taken it. And I am NOT a little guy, which seems to make things worse."

"If you get your a** kicked, you're a b***h. If you defend yourself, you're the abuser. There's absolutely no winning in that situation."

"There is 100% no sympathy for male victims of domestic violence. It's sickening how uniformly society acts regarding this topic."

- ImPrblyWeird

Angry PTSD

"People who lose their temper when desperately trying to get people to understand that they have been abused."

"It’s actually a serious problem in courts that abuse victims look crazy and unstable because they do normal human things like express emotion and are often quite emotional and anxious after their abuse so they are perceived as untrustworthy, shifty, easily confused, erratic and liars."

"Meanwhile, their abuser is calm and collected and charming and comes off very well because why wouldn’t they, none of this affects them. They just lie and get away with it and are believed that they are the stable one and their victim is crazy and the real abuser."

- badgersprite

Those Seeking Self-Improvement

"People who made some bad choices in the past and are trying to better their lives."

- Ok_Win7358

The Bullied Kids

"Kids who are bullied."

"'Well, I didn’t see it happen.' No, because he did it when you weren’t looking. That’s the point."

- Pro_Gamer_Queen21

The Elderly

"As a kid, I visited my grandparents in assisted living facilities several times a week. These were dementia wards where no one knew who anyone was. No one knew where they were or why they were there."

"Easily 90% of the time, we were the only family there. No one visited their crazy parents because it was scary and depressing."

"It’s really fueled my wish to study dementia and work with people who have it. Often they have no one to look out for them."

- an_ineffable_plan

Smile More

"People that don't smile. My best friend is an absolute angel of a person but I've only seen him smile a few times over the last seven years. Traumatic events are a motherf**ker."

- rockonyou717

Chronically Ill

"Chronically ill and disabled people who don’t get 'better' after a few months (because that’s not how chronic illness or disability f**king works)."

- SolidChildhood5845

Themselves to Blame

"People with Lung Cancer or Type 2 Diabetes. The 'you did this to yourself' attitude."

- kategoad

An Unfair System

"People who stutter. People who are quiet. People with social anxiety. People who can’t speak English well. Men who don’t earn. Men who earn less. Women who can’t conceive. People with mental disabilities."

- Painkiller124

"People in 'unskilled' positions. Sure, a burger flipper or custodian doesn’t need a college degree, but unskilled does not equal not hard work."

"Having to prepare so much food in little time, deal with rude customers, and cleaning up stuff. The number of stories of people smearing poop on the walls. The stuff these people go through, people should feel sympathy."

- guzhogi

Mental Illness on the Job

"I have BPD (Bipolar Disorder) and have suffered from depression for over 20 years."

"I've been applying for jobs lately where it asks for disability declaration and specifically mentions mental illness and I still have a hard time selecting it for fear of not being believed or it costing me the job."

- Clayroo

Severe Anxiety

"I had a hard time sympathizing with people who suffer from severe anxiety. My attitude was always 'just deal with it, stress is temporary.'"

"Last summer there was a series of events that triggered unprecedented anxiety for me, I didn't eat for days at a time, barely slept, and could barely function at work. It was absolutely debilitating and felt completely uncontrollable."

"A week on vacation helped but it came back as soon as I got home. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed a few meds, which helped a lot."

"Now I understand that kind of crippling anxiety, and I'm a lot more sympathetic to those who struggle to manage it."

- EncanisUnbound

Invisible Illness

"I LOOK so incredibly healthy. But I'm not. I'm crippled for life, and I'm in pain from it until it kills me. I keep quiet about it, because I don't want attention on it and I don't like to waste my energy making noise about it."

"But some people who find out are very weird about it."

"I look like a cherub. A cute young girl, with rosy cheeks, a lil chubby, very short, with a baby face. And seemingly healthy as heck."

"In reality, I'm a grown woman who is crippled as f**k, in agony most days, has hidden open sores under my hair, and arthritis in every joint including my neck and spine."

"I'm on more medications than both your grandparents combined. We're probably on some of the same ones. And for some of the ones I'm on, their doctor would refuse to give them."

"I might not live very long. But I also might, hard to say."

"But those times I have to fight to be treated like a person really and truly suck. Because My pain makes other people feel uncomfortable."

- littlegingerfae

The Poor

"There's a real disdain towards poorer people like they should magically be able to make more money."

"For lots of people, they have disadvantages that make that more difficult, like a lack of education or support, lack of time, illness or disability, or even just being stuck in a neverending cycle and having to time/money/ability to get themselves out."

"For some others, they prioritize other parts of life over money, and there's nothing wrong with making that choice for yourself."

- cmc

The subReddit was left collectively shaking its head as the community thought about the various people who are often undervalued, underappreciated, and under-supported, simply because of who they are.

But the worst truth is that so many of these situations are unavoidable, like growing older or being ill. Even for those that could be corrected with time, like having more money, it would only make sense that supporting that person more would allow them to change their situation more quickly.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, help is available 24/7 at the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233. You can also find additional support and resources on their website: https://www.thehotline.org/

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