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Non-Religious People Share How They React When Someone Says They're 'Praying For Your Loss'
Everybody copes and grief differently.
A lot of people turn to faith and prayer.
But faith and prayer don't work for everybody.
It can be difficult to walk the line of consoling others.
It's all a process.
Redditor dammtaxes wanted to hear from people whose pain can't be healed with prayer, so they asked:
If you aren't religious, how do you feel when someone says they'll pray for your loss?
Being Kind
"I think it's nice. It's their way of saying they'll keep you in their thoughts. A little preachy in certain scenarios, but well-meaning most of the time."
- SecretlySaneSparrow
Be Kind Kindness GIF by The Cool To Be Kind Project Giphy
Thank You
"I’m an atheist, not an a**hole. I appreciate it, that’s their way of showing kindness."
- dabomb2012
"I might be both. I get awkward when someone says they'll pray for me. I don't know how to respond, so I usually just get quiet. It's the equivalent of them saying they'll plant a pear tree for me. I wouldn't say thank you for that, so it seems odd to thank someone for the equivalent, regardless of how much they really believe it will help me."
- Ailly84
Good Spirits
"I'd take it in the spirit it was intended."
- Icy-Parsley4770
"Usually, the spirit as intended is 'I'm just saying something nice,' which is totally fine."
"But at least with respect to people that I know personally, when they say that they are praying for you, they are just being kind. I don't think most of these actually ever pray. They don't go to church. They don't say grace. Some of them might do those religious rite-of-passage ceremonies with their kids, but most of them don't. So most of them don't actually pray."
"So words like that, I take them as they are. They don't bother me. They're basically synonymous with 'Sorry for your loss.' Not all of the time, but much of the time."
- dmomo
Useful
"I think prayers help the person who's praying more than anyone else. It makes them feel useful. I always just say thank you and leave it at that."
- GlitteringLock1020
"This is how I feel, too. My husband is sick, and my mom always says she prays for him. It brings her comfort, & that’s what she can do from hundreds of miles away, so I just say thank you."
- Deadbeat699
"Letting someone feel useful is a lovely gift to give, even if they're not the one hurting. Perhaps they'll repay that kindness in time."
- Sybirhin
All you can offer...
"I spent months in the hospital. Ultimately needed multiple organs transplanted."
"I'm in my fifties now. This happened 14 years ago. I'm the Youngest of seven. My mom was the youngest of seven, too. So lots of old French Canadian Catholics were in my life."
"I'm really not religious at all. But they couldn't do anything else. So they got their churches to pray for me. And sometimes, when I was alone in the hospital in another state, so far away from my family, it was a comfort. People were standing together in prayer and thinking about me."
"It did make me feel less alone, I guess. It certainly didn't hurt anyone or anything, so I just said thank you."
"I imagine that feeling of helplessness is even stronger when someone dies. Sometimes it's all they can offer."
- bird9066
Gestures
"The same as if someone said, 'I'll be thinking about you.' You can be an atheist and also appreciative of a kind gesture." - Bro720
Dog Thank You GIF by MOODMAN Giphy
Make it Better
"I guess I'm the odd one out because when my brother died, it annoyed the f**k out of me. I just wanted to tell them to shove their prayers up their a**. I felt like it was just something superficial to say, not at all meaningful. I wanted someone to actually talk to me and make me feel better, not just 'thoughts and prayers,' BS."
- GodsOnlySonIsDead
I'm Here
"It's a cop out. Either help someone who needs help, or move on with your day. 'We'll pray for you' is a CYA measure to keep up appearances, unless they're actually super devout. In that case, they may believe they're making a difference, which I guess is nice."
"It's an additional layer between the person and you. If they actually wanted to help, they could just say, 'I'm here if you need me,' or find out what they can do to help you get through what you're going through. But they don't, they say 'I'll keep you in my prayers,' and you're forced to play along and say 'thank you so much.' I hope you won't take this personally. I guess I just need to vent."
- Nelsqnwithacue
Be a Friend
"When one of my gay friends came out, a mutual 'friend' told him they'd pray for him."
I know it's supposed to be 'nice' that religious people pray for you, but I still feel that was the most passive-aggressive thing I've ever heard. As if they were saying, 'That's nice that you're going to hell. Good luck.'"
"F**king evil as far as I'm concerned."
- Sproketz
CODE
"Usually feel talked down to. Most of the time, in my experience, it's people saying that so they can feel good about themselves for doing nothing."
"You want to help them? Send over some food."
"Thoughts and prayers are code, to me, for 'I'm going to exploit the situation and use it to make it seem like I'm a good person.'"
- ballskindrapes
Back Off
"I'd rather they keep it to themselves. I don't need their lifestyle choices shoved in my face."
- LaszloPanaflexxx
"Same. As long as they sound like they mean it is a nice way, I'll say thanks, but I don't tell them I'd still prefer that they would not (which is true)."
- creatingmyselfasigo
Always Sunny Shut Up GIF Giphy
Meaningless
"I find it an inappropriate thing to say unless the person saying it knows the hearer is religious also. I have found prayer is meaningless except for the prayer's own benefit of spirituality or meditative qualities. 'Praying for you,' therefore, is meaningless to me and comes across as inappropriate. It makes me cringe and want to go there by pushing back against this idea that 'thoughts and prayers' are an acceptable response to someone else's suffering, trauma, etc."
- GreenIce2022
Light a Candle
"When my mother had cancer, some of my (Catholic) friends said they'd light a candle for her."
"I'm an atheist, my mother is agnostic (grew up protestant). My friends said something like I know it means nothing to you, but this is how I believe I can show my support. They were also generally supportive as great friends, but given this was Northern Ireland, having Catholics pray for my Protestant/agnostic mother and my atheist ass made me cry with how thoughtful it was (and apparently still does)."
- lalagromedontknow
BLOCKED
"Annoyed as f**k. Most people who would learn about my losses know I'm not a fan of religion, and if they'd tell me anyway, I'd probably cut them off. They know about church related trauma and still decide to involve religion in a conversation where it has ABSOLUTELY no reason to be? Blocked."
- weirdf**kup
Let's Pray
"If it’s a passing comment from them and then something they do in private, I thank them for their kindness. It’s just their way of wishing me comfort. The one person who pushed it on me after my Dad died and tried to get me to pray with them was asked to leave my house firmly but politely when they wouldn’t take no for an answer."
- _kits_
Go Away Reaction GIF by MOODMAN Giphy
Helping people in their time of need isn't always easy.
Sometimes the sentiment doesn't always count for most.
But here we are.
We must allow people to feel how they are going to feel.
That is the most human thing to do.
Believe, don't believe, pain is universal.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
Facts That May Sound Normal But Are Actually Mind-Blowing
When we write outlandish things, we wonder if people will judge us with trepidation.
"That can't happen."
"That's not real!"
Then you do a little research and find information that shows even crazier things have happened.
And ALL of it's more real than one could write.
Life is full of outlandish truths that oftentimes seem like science fiction.
Redditor Candy-Peach-Brooks wanted to talk about the facts of life, so they asked:
"What’s the most normal-sounding fact you know that is actually mind-blowing?"
Order Later
"Lobsters never stop growing."
- 7cozykisses
"This is why you should wait as long as possible before ordering lobster in a seafood restaurant."
- JimmyBallocks
illustration jeremy sengly GIF Giphy
Origins of Fire
"Lighters were invented before matches."
- corcaighnj
"Yes, and a tangential fact is that matches are 'safety matches' and their big innovation is largely completely ignored in modern times. The amazingness of matches is that they are explosive but contained in a 'safety' buffer that keeps them from spontaneously combusting, and only lighting when heat from the friction is applied."
- Reasonable_Reach_621
3 Languages
"The Belgium National Soccer team communicates in English because Belgians speak 3 languages: French, German & Dutch. Some players who speak French don’t understand the other languages, while some who speak the other languages don’t understand French. To make sure everyone understands, they conduct meetings and communicate in English. I think this is kind of cool."
- DudeBello
Heavy Puffs
"Clouds can weigh millions of pounds ☁️⚖️."
- z_crimsontease
"There was a radio trivia question years ago, 'the average one of these weighs 100,000 tons, ' and I immediately guessed cloud, and my coworkers all laughed at me, but I insisted that was it. People were calling in guessing for over an hour and getting it wrong, so the DJs started dropping hints, and all of them pointed at it being a cloud. Finally, one of my coworkers called in and handed me the phone, and I won a couple of concert tickets."
- Docrandall
YEE
"Rubber is named that because the gum of that tree was used as a pencil eraser. A thing you would physically rub... a rubber. That was the only use for that tree's sap at the time, so the gum just came to be called Rubber, and the tree it came from was a Rubber Tree."
"The color orange is named after the fruit. Before that, we literally called it redyellow."
"Nobody ever pronounced Ye Olde Inn as 'Yee.' Printing presses were manufactured in Europe and did not include the /th/ letter, known as thorn. So English typesetters used the character y in its place, since that had no use in English at the time. Ye Olde Inn was pronounced The Old Inn. That's where all of that comes from."
- desertravenwy
Connections...
"You exist because of an unbroken lineage dating back to the beginning of time itself. Every ancestor, every survival, every chance meeting, and every decision across countless generations has led to you."
- mufasas_son
Pass It On Falling In Love GIF by Barbara Pozzi Giphy
1985
"The song '1985' by Bowling For Soup mocks a hypothetical woman stuck in an ordinary life who can't mentally move on from the culture of the 80s. The song was released in 2004. As of last year, the song now more effectively mocks you, the listener, than the person in the lyrics."
- Zeruvi
FACTS
"Julie Andrews was a few years old when Amelia Earhart went missing."
"Orville Wright was still alive until Neil Armstrong graduated high school."
"Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln were born on the same day in the same year."
"Anne Frank and Martin Luther King also shared a birth year."
" Betty White was nine years old by the time Thomas Edison died."
- UnicornVoodooDoll
Lessons
"Not so much mind-blowing as sobering: adults are more likely to die from choking than kids are."
"The reason being that kids are more likely to be supervised than adults. Adults are more likely to be alone, either accidentally or intentionally."
"The lesson: don't run away to a bathroom if you're choking! And if you live alone, learn how to do the Heimlich on yourself, or get a device designed for it."
- Immortal_in_well
Makes Sense
"A squirrel will give you the bubonic plague long before rabies. They can't transmit it, and even if they could, anything that would give it to them would likely kill them in the process. Makes sense, but I always get weird looks for that one."
- Kitti-3939
"This actually can be useful. My son thinks squirrels are cute and was thinking about feeding one. 'Ummm, no, don’t mess with rabies.'"
- biffbobfred
Get Together
"The players at Gallaudet University invented the football huddle. It is a school for the deaf, so this way they could communicate in sign language without giving away anything to their opponents."
- UjustMe-4769
Huddle Regroup GIF Giphy
The Void
"The Solar System is part of the Milky Way galaxy. Billions of stars, thousands of other systems, all tumbling through the void of space. Moving around millions of other galaxies. And what are we in this expanse and understanding we call the universe? Humanity and our planet are a blemish on a speck of dust."
- FairNeedleworker9722
Over 200
"Statistically, only about 1 in a billion people (about 8 on the entire planet) have an IQ over 200 at any one time. This has remained stable for over a century. However, AI has gained 100 'IQ' points in the last decade or so. It will soon surpass human IQ scores, and we have no way of retraining our brains to catch ourselves up to it."
- SageLeaf1
Off a Cliff
"The populations of many of the world’s countries are ageing. That means older populations such as 40-65 are growing rapidly, and 65 and above, but the birth rate is dropping off a cliff. This is true for countries such as America, European countries, and Japan. It is predicted that by 2100, only a handful of countries will have exponential growth (meaning enough births to replace deaths and then enough on top of that to sustain growth)."
- Careful-Button-606
Endless
"There are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on all the beaches on Earth."
- SparkleSwish
Outer Space GIF by BBC Giphy
A Blob
"Cone Snails aren’t sentient; they’re nothing more than just a blob of flesh moving around, with no sense of purpose or self-being."
- Not_A_Rage_Baiter
"I worked with someone like that."
- cant_think_of_one_
I've always been leery of squirrels.
They give off a shady aura.
Now I know that they carry plague, I'll run away faster.
What is a cone snail?
Who made this up?
This is a lot of info to absorb at once.
Maybe some of us could end up on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"
All knowledge is useful if utilized correctly.
Joe Biden's Emotional Bell Ring
“And to the American people: Keep the hope alive. There is hope. There is hope. And I'm confident—absolutely confident—if we make all our effort to deal with it, we can make fundamental changes in people's lives.”
Now, the country is rallying around him as he faces his own cancer battle.
According to his spokesperson, former President Biden, 82, recently completed several weeks of radiation therapy at Penn Medicine in Philadelphia to treat an aggressive form of prostate cancer that had spread to his bones. The spokesperson told NewsNation that Biden is “doing well.”
Biden was first diagnosed in May, when doctors found a “small nodule” on his prostate during a routine exam. Further testing showed the cancer had spread to his bones. His office described the disease as “characterized by a Gleason score of 9 (Grade Group 5) with metastasis to the bone” and noted it appeared “hormone-sensitive,” which allows for targeted treatment.
In an interview with CNN earlier this year, Biden expressed optimism about his prognosis:
“The expectation is we’re going to be able to beat this. It’s not in any organ, it’s in—my bones are strong, it hadn’t penetrated. So, I’m feeling good.”
At the time, experts told NBC News that such cases account for roughly 8 percent of prostate cancer diagnoses, describing it as uncommon but not unheard of.
This week, his daughter Ashley Biden shared a touching milestone: a video of her father ringing the ceremonial bell at Penn Medicine Radiation Oncology, a tradition marking the completion of a major phase of treatment.
Ashley captioned the video:
“Rung the Bell! Thank you to the incredible doctors, nurses, and staff at Penn Medicine. We are so grateful!”
You can see the video below:
She later added in another Instagram story:
“Dad has been so damn brave throughout his treatment. Grateful.”
And honestly, we’re all feeling that same gratitude right along with her.
@ashleyblazerbiden/Instagram
A spokesperson for Biden confirmed earlier this month that he was undergoing “radiation therapy and hormone treatment,” which was expected to last five weeks. Separately, Biden underwent Mohs surgery last month to remove skin cancer lesions from his forehead, his second such procedure this year. He was briefly seen in public wearing a bandage after the treatment.
Prostate cancer is the second most common cancer in men, affecting roughly one in eight men in the United States, according to the American Cancer Society. While about one in 44 men will die from the disease, most do not, particularly when it’s detected early and managed through modern therapies.
For the man who made curing cancer a national mission, his recovery now stands as both a deeply personal and profoundly public battle—one that embodies the very hope he’s spent his life inspiring in others.
Ashley Biden’s post was quickly flooded with support and emotional messages as users praised her father’s resilience and shared their own stories of loved ones battling cancer.
Progress in cancer research and treatment has still faced political challenges. During the second Trump administration, there were proposals to drastically cut federal funding for cancer research, including a nearly $1 billion reduction for the National Cancer Institute, along with broader freezes and cuts to research grants at the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
Scientists warned that these actions could slow the development of new therapies and hinder the nation’s fight against cancer.
A spokesperson for the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) defended the decision to end certain grants as an effort to:
“[E]nsure that taxpayer dollars support programs rooted in evidence-based practices and gold-standard science — not driven by divisive DEI mandates or gender ideology.”
The proposed cuts stood in stark contrast to Biden’s Cancer Moonshot initiative, which aimed to double the pace of cancer research progress and earned bipartisan praise when first launched in 2016.
Biden introduced the Moonshot while serving as vice president under Barack Obama, with a mission to accelerate research and improve data sharing across institutions. He revived the initiative in 2022 as president, pledging to “end cancer as we know it.”
Despite his health challenges, Biden remains active. He is expected to speak in Boston on Sunday, where he will receive a lifetime achievement award at the Edward M. Kennedy Institute, and will headline a Nebraska Democratic Party event in Omaha next month.
And for many Americans who’ve watched him champion cancer research for decades, seeing Biden continue to fight—and still show up—feels like proof that hope really does endure.