Life has a way of bringing people together in the most unlikely of ways.
You know how it goes: one minute you're just an average gay man at Christmas mass minding your business...
...and the next minute who should you find sitting next to you but your ex-boyfriend, his wife and their kids.
Sounds far-fetched right?
But it's exactly what happened to a certain UK Twitter gent, Dan aka @dxnielandrew_, this Christmas.
Just been to midnight mass with my mum and next to me was a man I hooked up with last summer....and next to him was… https://t.co/dm4JMSiazI— Dan (@Dan) 1577233058.0
Imagine you're just minding your own business, accompanying your dear old mum to Christmas mass and there beside you is one of your hook-ups and his very straight family.
Except that's not what actually happened here at all. This was no mere one-night stand.
Dan and his married former paramour were actually together for a while.
Merry Christmas, then.
"Went to the pub after mass to meet my dad and family and WOULD YOU GUESS WHO I'M EXCHANGING LOOKS WITH AT THE BAR SOMEONE KILL ME"
Now if you were to venture a guess what happened next, would your money be on the ex-boyfriend either fleeing or confronting Dan in the bathroom or something?
Oops, you lose.
A. CHRISTMAS. MIRACLE. https://t.co/DOZ5OIqY2s— Dan (@Dan) 1577236323.0
Thankfully, it ended there.
It did not end there at all.
The dude kept DM'ing Dan sexual innuendos and Dan kept posting them to Twitter. And then the ex-boyfriend found out Dan was posting it all to Twitter and freaked the eff out.
As one does.
Yes. Yes I will. https://t.co/B1RlpsjWBg— Dan (@Dan) 1577280843.0
And when Dan stopped responding, he freaked out even more.
#hellopleasereply https://t.co/g8VfF2lE47— Dan (@Dan) 1577277433.0
And then #hellopleasereply pretty much immediately went viral.
So how did this all end?
Well, it turned out that Dan's ex had a perfectly good explanation for this Yuletide mishap.
I. FORGOT. I. FORGOT. https://t.co/wVyJWgRv34— Dan (@Dan) 1577287568.0
And, naturally because this is the internet, the ex-boyfriend ended the conversation by calling Dan some ugly names.
But Dan got the last word.
15 minutes is still 14 minutes longer than you lasted xx https://t.co/nxhtTlFnEb— Dan (@Dan) 1577293843.0
As you might guess, for bystanders on Twitter Dan's unfortunate shi*show was nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
Eat your heart out Charles Dickens, THIS is a Christmas story. (If you've had enough heartwarming festive Twitter p… https://t.co/vFpQuAz1kT— Nat Luurtsema (@Nat Luurtsema) 1577394895.0
This whole thread may be the most amazing thing I've ever seen on Al Gore's internet. A true Christmas miracle. h/… https://t.co/Cu5GdJYB6G— kp (@kp) 1577373949.0
Merry Christmas to this thread and this thread only https://t.co/Nco6ea4Q1w— Luke Twomey (@Luke Twomey) 1577272103.0
@dxnielandrew_ This is my new favourite Christmas carol.— 99% M&S Christmas Biscuits (@99% M&S Christmas Biscuits) 1577270101.0
We, a bunch of LGBT friends together for Christmas, just sat around reacting as a friend read us each tweet in this… https://t.co/Lu0pRfnvlN— Elainovision (@Elainovision) 1577301169.0
This is wild and messy, and I can't lie - I'm loving the mess! #hellopleasereply https://t.co/8bQEKkd0aa— THIS IS A BAD 🇯🇲 (@THIS IS A BAD 🇯🇲) 1577342872.0
@dxnielandrew_ You have alleviated my holiday malaise. Thank you. #hellopleasereply https://t.co/HXT0mlPgSc— Robusta Capp (@Robusta Capp) 1577297702.0
@dxnielandrew_ From now on I will revere this as the Real Christmas Story and will tell it every year round the fire 🤣— NiklausVogel (@NiklausVogel) 1577272402.0
@dxnielandrew_ This thread was a rollercoaster and I'm obsessed.— Alex (@Alex) 1577293334.0
@dxnielandrew_ this thread > the birth of jesus— Jake (@Jake) 1577308413.0
Who says the internet can't be a force for good?
God bless us, every one!