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The Funniest Ways People Thought Babies Were Made As A Kid

A couple lies in bed with a baby between them
Image by Stephanie Pratt

"Reddit user DramaticChoice4 asked: 'How did you use to think babies were made?'"

Where do babies come from?

One of life's greatest mysteries.

Or one of life's most solid truths.

But when we're young, we don't know all of the details.

But that doesn't mean there aren't questions.

Oh, the number of questions and curiosities.


Redditor DramaticChoice4 wanted to discuss the stork's journey, so they asked:

"How did you use to think babies were made?"

So Random

Im Pregnant Mama Said GIF by OriginalsGiphy

"I thought it was like an illness, you just randomly come down with pregnancy once you're married."

cb1216

The Egg

"My friends and I had a pretty solid worldview on this A man down the street from us was rumored to have 1 testicle. This man also had 1 kid So, we deduced that when you want to have kids, the man fires a testicle into the woman, and that testicle acted as 'the egg.'"

"We realized that this would be painful for the man, but that it would also make it 'fair' since we figured that giving birth must be painful as well We couldn't figure out why some families had more than 2 kids, but that was a problem for another day."

sneekeemonkee

Home Invasion

"I thought they would just appear. Like they spawned somewhere in the house."

"No, they had to love each other very much and concentrate on that for it to happen. At least that’s the explanation I had given myself as a small child."

"Then I learned that women get pregnant, but in the dialect of the region around Venezia (Italy) where I grew up, it is common to say 'I’m buying a baby' when you’re pregnant. So I thought there was an actual place you went to purchase pregnancy... lol."

millennium-popsicle

Hold Me

"Through cuddling. My parents had me watch a movie about the facts of life. It showed a man and a woman cuddling on the couch in one scene, and then in the next, the narrator was talking about how an egg is fertilized. So, the implication was that this happened via cuddling."

Old_Army90

Born That Way

Music Video Mv GIF by Lady GagaGiphy

"I don't know. I used to think that my parents were born as parents and I was born as a child, so for 2-3 years I thought that I wasn’t going to age and so my parents."

ChemicalAd1157

Kids. We were so innocent at one time.

Born that way. Cute thought.

Delivery

"Babies are made at a baby factory."

Kotopause

"And delivered by a giant bird. Dumbo (1941) messed me up in so many ways."

MadOrange64

Saliva

"I knew that kissing was involved. I also knew that sperm was involved after watching 'Look Who’s Talking' with my parents (I think there’s a scene showing the sperm traveling to the egg while talking to each other). So my 7-year-old brain assumed that somehow sperm was transferred through the saliva while kissing."

Djent_Reznor1

The Seed

"My mom explained to me that she and my dad helped God make me. So I imagined them traveling to heaven and picking out parts like it was a build-a-bear or something. So then I was very confused when I asked my mom what heaven was like and she said she had never been. I was like, I knew it... I'm adopted."

"I explained to my children (7, 6 & 4) when I was having our 4th last year that mommies have eggs in their bellies, and daddies have a seed. And then the daddy puts the seed in the belly, it goes into the egg and the baby starts growing. They asked how the seed gets in the belly and I told them I would tell them when they are older. I'm pretty sure they think it goes in through the belly button."

spidermom4

Good Faith

Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy

"My parents told me that you just had to pray for one and you can be pregnant the next day."

asn-grl

"My mom's friend thought the opposite, she would pray every night not to get pregnant because she thought that she could just get preggers randomly."

HumanHuman_2003

Prayer can only do so much.

But I'm not going to get into that aspect if it all.

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