Alright folks, look.
We are in the middle of a global pandemic.
People are dying—not just dying but dying slowly and painfully.
Hospitals have run out of space and equipment. In some places bodies are piling up because they cannot be collected and properly buried, cremated or otherwise processed fast enough.
We have the opportunity to stop (or at least minimize) all of that by just ... staying home.
That's it.
That's all we have to do. Stay home unless it is absolutely vital that we leave.
Nobody has to go on an impossible mission to fire on the Death Star. We don't need to have another Live Aid or Band Aid or Kool Aid or whatever-aid.
Artists don't have to draw human hands that they actually like. The solution is very possible.
We just chill at home, talk to our internet friends for a few weeks and only leave the house if it's for something essential.
That's it.
And somehow we are managing to screw that up; mostly because people aren't taking it seriously and/or have no idea what "essential" actually means.
We promise, from the bottom of our collective hearts, that getting your hair and nails done is not essential in the wake of some seriously more pressing world issues. Someone ought to tell that to Fox & Friends host Ainsley Earhardt.
On a recent episode, Ainsley went on a little tangent that Twitter is not about to let her forget.
While the rest of the world is talking about overwhelmed medical staff, the terrifying number of doctors and nurses who are getting sick and dying themselves and how we as a global community can learn from one another to fight this, Ainsley derailed a conversation on her show to talk about returning clothes and root touchups.
Weirdly, she kept reiterating about how it's not a priority while making sure to continue talking about it.
That Tweet doesn't quite cover it all, so here is her train of thought written out.
"I was thinking, we all - I - live in the city. You can't go back to the city. You can, but I don't want to 'cause I don't want to be around the area that's infected the most, but I'm thinking like ... all the bills that are stacking up at my apartment. Y'know, you've got to think about that kind of thing. If you bought clothing before all of this happened if you want to return it, are stores gonna waive that 30 day period where you can get your money back if you need to return something? These are all the things - people are staying home. Women, I mean y'all don't think about this, guys, this is not a priority, but women have to get their hair done. I saw someone tweet out 'You're gonna see what color our real hair is 'cause our roots are gonna grow out.' All my friends are saying, this is not a priority people are dying and I realize that, but they can't get their nails done. Y'know businesses are closed everywhere. We are in priority mode right now. It is pharmacies and grocery stores, those are really the only places people are going now. Steve."
Have you ever heard someone say something so vexxing and out of touch that your sudden concern for humanity causes your soul to pull a Leslie Jones? Just ...
staring leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
That's pretty much what happened to Twitter.
And, we imagine, to Steve who Ainsley just tried to throw the segment to like she didn't just sit there lamenting about when her servants would be back on duty.
Stay home.
Let your roots show. Let your nails grow out or chip.
If you get the urge to cut your own bangs, though—that might be a good time to phone a friend or start a Netflix binge. Just sayin'.
If you want an appropriate response to Fox & Friends, this shirt is available here.
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