A mother and TikTok content creator who goes by the names Ren and Serenity (@renwithoutcontext) on the platform posted a video about something that happened during her ex's custody time with their minor child. The post, which currently has over 2.1 million views and over 66,000 comments, started a spirited debate over coparenting rules and boundaries.
In the initial TikTok, Ren stated she (air quotes) coparents with their ex, but that he'd given his daughter and his fiancée permission to dye the child's hair purple without Ren's prior knowledge or consent. She added she had been nice, but won't be any longer.
Ren posted her video captioned:
"just bamboozled at this point TIKTOK HAIR STYLISTS PLS HELP"
An AI-generated description in the caption explained:
"I’m bamboozled and looking for help after my ex dyed [our daughter's] hair without my permission."
You can watch her video here:
In her TikTok, she shared that her ex's "girlfriend" dyed the under layer of their daughter's naturally red/ginger hair. Prior to this, they had never dyed or cut it.
Ren didn't specify if the dye was permanent or temporary that would eventually wash out, nor if the child's hair was bleached before the dye was applied.
She also didn't share the child's age or any prior discussions with her ex about the child's hair or feedback from the child's father after she found out it was dyed, focusing primarily on his "girlfriend" who did the dyeing. She also complained in another video that her ex's "girlfriend" got a tattoo with her daughter's name.
Ren did add that her stated rule to her daughter was:
"You must not touch your hair until you are 18."
Ren added another TikTok showing their child's hair.
Even based on the limited details, reactions were mixed.
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But several redheads spoke out about their own unpleasant childhood experiences with parents that made special rules for them just because of their rare hair color.
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The child's father and his fiancée, not girlfriend, responded in a TikTok video of their own.
According to them, the child is 4 years-old; the coloring was from a conditioner, not dye; the father, not the fiancée did the coloring; and Ren has a history of saying no to everything they ask about, leaving the daughter left out of things they do with and for the fiancée's own 4-year-old son.
TikTok sleuth Dior Becca put together a breakdown of the lowdown, sharing video clips from both sides.
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You can watch Dior Becca's synopsis here:
The added details changed a lot of people's minds.
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Ignoring all the drama, one person gave Ren some well-measured advice.
Coparenting isn't a competition, children aren't weapons, and family court doesn't care about petty squabbles.
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So, what do you think?
What decisions require agreement from both parents? Does one parent always have veto power even during noncustodial time with their child? Would this be viewed differently if the mother used hair coloring and the father said no?
Sound off in the comments.
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