Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults

People Divulge Their Go-To Signature Insults
Photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash

I love a good war of words. There should be a game show based on how everyone cuts the deepest and with style.

Can you imagine winning a million dollars for telling someone off?

I could die satisified.

The perfect way to use language in an insult has become an art form.

Especially when people who deserve a good tongue lashing can't tell they're being rightfully taken to task.

Redditor da-noob-man wanted to hear all the best verbal slings we love throwing. They asked:

"What is your signature insult?"

I've deserved several good insults thrown at me. I can be a bit a tantrum starter. And then I write down what I'm hit with and use on others.

Brainstorm

Mrw GIFGiphy

"You only have two brain-cells, and they're both scrambling for third place." ~ Iloathwinter

"This reminds me of: 'you have two brain cells, one to keep a balance while walking and another not to poop on the floor.'" ~ L33K0R

Impossible...

"It’s impossible to underestimate you." ~ FourYearBeard

"Those who deserve this probably won't get it." ~ jennybella

"I'm so gonna use that." ~ AbaloneMore603

Say Sorry

"Go apologize to the trees for wasting the air they make for you." ~ abspencer22

"Drill sergeant in basic training made a guy apologize to all the trees for wasting their air. About 30 min of him running around yelling 'I'm sorry tree.'" ~ BjagzTTV

"I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face." ~ abspencer22

Kill It...

"You are a really good trier." ~ Roadkill_Bingo

"My wife tells me this... we were at a wedding last night and I thought I was killing it. We get back of the floor and sit at the table and I go..."

"I'm really feeling it tonight, I'm not a bad dancer..."

"She says..."

"Oh, hun...you're really good at trying."

"F**k... I love her." ~ KamikazeFox_

Envy

The Shade GIF by PepsiGiphy

"I miss the time when I didn’t know you." ~ 221B_OO7

"Or, you can also say, I envy everyone who doesn’t know you." ~ dr4gonr1der

Ok, now, some of y'all are artists. Artists of the insult.

Fido Lerwks...

Dog GIF by ViralHogGiphy

"If my dog looked like you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards." ~ jackatman

Good Days

“I hope you have the day you deserve.” ~ bigysmals

"This reminds me of what my grandmother would say to rude people, 'Well honey, I sure hope your day gets better.'" ~ milesunderground

“I hope you spend the rest of your life surrounded by people just like you.” ~ rawysocki

Bad Basics

"Wow, your signature looks like s**t." ~ whywasthatagoodidea

"I can't read or write cursive because i transferred schools before my past school taught it but after the other one had I still haven't learned it because I haven't found a need for it yet." ~ jershdahersh

The Great Battle

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person." ~ Bizzlebanger

"It's is easy to win an argument with a smart person but impossible to win an argument with an idiot, henceforth I withdraw from this debate." ~ Grim75

"My favorite response to this one: then stop looking into the mirror." ~ blueavole

Ouch

"You are not being the person that Mr. Rogers knew you can be." ~ IronChariots

"Damn that’s heavy, Ken. Especially since we always knew he loved us just the way we are, had our backs, but knew we could be so much more." ~ I_Call_Everyone_Ken

It's Me

Liar Liar Movie GIFGiphy

"I wish I was dumber so I could understand you." ~ OptimalF**kage

These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...

Relations

"Are your parents related or something?" ~ screwplease

"I said this to a kid when I worked in a toy store. His friend said 'is that what makes it so you can’t stop bleeding' and oh my God I made a mistake." ~ a**inyourpants

IQ Stat

"You have a room temperature IQ 'is pretty good.'" ~ BustyOgre

"I sure hope the speed limit is lower than your IQ, but I’m not holding out hope." ~ Patchy-Paladin20

PERFECT

"I hope you will have as pleasant a day as you are. Yes, I work in customer service." ~ Arazos93

"This. Is. Perfect. I'm gonna try to translate this to my own language and use it." ~ TheBirdGames

Crayola

girl GIFGiphy

"I have nether the time nor the crayons to explain it to you." ~ crazy-jay1999

"When someone is giving a difficult time understanding notes I’m making for them, I like 'I’d use a crayon but I’m afraid you’d eat it.'" ~ Eljaynine

The Dance

"My expectations of your intelligence were low but damn, here you are, limbo dancing with the devil." ~ SwiftRoboWolfBlue

"Your version missed an important part of the joke. I believe the original quote is: 'The bar was so low it was a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.'" ~ MediocreHumanThing

Drop It

"You look like you drop common loot." ~ Ih8Evrythng

"Seriously underrated, that would speak volumes to any gaming community." ~ ExternalSad8524

Lead

"You have the personality of a pencil." ~ atomicrutabaga

"Maybe it’s the designer in me but i feel you could get really personal with this one. 'You have the personality of a 9b Pencil.' For someone really boring and really f**king wet behind the ears." ~ palov43075

GAS!

fart GIF by happydogGiphy

"I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!" ~ Mr_DuCe

So Low...

"When I'm in a place where I cant properly insult someone I call them an ankle, as in you're a proper ankle, it seems harmless but an ankle is lower than a c**t." ~ irishtemp

I just spit out my coffee. This has to be a game show. Y'all crazy.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshot of Donald Trump; Changpeng Zhao
60 Minutes; Horacio Villalobos/Corbis/Getty Images

Trump Ripped For Hypocrisy After Claiming He 'Doesn't Know' Who Crypto Founder He Just Pardoned Is

President Donald Trump was criticized after he claimed during a sit-down interview with 60 Minutes correspondent Norah O'Donnell that he doesn't know who Binance cryptocurrency exchange founder Changpeng Zhao is despite pardoning him less than two weeks ago.

In 2023, Zhao pleaded guilty to violating anti–money laundering laws after Binance allegedly failed to report suspicious transactions involving groups such as Hamas and al-Qaida. He later apologized, paid a $50 million fine, and served nearly four months in prison before being pardoned by Trump.

Keep ReadingShow less
Split screen of a woman with a stern reaction and a man with a shocked expression.
@vanessa_p_44/TikTok

Guy Has Priceless Reaction To Learning His Mom Named Him After 'South Park' Character—And We're Obsessed

When it comes time for parents to name their soon-to-be-born child, they often cast a wide net looking for inspiration.

Many will name their child after a beloved friend or family member, while others might choose a name from a classic film, novel, or television series.

Keep ReadingShow less
Gavin Newsom
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Gavin Newsom Expertly Trolls Trump Administration With Parody Spirit Halloween Costume Memes

California Governor Gavin Newsom had social media users cackling after he, in a series of photos on X, mocked Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, and Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. with photoshopped meme versions of Spirit Halloween costumes.

Noem, who has led the nationwide immigration crackdown that continues to tear apart families around the country, is the "Border Barbie" of one meme that pokes fun at her for shooting her dog, her penchant for bringing camera crews wherever she goes, and the way South Park writers lampooned her in one of its most widely-seen episodes this year.

Keep ReadingShow less
Robin Williams and Ethan Hawke
Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

Ethan Hawke Shares Important Lesson He Learned From Robin Williams On Set Of 'Dead Poets Society'

Actor Ethan Hawke has become a Hollywood legend in his own right, but his career started with being a child actor learning from the greats, like Robin Williams.

The two co-starred in Dead Poets Society, one of the greatest films of the 1980s. It was a breakout role for Hawke and one that solidified Williams as a dramatic actor after a career mostly focused on comedy.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump; Screenshot of California's statement
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images; cdss.ca.gov

Blue States Are Taking A Page Out Of Trump's Playbook With Alerts About SNAP Benefits

President Donald Trump and his administration are facing criticism as blue states post alerts about the loss of Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits as a result of the Trump administration's failure to spend contingency funds to feed people on the program, a decision that is resulting in a nationwide hunger crisis impacting millions of families.

State officials have announced plans to inform visitors that if they’re alarmed by the pause in SNAP benefits beginning November 1 due to the shutdown, they should direct their frustration at the Republican Party.

Keep ReadingShow less