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People Describe The Biggest Differences Between Having Sex In Your 20s And 30s

A woman holds a bare chested man

Every decade we learn and grow.

Well, we hope we do.

Everything changes with the passing of time.

Sex is especially fluid.

They say the older you get the better it gets.

I'm not sure for myself, but it sounds like it's working out for a lot of other people.

20s are full of verve and energy.

30s are full of bitterness and regret from the sex in the 20s.

Though that can be hot too.


Redditor Infinite_Werewolf395 wanted to hear about how things can change over the course of a decade when it comes to sexy time, so they asked:

"What is the biggest difference between sex in your 20s and sex in your 30s?"

I guess I was maybe little more confident in my 30s.

That was a plus.

Never Settle

"I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want and say what feels good to me and what doesn't. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys."

"Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex."

mynamecouldbesam

Continue

"20s: It didn't really take a lot to get me going, just 1. being in my bed, and 2. being mostly nude was enough."

"30s: I really need them to be into it, too. Like... if they act like they're only doing this to make me happy, I pick up on it and I just can't continue. I also need them to like, show some interest in me too, or it takes some monumental effort to be in the mood. I'm more particular, and more aware of what the other party is doing and how they're reacting, etc."

We1tfunk

Real Struggle

"The amount of time you have available."

frenix5

"Not necessarily. In general, life just gets busy. My husband and I are in our 30s with no kids and still find this a struggle. Life just gets busier the older you get. We have to work hard on prioritizing our relationship."

TheSilentBaker

"There’s a hell of a lot more planning involved. Gotta schedule that crap out in advance."

KosstAmojan

Learning

"I'm 35 dating a 27 yr old. I tried the pills and all kinds of different things. Eventually, we had this one time where I was really Into it (never happens anymore really. Can't keep it up so it's hard to comply when it's initiated cause I know it'll just end in disappointment for both of us) and It was the best sex we'd had in years."

"I'm still not sure what factors were different that day but I honestly think it was probably mostly emotional reinforcement. Usually, she just starts grabbing at me and there's no romance so it's hard to get... hard. I think that day we actually did some foreplay. Anyways this has really helped me a lot reading all the responses. I figured I was just freakin' cursed. Never got much action in my prime."

"It just seemed appropriate that when I was finally getting some my sh*t would stop working lol. Good to know that I'm not the only man who puts importance on the emotional component of sex. Thought that was my problem for a while too. Guess I just have emotional needs that aren't being met and it's bleeding into other facets of my life."

MurphNastyFlex

Still Hot

So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy

"Sex in the 30s are about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things."

probablyurprofessor

I didn't find this to be true.

That's me though.

The Process

Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Sex got better. I finally figured out what my wife likes. Though a long tedious trial and error process."

SaiyanGodKing

Ruts

"Exploration is difficult once you’ve fallen into a rut. Routines become commonplace. I’m such a sub these days that I don’t mind bad sex for me as long as I can make my partner climax. It’s easy to tell with men, but with women partners I'm always afraid they’re faking or acting, so there definitely needs to be established trust first."

pissoff1818

Decades of Learning

"Teens: did it like a nympho, but sex was mediocre. 20's: did it like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30's: started figuring out what I wanted. Did it a little less, but better quality. 40's: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before."

"(Edited to add: had kids in late 20's, early 30's. Kids consume so much time and energy. Kids are getting older now, so more time and energy for sex again. Honestly sex in 40's has been the freakiest, wildest, most fulfilling yet)."

ChristyCurious

Let's Sleep

"20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex!"

"30s: sex? Hmmm okay but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep but also we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! F**k it who cares wait what was that oh one of the kids is at the door."

Hopeful_Jello_7894

Perfection

"Oh man, it's so much better in my 30s than it's ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before."

Leebollomew

Learning and Growth

Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy

"I’ve got something I haven’t seen yet..."

"20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts."

30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest."

Slappyhandz

A decade can really change everything.

Farewell youth.