oh-myyy-ribbon

It's important to own one's truth. Say what you and mean it. And let everybody around you know it loud. When one is right, it bares no repeating!

Redditor u/Lost3991 wanted to know who doesn't have a problem standing in their truths, by asking.... Redditors, what was your "Did I stutter?" moment?

Be Prepared....

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Vehicle Inspector here....

"Sir, your back right tail is broken, you need to get that fixed and come back."

"I'm friends with the owner here and you're telling me that my car has a problem?"

"I already have, if you aren't prepared in the future, don't waste my time." Agent_Xhiro

Cut it Off!

When I finally kicked my ex out of my life. She tried to argue us back into being together... as I drove her to the airport, and even had the audacity to critique my arguing techniques as not conducive to resolving a fight.

I cut her off and said, "what part of this are you not getting? We're way past that...this is not a fight I need to work through with you. I'm taking you to the airport, and I never want to see or hear from you again." onebatch_twobatch

Ring the Bell....

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Had a door to door salesman ring the door bell. I was nice and opened the door and stepped outside onto the step (dogs were going bananas). I let him tell me what he was selling and then politely told him I wasn't interested. Went to open the screen door to go in and he put his arm out to stop it from opening. I have resting B face normally, so I guess the look on my face was enough, but I was instantly livid with him. tacitta

Moments in Life. 

My mom came to my place and, out of reflex, she called me a whore like she did when I was living with her as a teenager. I told her to get out. There was this amazing moment where she was completely disoriented by my reaction. It didn't compute so I told her again, it's time for you to go, please leave.

It was one of the most important moments in my life. jdwright1989

March 31st!!

When I quit my last job due to a promotion. I let my current boss know I accepted the promotion, and gave him three weeks notice and that my last day was March 31st. He proceeded to tell me that we would discuss a time when he would allow me to leave, and I wasn't allowed to leave until he said so. I very firmly repeated myself that March 31st would be my last day, and it was not negotiable. He was the worst person I've ever worked with in my career.boopydooploop

Woohoo!!

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Caught my girlfriend cheating and kicked her out. Went out on the patio for a smoke (I've since quit, woohoo!) and she followed me out asking me to at least give her a few from the pack. idjehcirjdkdnsiiskak

Happy Birthday! 

My ex continued to text me like normal everyday 2 weeks past the break up she initiated. Eventually I ended up telling her "look, you don't wanna date, you don't wanna be friends, I'm not gonna keep making small talk to make you feel better." A week later she STILL texted me to wish me a happy birthday. The break up according to her was because I couldn't "read the room" well. Jesus. RollinDeepWithData

Worked in a gas station and two guys walked in and kept looking where all the workers were. I kept an eye on them cause they looked shady, then I see one of the guys put a pack of sausages in his pocket and then come to the till to buy a red bull.

I See Your Sausage Sir. 

I made my co-worker (also my sister) move so I could serve them and when I scanned the red bull I said in the most casual way I could, with my heart nearly ripping out of my chest (I'm not a confrontational person), "do you wanna pay for the sausages you put in your pocket, too?" and the look on his face was priceless, I had to repeat myself and he just mumbles a "sorry" and paid for the sausages.

After they left my co-worker lost it, said how taken back she was cause she thought I was being rude to the customer before she realized what happened.

She ended up telling the manager about it and I got a good ol' pat on the back and a sincere thanks.

Doesn't sound like much but I felt like a damn baddie. aesthetnic

Say my Name.

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Checking into campus housing, when I gave them my last name (fairly uncommon), and the girl says "do you mean (insert name that rhymes with mine)?" It's like wtf, are you seriously suggesting I don't know my own name? OddEye

Not on Saturday!

"No thank you I don't want to work Saturday."

"Are you doing anything on Saturday?"

"No, I just don't want to work Saturday, you contracted me to work weekdays."

Anyway I got a complaint filed against me for not being a team-player.

Edit: To add context, it was my first job after leaving school so I never really knew how to defend myself from and stand up to office malarkey. At the time I did do a few Saturday's to appease them but joined a sports team to give me a reason not to. I have since left for a better job. 10PointsForStAndrews

Caught Red Handed. 

Found out my supposed best friend who I was letting live on my couch was cheating on me with my GF at the time who I lived with.

I work in IT so I work crazy long hours but we had a massive power outage one day and boss said to just go home for the day so I left 5 hours early.

Caught both of them red handed.

Kicked them both out at once which was ideal because I got a little two pigeons - one stone type of deal.

They both apologized profusely and asked me even though they made a mistake why would I kick them out on the streets in an area where they can't afford to live? (Silicon Valley)

I laughed my butt off and said "I guess that's something you two should have figured out during pillow talk huh?" And slammed my front door as hard as I could in their faces.

Needless to say it wrecked me for a while because I loved that girl but looking back on it I think it's the only moment in my life where I'm proud to have stood up for my morals and values and not taken any crap or continued to let people walk all over me.

And that crap is priceless. DarkSideOfLife500

Sausages.

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Worked in a gas station and two guys walked in and kept looking where all the workers were. I kept an eye on them cause they looked shady, then I see one of the guys put a pack of sausages in his pocket and then come to the till to buy a red bull.

I made my co-worker (also my sister) move so I could serve them and when I scanned the red bull I said in the most casual way I could, with my heart nearly ripping out of my chest (I'm not a confrontational person), "do you wanna pay for the sausages you put in your pocket, too?" and the look on his face was priceless, I had to repeat myself and he just mumbles a "sorry" and paid for the sausages.

After they left my co-worker lost it, said how taken back she was cause she thought I was being rude to the customer before she realized what happened.

She ended up telling the manager about it and I got a good ol' pat on the back and a sincere thanks.

Doesn't sound like much but I felt like a baddie! aesthetnic

I was a CSR. 

I was a CSR for a popular pizza chain, and was handed a phone with an angry customer on the other line. They were complaining about having a pizza messed up, and I asked what they ordered. Over the next few minutes, their story kept on changing. First it was the sauce, then the toppings, then a missing side. I called him out on it, and told him to go scam some other restaurant. Needless to say, he only got one f bomb in before I hung up on him. Teetothejay13

Mylie....

We dropped our dog off at the groomers for her usual trim. When I returned three hours later the receptionist returned with a dog that, while adorable, was definitely not our dog. Not the same breed or even size. I chuckled and said this is definitely not my dog. To which the receptionist thought the appropriate reply was "Yes, that's Mylie." That was her name, but not the same dog. I retorted, "I think I know what my own dog looks like, miss."

"Well, that's her. If you don't like the cut, you can discuss it with the groomer."

That dismissive comment immediately made me lose my patience. "Hey! Get out from behind that desk and take this dog. We will go back there together and I will show you which dog is mine. I'm not going to waste another breath arguing this with you. Let's go."

I found our Mylie. It was the dog that was excited instead of confused when she saw me. I got that grooming for free.ChurchArsonist

The Shift Lead.

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When I was a shift lead in a kitchen, we had this one high schooler who always had an attitude and typically I would ignore it, but one day she didn't want to prep or clean dishes and I gave her the choice, but she flat out said said no to doing both. Since she had time to talk with her co-workers, I told her to do both.

I usually don't "make" people do anything. I ask if they can, but this time I deliberately made her do both. They usually don't often see me being direct like that so it was effective.

I almost stuttered too, but I will never let her know that. I hate telling people to do this or that unless I really know them well. WannabeAsianNinja

Byeeeeee.....

My boss told me I couldn't take time off for my son's wedding. I wasn't asking, but now I'm just not coming back.amp9396

2 Weeks Bye. 

This is my two week notice.

Yeah uh huh. Can you come in (day a month away)?

I said I'm putting in my two weeks.

Yeah I heard you, but we're going to be short staffed that day.

?????? 99213

Get Out!

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My ex lived with me when I found out that his friend who was doing pro bono work overseas was actually his fiance. Me kicking him out was my "Did I stutter?!" moment.

No. Fool. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

Edited to add that he thought "But where am I going to live?" was a question I would give a flying fig about the answer to. Edited again since some people are being pedantic: He was not my ex yet when this happened. He is my ex now.SouthernYankeeWitch

I was babysitting an arrestee recently at the hospital who had a broken leg, so they wanted to do a video arraignment. Whatever, I don't care, I'm getting paid to watch YouTube.

They asked for my email address to send me a link to use my phone for the video conference. Sorry, I don't have a work phone. Oh no, they say, use my personal phone for the video arraignment.

The Judge is Waiting.

Yeah no. My personal phone is not being used in an arraignment. That leaves it open to discovery in my opinion.

No it's fine, they say. Officers do it all the time.

Cool. It's not happening.

But the judge is waiting.

I don't work for the judge. Not happening. savage_31

3 Choices. 

When I found out the ex husband's last affair (he had several) I told him to open his iPad and start looking for a place to stay as he sure as heck wasn't going to be staying in the house. He sat there and just looked at me like I was joking. I said your fingers aren't broken, start tapping away and find a place. Either I can pack your bag for you which will be done in 3 seconds or you can pack it.

I said you have three choices. The car, the gutter or find a friend.

He then stood up and made his way to the bedroom to pack. Said he can stay at a friend. I said I don't care where you stay but it won't be here. Moved in with the last affair following day. Justanun

REDDIT

Who wants to speak out about the words that fell out out their mouths?

Anything dangerous or any foolish act you can think of has already been done by someone out there on the internet.

And I mean ANYTHING.

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@arlenedegaf/Twitter

A White civilian faked being a police officer in order to berate a group of Hispanic teenagers enjoying a swing set in a public, all-ages park, in Fort Worth, Texas.

One of the teens recorded the confrontation on a smartphone and posted the footage online.

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Being in the service industry is an incredibly difficult career. It is not for the lazy or faint of heart. In fact it has been scientifically proven that it takes an emotional toll on the soul, the body and most especially the mind. So what could possibly make a server reject the coin they are working for?

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If you've ever worked with kids you know that their honesty and lack of filter can sometimes make them cringeworthy - and pretty hilarious.

If you haven't (or you don't have a thick skin) then you might not be able to appreciate just how funny kids can actually be. For those who can, this article should be a blast.

Reddit user moosepajamas asked:

Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you've ever heard a student say?

The answers could sometimes be insulting, sometimes silly, and sometimes downright baffling - just like kids themselves!


September 31

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One time I was asking students their birthdays. One boy told me that his birthday was September 31st. I tried to explain that this was not possible, but he insisted. Later, I looked it up. I then informed him that his birthday was November 17th.

He looked at me kind of confused and said "ohhhh." Then his face brightened and he said, "Well, last year I KNOW it was September 31st!"

- RedditStateOfMind

Jesus

I teach elementary band. One time we were preparing for a challenging playing test and a student said: "Man, I need to practice."

Without missing a beat the kid next to him says "My mom says I need Jesus."

- moosepajamas

Shown Up By A 5th Grader

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Was tutoring after-school a couple years ago. A kid asked "What time is it?"

I joked "Time for you to get a watch."

He responded "Time for you to get a new joke" without a moment's hesitation.

I had to laugh at getting shown up by a 5th grader. Two reading levels behind but witty as hell.

- Garlic_And_Sapphires

Jogathon

I had a student who was a newcomer (just moved to the US, almost no English) from Latvia. This kid is very bright and was one of my favorite 6th graders ever. We were having our annual jogathon, which is linguistically and culturally not translatable from Latvian.

Student: "So I pay you and you make me run?"

Me: "Yeah, that's actually how it goes."

Student: "This is simple. I don't pay you, you don't make me run."

Me: "uhhhh...."

- estrogyn

Rosa

Middle school field trip to a different state. One of the chaperones (a large black woman) wanted to get in a little nap in the back seat of the bus, so she made one of the students move to a seat in the front that was far from his friends. He got in the seat and started sulking. He was normally a pretty lively kid, so I leaned forward and asked what happened.

To which he replied: "I think I just got reverse Rosa Parks-ed!"

- almost_queen

The Moon

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I teach sophomores. One day, this girl was sitting at her desk, looking very concerned, and obviously wanted to ask me something. Finally, she blurted out, "Did anybody else see the moon in the sky during lunch? It's supposed to be out at night, something is wrong!"

- cubfanbybirth

Physically

Teacher to student: "Were you in class yesterday?"

Student, sounding more lost than anything and probably answering too honestly: "Physically... ?"

It wasn't so much an attempt at humor as just the summation of how we all felt in that class, one of those "it's funny because it's too true" things... we all were showing up, we were all sitting in the class physically... but being there? That was another question...

- Allisade

The Ladies

First grade. 6 yr. old lil dude about 3 ft. tall and 80 lbs. walks in late from recess.

Me - "Why are you late?"

Kid - grabs his hunk of belly with both hands like a ball of cream cheese and says "The ladies love this!"

Sits down like nothing happen with no smile.

- BoBoShaws

Synchronized

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He asked me "If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?"

I lost it in class.

- bunsenbernerr

It's A Miracle

I teach high school, and one of my sophomores referred to merry-go-rounds as "miracle rounds". He legit thought that's what they were called 😂😂 I corrected him and he refused to believe me lol.

- royalredhead

The Pizza Guy

I was sharing information about math in art to my students (they're about 13 years old) and mentioned Leonardo da Vinci. A student said: "The pizza guy?"

I was confused, but later she said, "See! The pizza party!"

We were looking at The Last Supper.

- catpflug

Astronomy

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"I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it but he hasn't even brought up horoscopes yet and we're 6 weeks in."

- chrisrayn

Budget Cuts

I teach band. One day I'm working with the high school jazz band and we're going to start mapping out some basic compositions. I pass out blank sheet music for them to use, which is simply blank 5-line staves with no notes, no symbols, etc.

One kid gets his sheet music expecting it to be a new song we're going to work on, sees that it's blank, looks up and says "Wow, budget cuts must've hit us hard, huh?"

- SquirrelSanctuary

Life Choices

Math prof. I finished a proof and to check understanding, I asked "does everyone understand my choices?" One of my favorite students ever piped up and said "Are we talking about your proof or how you've chosen to live your life?"

- coldstainlessnail

Before

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Wore a Captain America shirt to school since the student council had a super hero day. A student said I looked like Captain America - before the super soldier injections.

- numero1uno

Parenting isn't always easy, but most parents recognize that their kids are going to mess up and need to be taught how to behave. Some, however, have deluded themselves into thinking that their little angel couldn't possibly misbehave or do anything wrong.

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Laura McIntyre / Facebook

Nurses are often one of the most undervalued professionals we have. Doctors tend to get the spotlight when it comes to healing.

But in the past week, many are placing nurses and all they do in the limelight–all thanks to Laura McIntyre celebrating her twin sister Caty's dedication.

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