People Who Blindsided Their Spouse With Divorce Papers Break Down What Happened

It is never an easy or happy decision to end a marriage.

Some people at least manage to do so "amicably", simply realizing that they are not as simpatico as they once thought they were, and remain on good terms, just no longer romantically linked.

For others, it's a long and arduous process, and they make every effort to no longer be part of one another's lives.

In some cases, however, the decision isn't a mutual one, usually leaving one half of the couple eternally confused over how things transpired.

Redditor mpreorder was curious to learn about situations where people pulled the rug out from under their spouse's feet with a divorce, leading them to ask:

"For people who totally blinded their spouse when serving them with divorce papers, what happened on the day they were served?"

"My mom rented a house an hour from our house, got a job down there, and moved all the stuff possible without dad noticing (all the kids stuff, her winter clothes, all the holiday stuff, furniture she told him she tossed out) and the movers showed up at 10 and we were outta there by 1:00."

"He nearly sh*t himself."

"lol."

"He was evil so I did not feel sorry for him and knew my mom could sleep peacefully from then on and so could us kids."

"She executed that deal like a boss."- amboomernotkaren

Blaming Everyone But Himself

"So he cheated on me with my best friend, he moved her in."

"I packed my stuff and moved out."

"I had to move out of state and move in with my parents at the time."

"I served him divorce papers, and he was pissed because neither of them made enough to pay rent. He then asked if my parents or I could pay it for them."

"Of course we didn’t, but he, of course, blamed his friends for making him cheat, and that it was my fault because I divorced him."

"He seriously believed I would still live with them and pay the bills for them, and still doesn’t understand why I divorced him."

"But he’s a narcissist."- Vampire_Bun

The Rules Were Not Meant To Be Broken

"My friend and his wife decided to open their marriage with a set of rules, her request due to him working so much to support them both."

"His wife broke all of the rules on the first date she went on and didn't speak to him for like 3 weeks, didn't come home either."

"My buddy was heartbroken, tried to make it work, and finally realized it would not."

"He served her papers, she called me asking why he would do this."

"Sometimes you're blindsided because you're blind."- That_OneOstrich

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It Is Possible To Have Too Much Of A Good Thing

"So, not the divorced party, but I was the divorce attorney for the wife."

"Without giving away identifying details, this one gutted me far more than the more venomous divorces I did."

"Wife was very upfront with me that she had never loved her husband though he was her best friend."

"She had never really wanted to get married, but he was such a wonderful person that she could never imagine finding someone better."

"He adored and loved her deeply and so she knew he would never cheat or hurt her."

"They had children, now full-grown and out in the world, and she felt like it was time to actually live the life she had always wanted to live."

"They had decades together, and she only now had the courage to try to live for herself."

"She warned me he had no idea this was coming and wanted to be present when it was served so that she could explain it to him."

"In agreement with her request, I told her the day I gave it to the process server."

"Since she told me where husband would be, we knew once the process server had the filed documents, they'd be served that day."

"She told me later that husband was so shocked and so confused that he just kept asking her, 'Wait, this is real? This isn't a bad prank? What's going on?'"

"She explained, and he cried, asking her to let him fix everything, go to counseling, anything."

"She told him there wasn't anything to fix."

"He was and is the absolute perfect spouse; that she was the issue because she had always lived her life for other people and wanted to live for herself for once."

"Just as she told me he would, once he decided that this would make her happy, he had no fight in him."

"He signed everything, gave her anything, just wanted to make sure she was okay and really sure about it."

"No games were played."

"Honestly, that was the most tragic part of it."

"Even in the last gasps and whimpers of their marriage, he was still the perfect husband to her."

"People are assuming she grabbed whatever she could in the divorce and made out like a bandit."

"That is not at all the case."

"She refused everything he tried to push her to take during the divorce, including alimony (which she would have gotten at least a decade of and not a small amount either), the house, part of their business, etc."

"She only wanted her personal vehicle and her personal items."

"Her husband had to pressure the hell out of her to get her to agree to take half their joint account because he was worried she didn't make enough on her own to afford rent in their small town."

"Like I said: perfect husband to the last."- rivlet

Talk About A Paper Trail

"I was sitting outside my kiddo's school, waiting for him to pick up, paying bills online."

"I saw the charge to a law office."

"A quick google told me they specialized in divorce."

"I wasn't served at that time, obviously, but he used MY credit card to pay the bill, not his, not a joint card, but one in my name that he was an authorized user on."

"A wonderful FU, in all honesty."

"Life is better now though - I moved to a new state, my kiddo is about to graduate college, and I found my forever partner."- adieCat

Bon Voyage!

"I was on the receiving end."

"My ex-husband and our child's nanny were having an affair and as soon as I had solid evidence (vs. a gut feeling) -- this is pre-smartphone/texting -- I fired her while he was on a business trip and confronted him upon his return."

"It took him a few months of dancing around trying to convince me that we should stay together and he'd just come and go as he pleased.....oh hell no."

"He finally left, got an apartment right across the street from the ex-nanny, and their relationship continued."

"About two years later, I got wind that they were planning to get married (fyi at the same venue WE were married at 7 years earlier - smh) but hold up....he and I weren't divorced."

"I had already moved out of our marital home, he had no interest in his own child so it's not like he knew where I lived, but he did know where I worked."

"A very secure building in the downtown core."

"I also had a job that required me to be in and out of meetings most days and unreachable by phone."

"Almost everyday for about 3 months, I received a voicemail message from the security guard at the front door stating that there was a gentleman here to see me."

"Since I wasn't expecting any visitor at that time, I assumed it was an unsolicited sales call because most people would get the hint that they need an appointment or leave whatever they were trying to deliver at the front desk."

"This started in January, by almost the end of March, the security guard and I were trying to figure out who this clown was."

"He wouldn't give any info about why he was showing up almost daily, his clothing gave nothing away and looking at security camera footage, I couldn't identify the visitor."

"And then one day, I received an unexpected call from my 'husband'."

"What a surprise, turns out the stranger was a process server and he had been trying to serve me divorce papers as he and the nanny were planning to get married in October of that same year."

"I could hear the panic in his voice because even after I was served, I could still drag my feet through the court system, thereby derailing their wedding plans."

"Told the husband that he knew where I worked and that no one gains entry without an appointment or an escort."

"Best part of this scenario was that every day the process server came to the building, my dear soon-to-be ex husband was dinged 25 bucks by his lawyer."

"And all because he thought he'd 'spring it on me' or he was too cowardly to track me down and give them to me himself."

"I finally took pity on the process server and advised husband to pass the word along that if the process server would show up on X day between 9 and 9:30 a.m. that I would receive him."

"Process server told me that his daily visits cost my husband $2k in process server charges (and that said process server was using his visits to fund an upcoming trip overseas! LOL)."- Baciandrio

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Nothing Can Really Prepare You When It Actually Happens

"He was completely blindsided."

"I had also told him I had found a lawyer and that I wanted a divorce weeks prior, so he should be ready for this to happen."

"Not to mention the years and years of me trying to work it out and make things better for him."

"Somehow him not returning the effort and helping me, despite very clear communication from me, didn't make me want to stay."- Numerous_Ad1620

The Last One To Get It...

"He was absolutely blindsided, but to anyone from the outside looking in, it was a long time coming."

"We were having issues that he chalked up to me 'being stressed at work'."

"He had moved in with his parents to give me space and time to 'get over' the fact that he hadn’t worked in 2 years and did nothing to contribute to the household."

'He absolutely thought I was just pissed and he would be back in the house in a few days."

"I already had a lawyer on retainer who was waiting for me to give him the word that I would be filing."

"My lawyer advised me, since the house was mine, and he was already moved out, change the locks, block his number, and don’t communicate with him unless it was through my attorney."

"I did just that."

"I knew he was being served that day, so I went to work, went out to dinner with a friend, came home, and had the best night of sleep I’ve had in a long time."- YourStudentLoanDebt

The Law Is The Law...

"A friend, who is a deputy sheriff, was tasked with serving divorce papers."

"He arrived at the house and the family was sitting at their dinner table."

"They’re having dinner together like they would every evening."

"The wife was divorcing her husband, and he was completely blindsided."

"The Deputy told the husband that he had to leave the house now."

"The husband hurriedly packed up some things."

"On the way to his car, he picked up a hammer and started beating the hell out of the wife’s car."

"The wife asked the Deputy to stop him, and the Deputy asked the husband if he was the owner of the vehicle."

"He said he was, and the Deputy said there was nothing he could do."

"The husband proceeded to smash all the windows and lights on her car."

"Then, he got in his car and left."

"The wife filed a complaint against the Deputy."

"The Sheriff’s Department investigated and found that the husband was the legal owner of the vehicle and it was within his rights to destroy the car."- ChopAndDrop27

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What Goes Around Comes Around

'So we had gotten married and then after moving in together it just... Really... Really wasn't working."

"Found out she was sleeping around with half the base and my coworkers."

"I ended up consulting a lawyer to get this going."

"One day as I'm getting ready to leave for work I open the door and a big dude is standing there."

"He asks, 'Are you (name)?' I said yes, and he shoved papers in my hands."

"I was absolutely shocked and ended up laughing my a** off."

"Then she was served with my papers, and she lost her mind."

"Attempted to loot the house."

"And then tried to get something like 110% of my pay for alimony."

"She filed in a different state and had a friend of the family paralegal draft the documents."

"They didn't realize that part of my pay wasn't really up for grabs since it was an allowance for X purpose, she just ball-parked what I got paid."

"The court in our state took priority where I had filed."

"She got in a lot of trouble for violating court orders."

"I got everything except my dog."- byyourleavesir

Not The Way He Thought This Would End...

"My Wasband was served in jail a day or two before Christmas, and he says he was blind-sided, but he shouldn't have been; he was in there for trying to kill me!"- jenesia-CakeEatnNPC-

Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish

"I wasn’t blindsided exactly."

"He had already discarded me and trashed me to all our friends, so I was living across town from our old house, in a scary ground-floor apartment, alone, broken, and in therapy, trying to survive my depression."

"After only a few days of moving in, this drop-dead beautiful woman knocks on my door."

"Like, tall, blonde, Pantene commercial hair, yoga fit, perfect poise, delicate jewelry, you know the type (I am a short, chubby goth)."

"I had been crying for days nonstop and looked like dryer lint so I didn’t answer it."

"I just spied on her from the side window until she left."

"She came back two other times that week."

"I never answered the door, I would just watch."

"She would knock a few times, wait maybe ten minutes, text someone and then leave."

"In my mental state, I wasn’t opening doors for anyone, even people I knew."

"Finally, my ex-husband called me: 'Hey, my girlfriend is a process server and she’s been trying to serve you the divorce papers all week'."

"When will you be home so she can deliver them and get this going?'”- throwRA-nonSeq

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It Hits Us All Differently

"I was on the receiving end of that about 4 months ago."

"I would say I went from complete shock to panic, and then depression, and then panic, and back to depression."- alwaysfatigued8787

Point Taken

"He just said, 'Guess I better go pack,' and left."

"Of course, ‘blindsided’ might not be fully accurate."

"I had moved out of the bedroom months earlier, and he never even mentioned it."- professornb

Can't Say He Didn't Get What He Asked For...

"He’d spent our entire relationship making stupid, thoughtless, impulsive decisions, and resenting me when I tried talking him out of them."

"We had plenty of issues, but the plan was to go to counseling."

"Which he was supposedto set up and never bothered to follow through with (typical)."

"When he impulsively said he wanted a divorce and I said 'Ok' without any argument, he was shocked."

"I decided I wasn’t gonna try to talk him out of that decision."- dontwanna-cantmakeme

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When both members of a couple know full well that their marriage has come to a point beyond salvation, they should probably assume that divorce is inevitable.

Even so, knowing it's coming is a very different feeling from experiencing it when it actually happens.