A Tucson man recently cheated death, and he's giving all the credit to that most magnificent of foods:
Now we hear you:
"Duh, tacos have saved my life approximately 1,000 times because tacos are proof that God is real and s/he loves us."
Yes, okay, fine.
But this guy was literally saved by a taco.
‘A Taco Saved My Life’: A Tucson man’s car was shot while driving. Read more: https://t.co/cDIiPIdyFa https://t.co/Jgzae4rSZ4— KOLD News 13 (@KOLD News 13) 1574185263.0
Allow us to explain.
It turns out that taco shells are bulletproof, and—just kidding. But the real story isn't any less wild!
Ryan Bishop was driving to the Pima County Fairgrounds this past Sunday when out of nowhere, his driver side window shattered.
When he got out to investigate, thinking a rock had broken it, he heard a torrent of gunshots nearby. So, he got back in the car and drove away, as one does.
He called the police, who found a bullet on his dashboard: the culprit of his shattered window.
So what does a taco have to do with all of this?
Well, Ryan typically drives like this:
Windows down, arm up on the door in the warm Tucson sun.
But on this particular day, he was driving like this:
Eating a delicious Taco Bell taco.
So he uncharacteristically had his window up. Because who wants wind and desert dust in their beautiful taco?
As he explained to local Fox affiliate KOLD:
"I had the window closed because I didn't want pieces of the taco flying around."
Which means that if the window had been up, Ryan's arm—or worse—would have taken that bullet.
As he put it:
"I'm pretty sure [eating a] taco saved my life, or at least stopped my arm from getting blown apart,"
We all knew tacos were wonderous creations but who knew they had THIS kind of power?
Makes you think...
Anyway, in all seriousness, Ryan was pretty shaken up by the incident, telling KOLD that he was "in shock and awe" and "can't process it."
Bishop's mother—er, at least, someone on Twitter pretending to be his mother... was rattled too, and she took to Twitter to say thank you to the good folks at Taco Bell!
Thank you @tacobell This was was son Ryan and he was eating YOUR taco! 💜💜💜💜 https://t.co/ILTOeyxhAQ— Nancy Bishop (@Nancy Bishop) 1574399315.0
And the taco chain seems to have earned a lifelong customer out of the deal.
I will forever eat @tacobell as it LITERALLY saved my son Ryan's life! No joke! https://t.co/Vdfrx0huc3— Nancy Bishop (@Nancy Bishop) 1574399537.0
Elsewhere on Twitter, people were pretty surprised by this story of powerful tacos, and of course the jokes came rolling in.
Where it not for a taco, a Tucson man could have been a shell of his former self. https://t.co/wBIpVZ0M4s— HuffPost Weird News (@HuffPost Weird News) 1574362911.0
🎶Taco saved my life tonight Tortilla care You almost had your lead in me Taco was there If not for fourth meal I mi… https://t.co/zMWlTHiRJL— 🦃Brother JMac🦃 (@🦃Brother JMac🦃) 1574282752.0
A man may fail you, but a taco never will. https://t.co/lkq7eG9lDq— jena jones (@jena jones) 1574411443.0
@azfamily @NicoleCritesTV @JDillingham3TV Regarding the Taco Saved my Life story, were any taco shell fragments fou… https://t.co/2GIPEhzYTX— ZenDad (@ZenDad) 1574212898.0
While others couldn't help but point out the gun-crazy absurdity.
Our @NRA World: Car is hit by a stray bullet as it travels down Arizona roadway. Driver claims eating a taco saved… https://t.co/63CgDmelH9— SFDB (@SFDB) 1574258167.0
This is the most-Tucson thing you'll read today. https://t.co/NruWCzpyDp— Buzz Jackson (@Buzz Jackson) 1574185763.0
In any case, the Tucson Police Department is investigating the case as "Criminal Damage/Malicious Mischief."
Hopefully tacos can soon just go back to being tacos in Tucson.