The Weirdest Things Medical Professionals Have Casually Said To A Patient

Thanks for the Complex

"When I was like 20, my endocrinologist took a good look at me and asked, 'Are you okay with your face being so asymmetrical?'"

"I had never really noticed it before, but boy have I noticed it since!"

- Fragrant-Opinion2021

A Dental Prodigy

"When I was 12, I had a dentist say, 'Hold on, I think I might be counting wrong, you shouldn't have those yet... Okay, never mind, those are definitely your wisdom teeth. Your mouth is just huge, I guess.'"

"They then said I was the youngest they'd ever seen anyone get their wisdom teeth. So much so, they called in every dentist in the building to come to look at my mouth."

- kodlab115

Not That Funny

"Following a checkup... They said, 'We're going to have to remove your testicles... Just kidding, you should've seen your face.'"

- realpren

Highly Memorable

​"After destroying my knee riding BMX at 17, the emergency surgeon said, 'Wow, really f**ked that up.'"

"10 years later and after another serious knee injury from riding, I saw the same surgeon (he did a great job on the first one)."

"The first words out of his mouth were, 'I remember you. F**ked up the other one, huh?'"

- brianbmx94

"I like this guy. He waited 10 years for that moment."

- forestNargacuga

"D**n, I don’t know how I’d feel knowing I f**ked up enough to be remembered by an emergency surgeon."

- Reins22

"Not great, lol (laughing out loud). I literally 'broke' my knee 90 degrees sideways. It had to be forced straight (by him), and then we immediately went into surgery to repair basically every ligament and piece of soft tissue in there. Lucky I didn’t get a fake knee at 17 from that one."

- brianbmx94

"Since I'm not sure which knee this was, I just griped both of mine in horror, just to be safe. Hope that's cool."

- boobookenny

Not in Favor of Being Tall

"Back pain, I’m not young. The doctor just said basically, 'Well, that’s just life for you. You’re tall.'"

"'So I’m just going to end up being a hunched over 90-year-old?'"

"'Lol (laughing out loud), you’re not going to see 90.'"

"'Um… pardon?'"

"'How many tall old people have you ever seen?'"

"'Oh… yeah… okay.'"

- The_Town_of_Canada

"Oof. Unfortunately, he has a point. For a while, I knew a guy who was over six foot, five inches, and worked as a genetic counselor."

"One time we were chatting and he just casually mentioned that he wasn’t expecting to get terribly old. He knew the statistics because of his job, and the odds are not good for people over six feet."

"On the other hand, that’s just averages, not an individual outcome. Plenty of short people die in car accidents in their twenties, and plenty of tall people live well into old age."

- Should_be_less

Textbook Anomaly Examples

"The doctor said, 'If you don’t mind, I’d like to show everyone pictures of your tonsils.'"

"According to her, I had the most disgusting tonsils she had ever seen in her years in the business, and gosh darn, she wanted to show them off."

- Old_Army90

"I had a similar experience at a dentist. I apparently had a very rare problem and even the oldest doctor only had seen this two times in his life. For the next few sessions, all other doctors were called in and he showed them it."

"I was fine with it, but it was an odd situation sitting on the dentist's chair while four doctors and a few nurses were around you and looked very interested in what would happen next."

"So I was the real-life example for a textbook lecture."

- memesforbismarck

Not Answering the Same Question

"A nurse of some kind took my blood pressure. He said what the numbers were."

"I asked, 'Is that good?'"

"He said, 'I’m not qualified to give you a professional opinion on the matter. You should ask your doctor.'"

"I asked, 'But like, unprofessionally, is that good?'"

"He said, 'Unprofessionally? Well, in my purely personal opinion that I am sharing with you as an individual and not in any medical or official capacity whatsoever, you should buy stronger deodorant.'"

"For clarity, I was definitely stinky, I was homeless at the time. I was well aware of this fact. If you’re worried you’re a little funky, don’t. You would almost assuredly notice if you smelled really bad."

- InABoxOfEmptyShells

Already an Awkward Enough Situation

"'You just hang on right there; we will get you a wheelchair and admitted to the hospital. We have to do a colonoscopy, but don’t worry, I will knock you out before sticking a camera up your a**.'"

- MacDugin

"My GI (Gastroenterologist) doctor was named (no lie) Dr. Stiff. After my last colonoscopy, he told me in the recovery room: 'Well, that’s the last time you’re getting Stiffed. I’m retiring at the end of the year.'"

- mum2girls

"I appreciate people who turn their names into verbs."

- Nike-6

Pregnancy Talk

"I told an OB-GYN during an exam that my husband and I had just started trying to get pregnant, and she said, 'Are you tracking your cycle or just f**king all time?'"

"Hearing that come out of a small elderly woman was freaking hilarious! She was close to retirement and had zero filter, and now I miss her!"

- WiscoCheeses

"My OB-GYN told me that I had a wonderful uterus, just after he commented how cute my socks were."

- sarcastic_whatever

Awkward...

"'My son is about your age and single, do you want his number?'"

"This was said by my Gynecologist..."

- My_dal

Oh No, Not Like That

"My previous OB-GYN came through my line at my old job. For some reason, I blanked on who he was. Like, I knew I knew him, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember how."

"He saw I was struggling and said, 'Don't remember me? I'll give you a hint: last time I saw you, you were in my office with your ankles in the air!'"

"He said this loudly, in front of a line of little old ladies fresh from church, wanting to buy flowers from the garden center."

"He was an amazing doctor and figured out what was wrong with me when no other doctor could, but in that moment, the embarrassment could have killed me lol (laughing out loud)."

- Marauder424

"Being a knowledgeable, and even brilliant, doctor and being completely socially inept often go hand in hand."

- OpalRose1993

The Silver Lining

"I had a doctor tell me that my metabolism is so slow that I would do very well in an apocalypse."

- Rosemary324

"My doctor told me this when he noticed my chronic low body temperature and asked me other questions about weight gain and pooping frequency."

"He said, 'Some people are just built to hibernate. You're just, like, hibernating all the time.'"

"This was in the same conversation where he diagnosed me with a sleep disorder too. I can't even hibernate properly."

- wheatgrass_feetgrass

Such a Cool Moment

"I was getting my blood drawn for a mono test back around 2006. The older lady nurse asked me what sort of music I liked."

"I figured she was making small talk to get my mind off the needles, so I rattled off a few bands I’d been listening to."

"One of them happens to be Postal Service. She said, 'Oh, I know that one!'"

"I replied, 'Yeah, it’s the same lead singer as Death Cab for Cutie.'"

"She said, 'I know. He’s my son.'"

- piconese

"'Such Great Heights' is one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time. How cool."

- subieluvr22

"Yeah, I still love Postal Service. She was very nice, and I said something along the lines of, 'You must be so proud!'"

"I just really hope I meet Ben Gibbard someday so I can tell him that his mom took my blood, lol (laughing out loud)."

- piconese

Only in Ireland

"I live in Ireland, the surgeon who replaced my hip is also a farmer."

"The day before I was due to be discharged, he came in on his rounds, and he said, 'I may or may not see you tomorrow, it depends on the dog.'"

"So I said, 'Okay, what’s up with the dog?'"

"He told me the dog broke his leg and was having it set tomorrow, but he wasn’t sure what time, so I said, 'Sure, bring in the old dog, and I’ll mind him' (this is rural Ireland bear in mind and I was in the convalescent area of the hospital by then)."

"Shortly after breakfast the next day, he arrived in with the dog, a lovely border collie with his leg in plaster. He stayed with me watching TV until he doctor was finished replacing another person's hip and was ready to discharge me and we could all go home."

"It could only happen in Ireland."

- Rosieapples

From funny to wildly awkward, most of these comments were at least funny enough that someone could share them at a gathering for a good laugh from the crowd.

A few were alarming, however, and definite reasons for people to want to switch doctors.