an Oh Myyy Property

Let's be honest, divorce sucks pretty bad in the traditional sense. There's a lot of heartache and paperwork involved - and that's if it's an amicable divorce. If there's some animosity, the process can be straight up traumatizing - but it's 2018 and we're all about making the best out of the worst, so let's find those silver linings, shall we? Divorce isn't all bad. Turns out, it's gone some pretty sweet bonuses attached.


One Reddit user asked:

Divorced folk, what's the most underrated part of divorce?

The answers were kind of adorable in a melancholy sort of way. It's awful that these people had to suffer through divorce, but it's the sorts of simple joys they've found on the other side are honestly pretty beautiful reminders that not all hope is lost.

Here are some of our favorite responses, edited for language and clarity.

Bye Mom!

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You get to divorce your mother-in-law, too!

- Yeahbabs

Just Go

The very first morning I was finally alone and freed from an abusive relationship I was able to simply go to the store. That's the first thing I did, was I went to the store. I didn't have to ask for permission, or have her force her to come with me, I just walked out the door, got in the car, and went to the store. It was a Target. I looked at furniture. I was able to look left and look right without fear of being accused of looking at another woman.

So I guess the most underrated part was being able to do the most mundane, ordinary thing.

- Wdeflect

The Fridge

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The most underrated part of divorce for me was having the fridge organized exactly how I wanted it, so I could grab things without looking. I'm tall, and the fridge was a smaller one, so I had to get down on a knee to see everything. Having it laid out specifically helped me out, but my ex-wife never even attempted to do the same. Having my stuff exactly where I need it to be is wonderful.

- Judoka229

Knowledge

The most underrated part of my divorce was all the relationship knowledge and experience I walked away with. I learned a lot about my own needs, what not to do's and SO MANY new skills from the marriage counseling we attended that can be applied to future relationships.

I'm a much better partner now.

- DahliaSinger

Do Over

Reset. You get to reset and rebuild your life like you are 22 and just finished college. I quit my job and everything. While the heartache and financial ruin sucked, it was a very free time for me after filing for bankruptcy. I went on road trips with the dog and worked part time for years. It was a great life.

- strong_cyclist_type

Wanting To Come Home

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For me? That first night you arrive home to your new place and realize you actually wanted to come home. No more staying at work late when you didn't really need to or driving to the beach to avoid going home.

Dreading to go to your own home is such an awful feeling.

- little_beanpole

The Unknown

The first little bit of time after it happens, right after you've officially moved out and gone your separate ways... even though things feel so heavy there's also this feeling of pure excitement at the unknown. Knowing it's you and only you, no other person to rely on. That there's opportunity everywhere for things to get better. Being free of something that weighed you down, and free to plan your next move with only yourself in mind.

- bitch-cassidy

Create A Home

I get to create the home I want. My ex never cared about anything I wanted to do in the home, he had no opinion. He just didn't want to create "our" home.

Now that he is gone, I get to create a cozy, wonderful and wacky home for me and my boys. It feels wonderful!

- Sassenachlass

No One To Consult

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The realization that "Right now, I could go anywhere, and there's no one to consult before I go."

In my case, I quit my job and moved to Arcosanti for a year. If I hadn't gone through the divorce and come to that realization in that year, I might never have met my second wife. I almost certainly wouldn't have married her and celebrated 11 anniversaries with her before I was suddenly widowed. For me, the years I had with my second wife were totally worth the pain of the divorce and the pain of her loss.

- KarlBob

No More Mess

Not having his clutter everywhere, and his passive-aggressive demands that constantly I tidy up after him even though we both worked full-time.

Now any messes are my messes, and cleaning the house is WAY easier. He used to come home and just leave his shoes in the middle of the living room, where they'd eventually grow to a pile unless I moved them. Not having a fucking pile of shoes in the middle of the main room for everyone to trip over (and the accompanying resentment because what the f*ck) is glorious.

Oh, and being able to just have crackers or cheese or some snacks for dinner instead of being expected to whip up a daily three-course masterpiece when I'm tired (because if I didn't cook a full plated dinner of something he personally wanted to eat, his only remedy was to order extremely expensive delivery we couldn't really afford) is also pretty boss.

- scotty_doesntknow

H/T: Reddit

Addiction makes you do strange things...

Addictions are dangerous. It takes a hold of your life and strangles it. It festers slowly and disintegrates your world. Well most of them do. We all have behavioral addictions that often become a quirky character trait. Sometimes it can actually be cute. Well certain behaviors within reason that is. Some can be downright annoying and fodder for the therapist.

Redditor u/milanamilana asked people to divulge a few things, asking... What's your "strange addiction"?

Ah the cones...

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When I am out walking in wooded areas I spend a lot of time trying to find pine cones to stand on.

I do it because when you find a suitably dry one it feels amazing and sounds so good. Do it. Tends to work best if they are stood upright. wewannagetloaded

The sound of music...

I will listen to music for hours on end while walking around a room, imagining various stories and scenarios. Glissando365

I do that constantly. It doesn't interfere with my life but I love coming up with all kinds of stories and dropping myself into them. ParsnipPizza2

Flesh eater.

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Chewing the inside of my mouth. classik_e

My 30 year old sister has done this her whole life, and I have never seen or met anyone else that does it as noticeably as her. She'll take the second knuckle of her index finger and push her cheek in so she can chew on it. She's gotten better about not doing it as often. I've never asked her why she does it. yolkfacekilla

Daydream Believer. 

I'm not sure how common this is but shopping for million dollar penthouses and yachts that I will never be able to afford. I just like to dream I guess. ShellSwitch

I do this a ton, it's my night time wind down in bed activity to look at /r/roomporn and imagine myself as the buyer. What I would change, what I like etc etc. ExeterMegaladon

Yuck! 

This is so gross but I am addicted to picking. Pimples, dry skin, scabs, anything pick-able I will dig at it till I bleed. No I am not on drugs. It's so bad that I am contemplating hypnosis. Annon8765

I'm so hangry!

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Going through the kitchen in search of food, giving up, then lowering my standards and looking again. bibi-chocobun

I do this ALL THE TIME!!!!

I open the fridge, look around, take a mental note of what is there and close the doors and walk away. an hour later i come back and open the fridge, look around and think of what i might want... as if my stomach wants it, but my brain says no. tunersharkbitten

Look at the people...

Analyzing other people when I'm out in public. I enjoy trying to figure out who they are just by what I see. DARKcsb

I like doing this with my mom.

We would guess "who went with who" at the food court in the mall when I was growing up. We would look at people with their trays of food and try to guess who their significant other was waiting at the table.

My mom was almost always right. It's a fond memory :) girlroseghost

Staying mute...

I'm addicted to avoiding phone calls. QiNavigator

I purposefully reply to texts with at least hour delay so it's not fishy that I am never able to accept any calls.OresteiaCzech

I found a reality series...

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Donating sperm to lesbians.

I started off donating to some friends then they began recommending me to other lesbians through a FB group.

It's so rewarding and I've fathered 7 so far. Socialist7

Thank you for reading! 

Reading creepy stories on Reddit, which I guess isn't that strange. Alec122

And then regretting it when you try to sleep? Because that's what I do. CautiousMusic

REDDIT

Sam Tabone/WireImage via Getty Images, Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic via Getty Images

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If you talk to anyone studying English as a second language, they'll tell you how hard it is to learn. If you grew up speaking English as your only language, it probably doesn't seem that difficult; but as a bilingual native English speaker who learned a second language later in life I can tell you, English is WEIRD!

English has so many inconsistencies in spelling, pronunciation, verb conjugation...don't get me started. American English, UK English, and Australian English all spell things differently and the same word can have completely different meanings or connotations.

It wasn't until my freshman year of high school when I started learning Japanese, in which a word is always pronounced exactly like it looks like it should be, that I gained a real understanding of how hard English would be for someone to try to learn as a second language. Even as a native speaker who loves the English language and writes for a living, I sometimes struggle with its many homophones (there, their, and they're, for example) and grammatical inconsistencies. Even our mnemonics that are taught in school to help remember these differences don't always hold true. "I before E, except after C" is something most American children are taught in elementary school, but what about neighbor, weight, and veil?

Redditor STUDkatz asked:

What's something weird about English (or another language) that native speakers don't think about?

Below, you'll find an assortment of the weird quirks of the language that you've probably never thought about.

My Brain Hurts

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English might be difficult. It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

-SpeeeeedBoost

It's Right, But Why?

A native speaker has a knowledge of implicit grammar (through learning naturally as a child) that would require an adult years to study and review.

You're spewing out the correct answer but god help you if someone asks you to show your work.

-BaanThai

I am an editor and I still sometimes have trouble when asked why something should be a certain way. I just KNOW it's wrong (or correct) and I can't always explain why.

-Lil-Maece

It took until i was 16 to realize there's actually a rule to figure out if you should use a or an... Before that (and admittedly since) I was just going with the one that didn't sound dumb out loud

-booneruni

Unnecessary Combination

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People assume a lot of silly things, such as words that can be combined always are.

Examples: "Yeah I maybe doing that later." or "I do that everyday."

I want to punch myself for writing that.

-PM_ME_A_PLANE_TICKET

Running A Bit Long

Run has hundreds of uses (forms). Last I checked it was a little over 250. You run a program, you run over toads in your car, the chicken run has a duck in it, The ads run too long on the TV, you run out of toilet paper, you run down to the shop in the car, you run up a bill at the shop after the assistant gave you the run around. You run into a friend but you have to run home as you had the runs and something was running down your leg. You run to the toilet but you run into a problem. Your kid is running a lemonade stand in the doorway. You're now running a little brown cable along your path. You hope nobody takes a picture and runs it in the paper as you are running for office. Your stance is against gun runners but you're hauling a little brown nuke right now. I've run out but there's more.

-PapaOoMaoMao

Sometimes The Joke Is In The Translation

Pakistani urdu-english speaker, there are a LOT of words that are absolutely hilarious when taken in the context of english but my 2 favorite have to be which is a letter in the urdu alphabet and is pronounced exactly like "Meme" and another which is a punjabi name which is literally spelled and pronounced "Butt", there is also a national level bakery brand called "Butt"

Urdu is a great language

-Theodoric___

Strength Or Weakness?

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There is a common nine letter word with only a single vowel in English.

That word is "strengths".

-Wobbles42

Ordered Descriptors

Adjectives have a specific order they are supposed to be arranged. For example, you would never say the green large five dragons. You would say the five large green dragons. The order that English typically follows for adjectives is:

1. Quantity or number

2. Quality or opinion

3. Size

4. Age

5. Shape

6. Color

7. Proper adjective

8. Purpose or qualifier

-TinkerTailorSoldjur

Rhymes with Confusion

Read and lead rhyme and so do read and lead, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.

-LinnyFlower

About Time You Realized It

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I never really appreciated the word "about" until I started learning French and realized there are about a couple dozen different words you have to learn about where in English we would just say "about." It's just about one of the most versatile and useful words we have.

-schnit123

Confusing Combos

Native English speaker here.

How irritatingly complex and nuanced English (and other Germanic languages) verbs are for having tons of common verbs that change meaning completely or only subtly with one flip of a preposition and sometimes even more so by stacking a few more on.

Put + on, in, out, off, toward, into, forth, away, up, up with, down, past

Set + on, off, out, in, up, down

Run + off, on, out, into, away, up, down, over, at, through

Take + on, out, in, away, up, over, off

Break + in, out, up, down, up with, into, out of away

Give + up, out, away, in, out

Get + on, in, out, up, down, away, away with, along, by, back, through, across, over, into, at

Work + up, up to, out, through

Come + in, out, by, across, through, over, at

Do + in, away with, over, up

Hang + up, in, out, out with, over, with, off, back

Then ones where the options are fewer, they're either somewhat related or *not at all*.

Chat vs chat someone up.

Make something up vs make out.

This list isn't exhaustive because I got tired of thinking but I've heard many a friend moan and groan about how every combination seems like a whole new word or phrase to memorize. That even if it looks familiar, they can't trust it. Most other languages just have a unique word for each idea or at least morphology that is somehow linked. Work + through makes sense in that it implies you're belaboring or in the midst of resolving something (imagine pushing *through* something). So some make at least a little logical sense. Put + up + with has no clue in it that it means to endure or tolerate. Come + over is just like "went from toward me above something?"

Set + off (an alarm) makes no sense at all. Isn't it actually going *on*?

Break + in (to use a new item for the first time, implying the start of the process of making it yours) — just "breaking" your boots is bad but if you do it on the inside, it's desired?

Give + out as in, "my car's engine gave out." (went kaput) Did it hand you a piece of candy?

If repeating doing something is "doing something over," then what do these mean:

"coming over"

"handing over"

"taking over"

"getting over"

At least in languages like Spanish that are better stocked in the logic department, these all are treated as different ideas that they are.

Venir a visitar

Entregar

Encargarse de

Superar

EDIT: Spelling mistakes and additional examples.

-stanographer

H/T: Reddit

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