During a meeting with state governors at the White House on Monday, President Donald Trump claimed he would have run into Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School unarmed to help stop the shooter, had he been there.
Trump told a room full of governors, "you know I really believe, you don't know until you're tested, but I really believe I'd run in there, even if I didn't have a weapon, and I think most of the people in this room would've done that too." This is quite the claim from a man who received five draft deferments for bone spurs.
Watch the clip of the President's hypothetical self-heroism.
President Trump, talking about the Parkland shooting: “I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn't have a w… https://t.co/rzubJE1wQM— Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@Holly Figueroa O'Reilly)1519672084.0
It turns out, though, Trump has been tested in a life-or-death situation before.
In a 2008 interview with radio host Howard Stern, Trump reminisced about the time he turned away in disgust as an elderly man lay bleeding on his "beautiful marble floor" at Mar-A-Lago.
Listen to the interview below:
Trump, talking about a $100,000-per-plate fundraiser he was hosting at his Florida retreat (which he calls "The Southern White House"), told Stern that "a man, about 80 years old—very wealthy man, a lot of people didn't like him—he fell off the stage."
But instead of helping the man, who was literally bleeding from the head, Trump turned away in disgust, because no one liked the guy, allegedly. Or because of germophobia. Or bone spurs again. Who knows.
Trump then described how upset he was that his expensive floors were being stained, and that the blood was too icky for him to offer assistance.
Here is a transcript of the rest of the interview:
"So what happens is, this guy falls off right on his face, hits his head, and I thought he died. And you know what I did? I said, 'Oh my God, that's disgusting,' and I turned away," Trump said, unabashedly. "I couldn't, you know, he was right in front of me and I turned away. I didn't want to touch him… he's bleeding all over the place, I felt terrible. You know, beautiful marble floor, didn't look like it. It changed color. Became very red. And you have this poor guy, 80 years old, laying on the floor unconscious, and all the rich people are turning away. 'Oh my God! This is terrible! This is disgusting!' and you know, they're turning away. Nobody wants to help the guy. His wife is screaming—she's sitting right next to him, and she's screaming."
So on one hand, Trump has no fear of being tested by a 19-year-old with an AR-15 shooting up a school. On the other hand, Trump couldn't handle the sight of some blood.
And because there are always such thorough records of Trump completely contradicting himself, the Internet went all in. Brutally.
The best comebacks on Twitter included a series of cartoons, inspired by The Washington Post.
Cartoonists respond to Trump's remark that he would charge toward a gunman https://t.co/CA2QFaqhth— The Washington Post (@The Washington Post)1519748107.0
They speak for themselves.
@washingtonpost https://t.co/9SrEw098DK— Doug Shields (@Doug Shields)1519751088.0
Here's Trump helping his youngest son, Barron, on the slippery steps of Air Force One in the rain.
@washingtonpost Here’s the indisputable evidence of how he protects his own, don’t fancy chances for anyone else’s… https://t.co/HjmgZxelPl— Gerard Brennan (@Gerard Brennan)1519759142.0
"In breaking news," wrote satirist Keith Barber, "Trump has awarded himself the Medal of Honor."
@washingtonpost In breaking news, Trump has awarded himself the Medal of Honor. https://t.co/z22199gi3U— Keith Barber (@Keith Barber)1519763883.0
He may as well, tbqfh. Please, someone, just make it stop