Love can be a wonderful thing.
Some say... "love is all you need."
That is until it's the last thing you need.
Not every love story ends happily ever after.
One of the saddest parts of a crumbling relationship is when nobody acknowledges that it's over.
Ignoring that fact is brutal.
But if we pay attention the signs and red flags are there.
We must learn to embrace them and share them for others to learn about.
Redditor avammadoc wanted to hear about the times when everyone knew the love was gone, so they asked:
"What was the sign your relationship was over?"
Just Quiet
"When you find your peace in their absence."
- Commercial-Matter-43
"The feeling of absolute peace and freedom I got when my last ex left my apartment for the last time was the most elated I’ve ever been in the last 5 years... lol."
- SufficientBowler2722
Breathe Jack Black GIF by RegalGiphy
Basic Indifference
"When you have evidence that they cheated, but you don't really care. No sadness, no hatred, just indifference."
- keitaro_guy2004
"I experienced this with my first girlfriend. The relationship was nearing its end, and she mentioned that she went for a drive after school with a guy friend. It was a known thing that this guy had a crush on her. Earlier in the relationship, I would have been super jealous and probably immature about it, but I found I literally didn’t care or feel anything at all. Knew it was time."
- grither88888
Yeah NO!
"My ex and I got into a very public fight at a restaurant; it was about me being the maid of honor at my sister's destination wedding. My ex ended up storming out and disappeared for a whole week. When she came back, she acted like everything was resolved and she was ready to never speak of it again, and I was like, 'Yeah no, we're done, this has been the best week of our whole relationship.'"
- pooveyfarms
Scared to Death
"I’d been having stomach problems. I went to a gastroenterologist and he told me that he thought I had stomach cancer and he wanted to scope my stomach first thing the next morning."
"I was scared to death."
"My wife comes home from work and I have her sit down. I tell her what the doctor said. I said I’ll need her to take me because I won’t be able to drive afterward."
"She said, 'But I don’t want to miss work.'"
"That’s the exact moment I knew my marriage was over."
"Found out later she was cheating with a younger man, father of three, and it would have messed up their schedule of 'working late.'”
"Note: turned out I didn’t have cancer."
- TheMadIrishman327
LOUD
"When the silence became louder than the conversations."
- CharmingCassy
"It's funny, but I had the exact opposite. On our first date, we were driving together to our date location, and there were times when the conversation would lapse into silence. And these lulls just felt so... comfortable... that I started falling in love right there. We've been married 21 years so far."
- kamuelak
"This is the big one for me. If I no longer care to argue/debate/resolve/converse about things with you, it's over because I literally have nothing left to say to you."
- LettuceTurnip_
Over It
"I think when you don't care anymore. About conversations, about your common needs, about your partner's presence nearby."
- Gitaraa
Bored Spongebob Squarepants GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
When You're Young
"There's always a moment when we have plans, and I dread seeing them. That's when they have to go."
- oeeiae
"Stayed in too many relationships because I thought it was normal not to enjoy spending time with your partner that much. That we all needed lots of friends or family to have fun and partners were just the romantic piece of our lives. Obviously, I was really young and naive then because that sounds ridiculous thinking back. However, my current partner is now someone I want with me all the time, bc they are my best friend/chosen family first and foremost, and the romantic benefits are just an added bonus. 😊"
- whotoldbrecht
Mean Spirited
"When he made me almost cry at my birthday brunch in front of my friends and smirked like it was funny after humiliating the s**t out of me. The lowest point in my life towards the end of it."
"For context, I (19F) was in a relationship with a guy (19M) for over a year or so and while I understand that he is autistic as am I, and struggles to understand socially appropriate boundaries and people's feelings at times, the relationship began to become emotionally abusive and strained at times, also due to the contributing red flag behavior of his father, who began to micromanage and control my life and shame me for not being able to always visit and stuff like that."
"I was the one who broke things off much to my own shame, as it was spontaneous after I suffered a panic attack in the mall during a date, and it spiraled out of control after that when his father berated my parents over text messages and I cried all the way home in the car, and my parents were confused and deeply upset."
- No-Impact-2222
Repeat issues
"I think any clear sign is distance. When your partner is avoidant, unengaged, and wants more space out of the blue, it's usually a sign. If you're in a long-term relationship and your partner has a problem with something or someone they will usually provide details about what's going on, even if they are mad at you they'll usually be upset and start some sort of argument. When things get abnormally quiet it's likely because they are the problem and there's nothing for you to do or fix, they could also be tired of a repeated issue that is likely not to change."
- UncommonTruths
Be Better
"Whenever I told him I was unhappy and wanted to leave him, he started naming off all the things I had asked from him over our entire marriage. He said 'I want to be better for you! I want to go to therapy, get you flowers, celebrate holidays together, spend time with our families together, play fewer video games, watch a movie you want to see, go on dates every other week' and it made me realize that he had always been listening to me ask for all these things, he had just been actively choosing to not do them for me because he didn’t give a s**t about me."
- Puzzleheaded-Bit-740
Normal
"Enjoying alone time sometimes is normal, but I found myself regularly getting excited if he was going on trips or social outings without me."
Season 2 Goodbye GIF by Nanalan'Giphy
For the Best
"When she changed her views on having children. I've always wanted to have a big family, and over the course of our relationship, she has really changed her views. Wasn't something we had a big blowout over, just a disagreement on what we wanted for our lives. The exact line, that I told her was 'I will always love you, but if we get married one of us will always resent the other.' When I said that to her, we both realized the relationship was over. An amicable breakup, for the best."
- Upper-Tomorrow-5963
Blue in the Face
"Unchanged behavior. You can communicate until you’re blue in the face, but the relationship is done when you’re putting in all of the effort to make it work and they can’t even remember what you’re upset about. Even if you’ve told them multiple times."
"It’s basically saying they don’t care if you’re unhappy as long as they’re happy/content in the relationship."
- Jay-Writer
Shut Away
"My ex would come home half an hour before me due to finishing work early. Would immediately shut himself in his study to the game and I’d come home and our dog would be lying in front of his door looking so sad. I can count on one hand the number of walks he took her on in the year we had her together. I have to believe these people aren’t really human if they can completely shut out that kind of unconditional love."
- mezmezmez
3 Days
"I think when we went like 3 days no communication and I wasn’t upset nor cared. She was like dead to me and it didn’t bother me at all."
- The3rdPedal23
"The damn same thing happened to me. After 3 days of no communication (she gave me the silent treatment) I felt nothing and just let it go."
- Imperialtech69
Move On Ok GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy
Wow, a lot of people learn to live in silence.
Let that be lesson one. If you haven't spoken to one another in a few days... RED FLAG!
We can't be afraid to move on.
Moving on is healthy. Let's try to be healthy!
Right?!
The signs are most definitely signing.
@sama/X
