WARNING-THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR THE UNDER 17 CROWD
The first myth to debunk is that sex is always beautiful and clean.
WRONG! It's messy and there is more clean-up involved than a soap spill at Target.
There are a lot of components to sex.
You can get injured. You can, I can't tell you how many people I know who have dislocated a hip, a knee or a shoulder.
And all before hitting their 40s!
There is no one perfect way. Not everybody is meant to be the energizer bunny. And sometimes, it's ok of you'd rather just read or sleep.
RedditorThePerksOfBeingAlivewanted to discuss the carnal pleasures of life and all of it's nonsense, they asked:
"What are some myths about sex that just annoy you?"
Stop watching movies or porn as 'how-to' guides for sex. And throw away those trashy romance novels.
All Night No
Tired Real Housewives GIFGiphy"That going ‘all night long’ is a requirement to being good in bed. I got work tomorrow baby." ~ americanbj27
You will Live
"If you have sex you will get chlamydia and die." ~ not-your-supervisor
"And the biggest thing that most people don't realize is that chlamydia isn't even a big deal. You can have an active infection for years without knowing. It may affect your fertility and sometimes may cause painful intercourse, but for most people it's completely asymptomatic."
"Treating it is as simple as a short antibiotics course. The stigma is far worse than the disease, which is why it will never be eliminated. People are too scared to tell their partners when/if they test positive. Edit: like really, it's one of the, if not the easiest, STD to cure. Often all you need is a single dose antibiotic. One pill. One time. That's it." ~ Choice_Importance_21
Normal
"When you finish early she'll be annoyed."
"You can't be a pornstar all the time. Sometimes you finish early, sometimes you won't finish at all, sometimes you have trouble getting an erection and sometimes you'll have sex with her for an hour. It's normal." ~ ProfilerXx
For the very...
"That you can't get pregnant when it's your first time. I heard that one a lot." ~ CptZack01
"You can get high your first time but that doesn't necessarily mean you will. I know from personal experience. I also didn't get buzzed the first time I drank but that probably had more to do with the fact I had like half a beer before I couldn't stand the taste any more." ~ EvilSporkOfDeath
Paper or Rock?
Girl Pink GIF by Katie PriceGiphy"That the most common position in lesbian sex is scissoring. Like i can’t even get into that position without pulling a muscle." ~ Toilet-Sock
Sleep. And survival. What is with death defying sex acts? Why is everyone so extra?
Losing Senses
season 1 friends GIFGiphy"Masturbation leads to blindness." ~ M-Badry24
"A father told his son 'quit masturbating or you’ll go blind!' The son says 'dad I’m over here.'" ~ robles103
The Routine...
"In the movies, it looks like women have sex and just roll over and go to sleep. I’m sorry but if you don’t pee or clean afterwards, you’re going to get a UTI." ~ kcelaynes
"over for you"
"That erectile dysfunction only happens to old/broken men and that when it happens it's 'over for you.' It's more common than most people think and in today's stressful times can happen to anybody. The manhood ending myth of it usually makes the issue worse than it originally is." ~ Zaihron
"Yeah my husband has had this issue since way before we met. He has a big workplace stress issue and it's difficult for him to shut his anxiety off. For the first few years I thought it was my fault. But it has improved a lot in the past few years. But at the time the feeling of inadequacy on his part made the issue way worse." ~ Thatdeathlessdeath
Sizing up...
"Having a large penis makes you good at sex. I especially hate that one." ~ Zeniyah
"Those are the people that think size is everything, and it's just dumb. No point in having something big if you don't know how to use it." ~ Its_Hiro-
"Its not the weapon, it's how you use it." -Sun Tzu... Maybe." ~ D4KU004
Bad Method
Antoine Dodson Reaction GIFGiphy"That the pull out method is 100% reliable." ~ TheLiteraryBookworm
"100% sure someone reading this IS a pull out baby." ~ srgbski
Ancient Info
"That she can’t get pregnant if she’s on top lmao some people actually believe that." ~ ebonerr
"The myth dates back to ancient times. In Ancient Rome they believed that women had to lay perfectly still for conception to work. So prostitutes were very active in sex because it prevented pregnancy." ~ gentlybeepingheart
Try and Try Again...
"The first time I finally got to have sex with my girlfriend at the time, I was very horny, we made out, foreplay, I performed some oral on her. Yet, when the moment of intercourse came about, I couldn't get an erection to save my life. Worse, this happened even the second time, which really made me panic. On top of that, all of the combined horny made my testicles hurt."
"The girl started crying that she's unappealing or something. Everything worked the 3rd time around, though. God bless her patience. I think it was a combination of porn addiction, performance anxiety and good old nerves. Nothing of the sort happened to me ever since." ~ Tourqon
No Thanks...
"That men are always ready to have sex at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I’m just tired and not in the mood." ~ Ok-Ad-2605
"I was on Livial for a while in 2020 and it annihilated my sex drive. Then on the rare occasions I could get it up it took absolutely ages to finish. The orgasm was always crap as well, like a little whimper. My wife, who is wonderful and understanding etc, initially freaked out specifically because of the 'men are always good to go' messaging. It. Is. Everywhere." ~ Regrettable_tattoos
Not Me!
american pie jims dad GIFGiphy"That there are dozens of horny and neglected MILFs in my neighborhood just waiting to get it on with me." ~ MrFantasticallyNerdy
"The first part is probably true. The second part not so much." ~ hakuna_tamata
Backdoor Policy
"For people who are interested in/enjoy anal: 'It’s going to hurt regardless, that’s part of the fun.' Yeah, that’s bull. First, you need to be using the thickest lube you can find, ideally water-based. Vaseline, soap, spit, etc is not going to cut it, no matter what porn/idiots say."
"Second, make sure that you are applying a generous amount to whatever is going up there. Third, if it hurts, STOP immediately as this can lead to tearing or other issues that could require medical attention. In short, it shouldn’t hurt. Ever." ~ PickleBoy223
Many Flavors
"That missionary is vanilla or boring. I've had plenty of sex, missionary is by far my favorite. There are so many varieties of the position you can smoothly glide into mid-sex without it being clunky and awkward like with other positions. It is intimate, personal and sexy as hell. You can regulate speed and depth more easily than other positions too. What a great position. :) " ~ IonlyPlayAOE3
It's Ok
"That his lack of an erection means he isn't turned on/you're not pretty. I get it guys, it just doesn't happen sometimes. We can still make out." ~ Teacher_Crazy_
"Stress/fatigue/being distracted by too many thoughts could all be factors. It sounds stupid, but sometimes being too hot (temperature wise) can affect it too." ~ i69allthetime
Disaster
"That your first time is something magical instead of the f**king dumpster fire that actually is." ~ whyyou
"I was so nervous about being a minute man when I was a virgin... and I actually ended up having the opposite problem. It took me YEARS to learn how to finish from intercourse. I'd pretty much just go until the girl got tired. Then I'd have to finish myself." ~ esoteric_enigma
I'm Done
Frustrated Over It GIFGiphy"That people have sex for hours. After about 20 minutes I'm exhausted. People must be training for marathons or something and never told me." ~ Youwishitwasyou
Effort is Key
"That it's easy for women to orgasm through penetration alone. It's not. Yes, there might be some lucky ladies who can do it without much effort. But most of us need a little extra help. So don't feel bad if you can't do it. Same goes for the partner." ~ Vaalermoor
"I’ve literally been yelled at for not finishing from just vaginal alone and so many guys just don’t understand it. :/ " ~ Keledora