Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Explain Which Rules They Wish Everyone Would Follow

People Explain Which Rules They Wish Everyone Would Follow

People who cut the queue are going to hell, but they wouldn't if they just stopped their indecent behavior.

The same goes for people who leave their shopping carts in open parking lots rather than return them to the corral, and those who don't know how to merge onto the freeway.


"You can make everyone follow one rule you make: What is it?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor Lord_Smile, and needless to say, people went wild. Turns out there's a lot out there that bothers us.

"No speakerphone..."

Giphy

No speakerphone in public.

ViolinDC

"Service employees..."

Service employees are now legally required to physically fight one customer a day.

NanoBuc

"If you throw your butts..."

Giphy

If you throw your butts out the car window, a mysterious, compelling force will cause you to retrieve them and stick them up your bumhole.

PanickedPoodle

"News stories..."

News stories have to be 100% unbiased and truthful.

hamy_thepinkghost

"When you make a mistake..."

When you make a mistake, quickly take ownership, apologize and make right where possible.

On the counter: forgive that which is done wrong and don't make forgiveness conditional on atonement or apology.

JewsEatFruit

"LITERRING..."

Giphy

LITTERING WILL BE CONSIDERED A HATE CRIME AGAINST EARTH.

BWIPPS

"Every sentence..."

Every sentence must be finished with a noun that has absolutely nothing to do with the sentence spoken. (eg: Hey Billy, how's work been thermostat?) (eg: Little Darla hurt her knee when she fell off the swings death penalty.)

ErsatzCaptain

"I command everyone..."

I command everyone to consider how their actions will affect those around them.

ELPWork

Everyone must wash their hands every time they use the toilet ... yes, even you, Mr "I don't pee on my hands so I don't need to wash them."

davidtcook

"Everyone has to..."

Giphy

Everyone has to use the metric system.

sidmesh

More from People

Kid Rock
Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Kid Rock Dragged After Offering Massive Discount To His MAGA Festival Due To Abysmal Ticket Sales

Musician Kid Rock has hitched his wagon to president Donald Trump for quite some time now, and it seems he too is in the "find out" stage of that particularly exercise in FAFO.

It seems that when the president you form your entire personality around craters to a catastrophic approval rating even for him, your ship starts to sink too.

Keep Reading Show less
Dan Driscoll; Tammy Duckworth
Cheriss May/Getty Images; Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Army Secretary Sparks Outrage After Shutting Down Army Social Media Accounts For Honoring Tammy Duckworth's Military Service

Army Secretary Dan Driscoll is facing heavy criticism after he ordered that all accounts associated with the Army unit "Soldier for Life" (SFL) be shut down after the unit shared a post on social media celebrating Illinois Democratic Senator Tammy Duckworth's military service.

Duckworth is a double amputee who lost both of her legs in combat in 2004 when her Black Hawk helicopter was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade fired by Iraqi insurgents.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshot of Tom Homan; Pope Leo XIV
Fox News; Vatican Media/Vatican Pool - Corbis/Getty Images

Trump's Border Czar Ripped For Hypocrisy After Telling Pope Leo To 'Stay Out Of Politics'

President Donald Trump's border czar Tom Homan was called out for hypocrisy after telling Pope Leo XIV to "stay out of politics" after he clashed with Trump over the widely unpopular war in Iran.

Last week, Pope Leo criticized the war and called on the world "to reject war, especially a war which many people have said is an unjust war, which is continuing to escalate and is not resolving anything."

Keep Reading Show less
Dave Chappelle speaks at the premiere benefitting the Duke Ellington School of the Arts.
Arturo Holmes/Getty Images

Dave Chappelle Just Criticized MAGA Politicians For 'Weaponizing' His Anti-Trans Jokes—But He's Not Getting Much Sympathy

Dave Chappelle seems super duper surprised that people took his punchlines exactly as he delivered them. Back in 2021, he carelessly ranted about trans people during his Netflix special The Closer, setting off immediate backlash.

The comedian’s so-called “joke” that kicked off the controversy:

Keep Reading Show less
Ariana Grande and Robert De Niro in 'Focker-in-Law'
Universal Pictures/Paramount Pictures

Fans Are Shook After Hearing Ariana Grande's 'Normal' Speaking Voice In New 'Focker-In-Law' Trailer

We've met the parents-in-law, we've met the Fockers, we've invited a few little Fockers into the world, and now, the Circle of Trust is ready to get a little bit bigger with a Focker-in-Law.

Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro are back as Greg Focker and Jack Byrnes in the Focker universe as the somewhat maladjusted, sensitive guys with an overbearing, former interrogator father-in-law who have learned over the years how to coexist, if not even trust each other a little bit.

Keep Reading Show less