Age gaps are one of those relationship dynamics that people tend to have a strong opinion about.
Some see age gaps as an immediate red flag, especially if the younger person is somewhere between the age of 18 and early 30s, while others state that the age gap won't feel so big when both people are in their 80s and 90s, so what does it really matter?
But one universal question seems to be how relationships like this begin.
Someone who has never been in a relationship with a significant age gap might wonder how they could find an agreeable person to date or even how the opportunity introduces itself in the first place.
Curious, Redditor Neat-Rush8937 asked:
"To those who had a relationship or slept with someone with a big age gap, how did it happen?"
Simple As That
"I was 24, and she was 36. She was a family friend."
"I just messaged her on Facebook spontaneously, and she asked what was for breakfast. I told her chorizo and eggs, and she asked if she could join. I obliged."
"The relationship lasted 10 years."
- Taco_Eater521
That'll Do It
"I went to a bar with my mom when I was 23. The door guy asked me for my number."
"He was good--looking and in great shape but obviously much older than me. He was 37. I gave it a shot."
"We dated for eight months. He seemed great, had a day job working with disabled people, was very stable, good with money, even-tempered, and health conscious."
"But he was also the biggest cheater ever."
- Fickle_Freckle
"Me reading this: Okay. Okay. Nice. Check. Good. Okay."
"...Oh."
- Sex_Haver9113
Wanted But Not Meant To Be
"My boyfriend was 17 years younger, and I was 50 at the time. He was and is one of the sweetest humans I've ever met. He was getting over a divorce when we met."
"I had a small business, a home, a community I loved. He wanted to move back to the Colorado mountains and live in a cabin. He wanted to marry me and we would be so happy in the wilderness."
"Sigh. No. We text regularly still. He always tells me he still loves me."
"To be honest, I love him too. But a woman in her 70s is not a good match for a healthy man in his 50s, and I'm smart enough to know that."
- Any_Assumption_2023
"I just want to say that you are a rare type of person, and I hope good things happen for you."
- Known_Animator_3308
"Thank you."
- Any_Assumption_2023
Shared Interests Make A Difference
"We hit it off through a book club. Age didn’t matter because we were both passionate about the same stories and ideas."
- Love_Baby08
"My husband and I started talking about dogs and movies. I was 22 and he was almost 36. We felt comfortable together. We just happened to have an age gap. Now we are 36 and 50."
- hot_site_1576
Sometimes The Numbers Don't Matter
"My boyfriend is 12 years older than me and only six years younger than my mom, but she had me young at 18. I’m also only 10 years older than his son."
"When you do the math, it’s weird to think about, but we fit really well together."
"None of our friends or families blinked when meeting either of us because they didn’t realize our age difference, and by then, they didn’t care."
"We’re expecting our first child in March, and our families are more excited than we are, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Other_Bookkeeper_270
Keeping It Simple
"I met a woman on Tinder who is ten years older than me. I’m 34 and she is 44."
"It felt weird at first, but I get along with her better than any of my previous partners. Age ain’t nothing but a number is a real thing, to be honest."
"The big thing is she has kids, and I don’t, but right now, we’re just keeping things between us to keep things simple."
"If we end up getting more serious and stay together long term, I think she’ll meet my folks, and I’ll meet her kids. I don’t know what the future holds, but she is an awesome person, so I don’t think I’d be opposed to that happening. Being a step parent seems pretty intimidating, though."
- Safe-Room-5487
A Few Weeks Only
"I was 20 and she was 49. I was hanging out at a bar when she walked in. She recognized some of the regulars, and I did, too."
"We struck up a conversation and surprisingly found we had a lot in common. We dated for a few weeks, but then it just fizzled out."
- 2sweet1tie
"Same story here, ages 25 and 53. Her daughter is a decent bit older than me."
"We chit-chatted at the bar, went back to her place, and repeated that for a few weeks, and then it quietly fizzled out as friends."
- BurritoDog
An Unexplainable Occurrence
"Sometimes it just happens when you least expect it and can't really explain it."
- CozyElowen
"My relationship with an older woman just fell into my lap out of nowhere. Not complaining at all as she’s a very nice woman."
- smalltiefling
A Hobby Community
"When I was a teenager, I got involved with a hobby that peaked in popularity around the time I was born."
"In college (this is around 30 years ago), I started attending conventions and meeting other devotees in person. Most of them were 15 to 20 years older than me."
"I also started being part of an Internet community. Almost all of my friends that I made as an adult were from this same hobby. Some people treated me as a peer, some as a little sister hanging around."
"A bunch of us all traveled to this one event, and my now husband was a friend of the people I was traveling with. It's like I didn't meet a stranger, but a vetted respected member of our community."
"When we met, I was 21 and he was 40. We got together a year later. Now we are 49 and 68, and we just celebrated our 22nd anniversary."
"The first other devotee I met was when I was 16 and this guy was 29. He lent me books and other media, we hung out a lot (in public), and he gave me rides a couple of times. Looking back, it was strictly above board, but I was lucky. We're still in touch."
- annefr26
Different Places Mentally
"40 with a 28-year-old girlfriend was fun. We met at work and hit it off, but after trying a relationship, we were just too far apart mentally."
"I don't want a partner I have to explain everything to feeling like I'm being overbearing, but they're all, 'No, that's fine, tell me what to do.' I want someone to tell me what to do and maybe have a little argument now and then if we dont agree."
- bigfathairyfeather
Happily Ever After
"I'm 30, and he is 48. We have been together for two years. I met him on Grindr as a casual hook-up, and we fell in love with each other."
"I left my job and moved with him 400km away from home. I have never been happier."
- lizar93
In-Between Relationships
"When I was 43 (Male) and newly out of a long-term relationship, I had a couple of short relationships, a few months apart (slightly more than flings) with a 27-year-old and a 29-year-old."
"The 27-year-old was long distance and we met because we had mutual friends on Facebook and she specifically messaged me to flirt. It ended because it was long distance, really. No harm, no foul; we still are slightly in touch."
"The 29-year-old, I met on Tinder and was a little fast to push for the boyfriend-girlfriend label. I broke it off because, frankly, I eventually got the impression that she was not single and I was her side piece."
"Both admitted to having a thing for older dudes, and neither lasted long enough for any age gap stuff to get weird."
"About six months later, I met a gal five years older than me. We’ve been together six years and married for one."
- UnzippedButton
Growing And Changing Together
"We met at work. She was 38, and I was 24, both female. I thought she was straight, and so did she."
"We were friends, I always fancied her but didn’t know she felt the same. It only took three and a half years before she told me how she felt, and we’ve been together ever since!"
"Best relationship I’ve ever had. She’s my best mate and the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. Age doesn’t really come into it, we’re just people who fell in love!"
- No_Length_5567
Not A Good Look
"When I was 17, I slept with the woman who worked at the car dealership where I bought my first car."
"She was 31 and married at that time, which I didn’t know. She was living with a friend, and we started kinda seeing each other."
"Then one day, there was a brand new man’s watch in her room, which was clearly a gift she was gonna give to someone."
"Stupidly, I thought it might be me, but she explained to me that it was for her husband, they were trying to reconcile, and we couldn’t see each other anymore."
"Good, because I hated that stupid watch anyway."
- Deaf_Cam
Fit Like A Puzzle Piece!
"I’m 28 and she’s 42. We’re having a baby girl next month, and we've been together for two years in January. She is the greatest partner I could have ever imagined, and she came with three kids who all love me."
- CortLoin13
While most of these relationships ended at some point, many of them were incredibly happy and fulfilling for the time in which they lasted. Sometimes age really is just a number, and while that number sometimes can get in the way, other times, it can make the relationship that much better.
@cashingpropss/X