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It's a maxim as old as time that money doesn't buy class.
But some rich people really go the extra mile to underline, bold and italicize the saying.
Papa John's founder John Schnatter is one of them.
He recently gave an MTV Cribs-style tour of his mansion on TikTok, and it is among the gaudiest and most bonkers things ever created. Brace yourself.
Schnatter's $11 million dollar mansion is the most expensive house in Louisville, Kentucky according to USA Today, which makes it all the more shocking. As Dolly Parton famously said, "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap" and Schnatter seems to have taken that to heart.
See for yourself...
The first surprising thing about this tour is Schnatter opening it by introducing himself as Papa John.
Because, he's not Papa John anymore and hasn't been since he stepped down as CEO and chairman in 2017 and 2018, respectively, following a series of racially charged and misogynist scandals, including one in which he used the n-word on a conference call.
But then you get to the actual house and it all gets so much weirder.
There's turrets and a moat, for starters. And doors that look like they lead to some kind of Renaissance dungeon or something.
And then there's the piece de resistance. Behold the enormous, ornate sculpture that is literal stories high, which, Schnatter explains, depicts two bald eagles mating in midair.
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But in case you're not suitably impressed, Schnatter informs us that it's not just a sculpture.
It's also a clock that spins four times an hour.
Naturally, Twitter had an absolute field day with this so-called "house."
@TaylorLorenz @nycsouthpaw Ah, the house that cardboard tasting pizza laced with racism made.— Dixieann (@Dixieann) 1589387595.0
@TaylorLorenz @nycsouthpaw Did he say 'eagles mating'? In his foyer? Really?— Jim Bradley (@Jim Bradley) 1589387548.0
@TaylorLorenz He lives in a Cheescake Factory? @MaxKriegerVG— Judah (@Judah) 1589387361.0
Papa John's: making the case for eating the rich, not the pizza. https://t.co/RqMeRMQ9Lj— Jess Phoenix 🌋 (@Jess Phoenix 🌋) 1589408288.0
@TaylorLorenz In the DSM-5, under “male depression” you’ll find this TikTok.— Chen Zhang (@Chen Zhang) 1589388003.0
@TaylorLorenz https://t.co/MHAAoQPUqm— AnyankaLuvsBunnies (@AnyankaLuvsBunnies) 1589387563.0
the 30m unemployed americans want nothing more than to see the horrendously enormous and enormously horrendous mans… https://t.co/Jb8hyg2Znn— David Mack (@David Mack) 1589390304.0
I want to see the gigantic closet full of boot-cut jeans https://t.co/OMFR7oaEpF— Chris Packham (@Chris Packham) 1589448868.0
this makes me long for death https://t.co/TI1pEkqns5— dog with a sword 🗡🐶 (@dog with a sword 🗡🐶) 1589393718.0
Schnatter also teases a tour of his library, but if you want to actually see inside the sanctum where he "films a lot of footage" and "writes letters," you'll have to wait for the forthcoming Part 2 of the tour.
Hope you can stand the suspense...
The book Interior Desecrations: Hideous Homes from the Horrible '70s is available here.