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People Share The Best NSFW Facts About Historical Figures They Know

They leave out so many juicy tidbits when teaching history.

Even when we get into college years, there is still a ton you don't hear about until you're a senior citizen.

There should be a "History: XXX" class.

I had to suffer through World Civ. Geesh.

A little extra naughty goes a long way in education.

So tells us some sassy secrets.


Redditor gosty_the_brave24 wanted everyone to spread a little history.

So they asked:

"What's an NSFW facts about a historical figures that we don't learn in school?"

This thread maybe slightly inappropriate for readers under 17. So NC-17

Educational, but inappropriate.

Clothes Off

Shaking Cold Weather GIF by funkGiphy

"Victor Hugo wrote in the nude as a form of motivation. He was a horrible procrastinator so he would lock himself in a room and have his clothes taken as encouragement to get his work done (because he was cold). When he was finished, he'd get his clothes back."

retro-petro

How Wonderous

"Wonder Woman was created by a polyamorous man who was (a) a feminist, (b) a kinkster, and (c) living with two bisexual women. Wonder Woman was influenced by at least one of his wives, and started as a very overt, kinky, empowering sex symbol for women, and was nearly cancelled because of how explicitly she was being depicted. It's supposed that her rope of truth was partly inspired by rope play in BDSM."

ray25lee

Zelda Lies

"F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife, Zelda, told him that the way he was built, he would never please a woman. He confessed this to Hemingway in a French bar, and Hemingway told him to meet him in the bathroom where he looked at Fitzgerald's penis and told him he was 'perfectly fine.'"

littleredridinghood6

Ummm...

"Emperor Nero kicked his wife Poppaea to death. He later found a slave boy named Sporus who looked like Poppaea, had him castrated, and kept him as his wife. After the death of Nero, Sporus was taken by Nymphidius Sabina, who treated Sporus as his wife. But Sabina was murdered by his guards when he tried to become Emperor. Sporus was next taken by the Emperor Otho, who had once been married to Poppaea until Nero took her away from him."

"Otho called Sporus Poppaea and took him as his wife. Otho was murdered shortly afterwards. Otho's rival, Vitellius, planned on using Sporus in a reenactment of the Rape of Peroserpina in the Colosseum, but Sporus committed suicide."

FireFlinger

Domino's?

Pizza Pizza Pizza Dancing GIF by Domino’s UK and ROIGiphy

"The Boris Yeltsin pizza incident, in which the former Russian leader was found in just his underwear outside the Whitehouse hailing a cab so he could go get pizza... https://www.politico.com/blogs/on-congress/2009/09/yeltsin-drunk-in-his-underwear-hailing-a-cab-021553"

fezwang

I just don't find pizza THAT appealing.

Falling Apart

tales from the darkside 80s GIFGiphy

"Herodotus, an ancient Greek Historian once stated that female mummies who passed away in Ancient Egypt were found more decomposed than male mummies. The reason being was that the females were kept at home for longer periods of time before sent for embalming to prevent necrophilia."

Icarithan

It did not work...

"Not quite a historical figure but John Pemberton, the inventor of Coca Cola, did so because he was chronically addicted to morphine and was trying to get off of it. Original ingredients were cocaine (famously), sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. He was trying to supplant his other addiction. It did not work."

Nightjar82

"So another thing about Pemberton that I learned very recently was that he served as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Confederate army during the Civil War. His morphine addiction you were talking about was actually something he developed after being stabbed with a sword during a battle."

TylerD1528

In Public

"John Quincy Adams boasted that outdoor sex was an American invention. Between that, his pet alligator, and a life spent in public service (literally from his teenage years until his death), probably far more interesting than most people who've held high office in the USA."

Bowmore34yr

"Also swam nude in the Potomac, daily, when he was president."

costabius

Build It

"The new UK monarch King Charles III great-great-grandfather Edward VII was so obese that he commissioned a french carpenter to build a chair that would enable him to have sex with one or two people at once. It is called the siege d'amour and was installed at his favourite brothel."

haveasliceofpizza

Oh Mary

frankensteins monster frankenstein GIFGiphy

"The author of Frankenstien lost her virginity on her mother's grave."

Unique_Finance_2358

"In the version I saw, her father didn't approve of the relationship, so she told him she was visiting her mother's grave to avoid suspicion and then met her guy there for sexy time."

Agitated_Ad7576

Well that is a whole lot of mess. Goodness.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

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