People Share The Most 'WTF' Thing Their Parents Have Ever Said

The amount of things my mother has said to me that has left me gobsmacked is endless.

I should've kept a journal.

Comedy gold.

The Proof

"After I told my mother that I didn't open up to her or my dad because I didn't trust them with my emotions, she started screaming that she hated me. Like, girl, this is exactly why I don't tell you things 😂."

LandPiranha63

Lessons Learned

"My mom told me that women pooped babies out of their butt. I believed this until I was 12 or 13. Boy, I got laughed at when I used this as my answer when asked in Sex Ed."

Eastern-Operation275

"I (27 F) have divorced parents and my mom always taught me the proper anatomy for things and that it's nothing shameful. On the other end, one day when I was at my dad's, a stray cat gave birth on his porch, and my stepsisters (same age) told my half-sister that it was coming out of the cat's butt, and I was like dude what? I questioned them, and they gave me scornful looks like I just said something offensive. LOL."

SpaceTimeBurrito

SURPRISE!!!

"A few months ago I had gone to do a surprise visit to my grandparents on my dad’s side. While I was driving up their property I saw them walking in their groceries and witnessed seeing my dad for the first time. I had never met my dad in my life but knew my grandparents."

"I walked up and greeted my grandmother and she ushered me over to talk to my father. As I went to greet him this dude threw his hood on and jumped in his truck and locked the doors and said no words to me. Never in my life have I witnessed a grown man run away like that."

Dabtoker3000

Facts...

"My father once told me that between my brother and I, I was his favorite. This caught me off guard because I thought parents weren’t supposed to have favorites."

fun_Dip_fan

"My dad once told me I’m not his favorite. So I told him he’s not my favorite either. Proceeded to get angry."

Honest_Math_7760

"It's problematic to share with your kids that you have a favorite."

LackEfficient7867

Bald Choices

"I shaved my head at 21 and kept that hairstyle for the last 28 years. My dad walked into my room when I was 26 and asked me for a comb! He looked at me, thought about it for a second, and laughed. RIP dad. I miss you."

Content-Damage8406

It's my hair. I'll do what I want to.

That's the kid's motto.

Adults not so much.

At least that was my experience.

Why Bother?

"When I called my mother to find out a good time of year to visit her she said, 'What for?'"

Space_T0ilet

Sure Papa Joe!

"Wasn’t my parents but my Grandpa."

“'Josh can you take me to see Marge?' Marge was his long-time girlfriend who had Alzheimer’s. My GP was in his 70s at the time and we took away his car because he was a dangerous man behind the wheel, to say the least. 'Sure Papa Joe!' That or PJoe was his nickname."

"Drive him to the place Marge was cared for at. Stop at the front and ask 'How long until I come back?' He replied 'Give me an hour. That should be long enough for us to have sex.' I start crying laughing and he leaves with a giant smirk. I could never look at him again without thinking or saying 'Almost 80 and still getting after it, WTF!"

ackbosh

The Joker

"Oof. I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. I decided to reach out (for certain reasons and not to restart a relationship). He asked if he could ask me about my life. I let him. I told him, among other things, I was in a wonderful relationship with a terrific gal."

“'Is this a real relationship or like the girlfriends I had when I was with your mother.'”

"I was equally glad I disowned him 15 years ago, disappointed a man and a father would speak like that to his estranged son, and angry that he was the father I was born to. He is just one big joke to me."

Silence-brothers

Chop Chop

"I would often visit the kitchen to watch how my mother cooks. One day when my father saw me coming out of the kitchen, he said 'You keep visiting the kitchen, your penis and testicles are gonna fall off. That’s how girls are made.” Context: I was 7 when he said that to me and we are a Korean family."

DeepSleepr

Learning to cook, is a great survival skill.

More dads need to get onboard with that.