Missouri McDonald's Spars With Dairy Queen As Shady 'Sign War' Hilariously Escalates

The town of Marshfield, Missouri is a sleepy southern space most people had never heard of. As of 2020, the town boasted about 7,500 people which is ... not many.

For some places that's a school population, but for Marshfield that's everybody and when a town is that small it means everybody is sort of in everybody's business.

And everybody's businesses are in on the joke.

See, things run a little different in smaller towns. Rigid corporate standards have a bit more leeway, marketing is a little more personal, and the fast food slings faster comebacks. Also, apparently, the folks in charge of signage have lots of time on their hands.

Time enough to get themselves fully embroiled in a sign war, at least. A sign war which the internet is now fully and deeply invested in.

It started simply enough.

McDonald's changed their sign to read "Hey DQ! Do you wanna have a sign war?"

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

That opening volley was brushed off with a perfect example of snide Southern shade: "We would but we're 2 busy making ice cream."

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Now, if you don't live in the South and/or aren't fluent in passive-aggressive communication, you may have missed the subtle setup here. By bringing up ice cream, a known "weak spot" for McDonald's, DQ is essentially offering them one last chance to bow out before things get feisty.

It's like a gentle "don't start none, won't be none" nudge.

McDonald's sign person was clearly here for all this smoke, firing back by calling that "cute."

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

DQ's shady southern sign queen fired back exactly what you'd expect them to.

You know you thought it, too.

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

So remember when I said this was a small town and small towns just do things a little differently?

If you're having a good time reading this, and you're invested in the shade, imagine how they felt about the free entertainment.

Oh wait, you don't have to because they're happy to tell us via sign!

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

McDonalds took that ice cream machine comment a little personally, but was able to rebound with some product placement.

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Dairy Queen wasn't done yet, though.

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Neither was Ronald and his crew.

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

DQ chose violence.

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Other nearby businesses just couldn't resist joining in and having a little fun, too.

Because is it really small town life if completely unrelated people don't get involved in your beef?

No, it's not.

It's also way less fun. Forget saving the drama for your mama - the entire local chamber of commerce wants in on this!

We're not kidding. These pics literally came from the chamber of commerce.

Small town, big humor.

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

Marshfield Area Chamber of Commerce/Facebook

We don't know for sure if this sign war has generated more business for these companies, but it's certainly entertaining people on Facebook.

The Chamber of Commerce shared some pictures of the sign war and the post now has far more comments and shares than there are people who live in Marshfield, Missouri.

It's not even close.

Nearly 150k people have seen or commented on this as we write this.

This works in Marshfield, in part, because these businesses are all close together and many of them can see one anothers' signs.

There's no telling how much bigger it could get in the next few days.