Happily Married Couples Share Unorthodox Advice On How To Keep The Spark Alive

There are few feelings better than that of being in love.

Even so, all couples worry that the spark in their marriage or relationships might not burn quite as bright as time passes on, or fade away completely.

This leads to many couples to follow some fairly traditional routes to remain every bit as in love as when they first met, such as a regular date night, romantic getaways, or just simple gestures here and there.

Many couples, however, have unique methods to make sure their spark never goes out.

Redditor B0llfondlr was curious to learn about all the unusual methods couples had for keeping their marriages happy and healthy, leading them to ask:

"Happily married people of reddit, what is one unorthodox piece of advice that keeps the relationship going?"

A Dish Best Served Cold... Not Conducive To Sparks...

"Never take revenge, especially on your spouse."

"If she/he hurts you, tell them."

"Not say something or do something back to hurt them to feel justified."- Stoopidee

No Two Words Make People Happier...

"Thank them for the little things that they do."

"They took out the garbage or they swept under the table."

"Acknowledge the little things so that they know you see them and all that they do for you and the family. It’s important to point out the big things but it’s the little things that go unspoken the most."

"Relationships crumble easily when one or both people don’t feel valued."

"Never let your SO go unappreciated."

"Not only is this a good way to make them feel valued but it also helps remind yourself of all they do for you."- SkuldtheNornir

There Is Always Someone Willing To Listen

"Couples counseling isn’t only for relationships that have issues."

"We went through a traumatic experience together and decided to go to counseling together to work through that experience."

"We have found it helpful for understanding how we each process things differently and have different communication styles."-LifesYourCreation926

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Number 1 Fan...

"Talk them up to others."

"Brag on them, bring up the good things they do, and make them sound fantastic."

"Don't lie- literally hype the things you love about them."

"They're your favorite person, be an unashamed fan."- deadlyhausfrau

There Will Always Be Ups And Downs

"My Great Aunt told me…. "

“'We were lucky enough to never fall out of love with each other at the same time'."

"This has proven to be sooooooo true."

"You will fall in and out of love like a roller coaster, but keep hold of the fact that falling back in not only happens, but is generally 10 times better than the last time around."

"We all change, we all learn, and we all adapt and there's absolutely nothing wrong with ending up as/with those reliable old pair of slippers that fit perfectly."- Christine4321

Loving Yourself Helps You Love Others

"Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to do everything and be together 24/7, personal space is important."- Miserable-Ad7835

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Threefold!

"I don't know if it's unorthodox, but:"

"You can be right, or you can be happy."

"If it really doesn't matter, just let it go instead of arguing to be right."

"Have your own interests."

"Everyone says do things together, and you should, that's important, but you need a release that's just you."

"Mine is martial arts, hers is running."

"Go to be angry."

"Sleep on it."

"You will have a fresh perspective in the morning."

"This is contrary to popular advice."- Searching4LambSauce

"You don’t have to agree/have the same opinion on EVERYTHING."- kelcity

No Chances Of Hogging!

"Separate comforters!"- my_username_is_okay

Honesty Is ALWAYS The Best Policy

"We have this rule that you never ever lie about being OK."

"Like if you feel something is off and you ask the other person if everything is alright, it is not allowed to say things are OK if something is wrong."

"It IS allowed to say 'I don't feel like talking about it right now' or something like that, and you respect it."

"But it gives such a sense of peace to always know you don't have to guess what the other one is feeling or try to understand if you have done something wrong and they are angry with you."

"It's difficult to accept that something is wrong and the other person is annoyed and wait until they are ready to discuss it, but it's worth it because you can always trust it when they say they are okay and because they have the change to think about what has made them sad/angry/annoyed and have a mature conversation about it instead of being pushed to talk about it when the you're still angry."- tordenskrald88

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One Soulmate Amongst A Circle Of Friends...

"It's not healthy to expect your spouse to fulfill every role in your life."

"If you expect them to be your best friend, lover, co-parent, confidant, biggest supporter, sounding board, advisor, etc."

"Then it's likely you'll end up disappointed, and resentment will build up."

"Build your own community of trusted friends, family, and colleagues to fulfill different needs."- cpbunliveson

Going With The Flow...

"Unorthodox?"

"Don’t question her decisions because you’re one of them."- dcidino

Never Assume The Worst

"If they’re going to cheat, policing them won’t prevent that."

"In 21 years of marriage, I’ve never opened my husband’s mail, looked through his mobile phone, checked his email account, or his DMs on social media."

"If he betrays me, I’ll deal with it when it happens."

"But it seemed pointless to marry someone I didn’t trust completely, so I went into this relationship with the attitude that he loves me and I don’t have anything to worry about, and it’s served me well."

"He’s always respected the faith I have in him."

"And he’s given that same trust in me."

"That’s why we work so well together."- Lynnfomercial

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Opposites Attract... To An Extent...

"Actually like and respect the person you marry."

"It may sound like silly and basic advice, but the number of people, especially young people, who confuse being attracted to someone with actually liking and respecting who they are as a person is unreal."

"While it’s fine to not agree on every subject, nothing kills a relationship faster than learning that you disagree on something you consider fundamentally important."

"Take the time to get to know each other."

"People focus too much on rushing towards the wedding or the marriage as if they’re the end goal, when the truth is that the end goal is the life you build together."

"It’s worth taking the time to make sure you’re actually compatible and making that foundation strong enough to withstand whatever life will throw in your path."- SeePerspectives

The Higher You Aim...

"Tons of awesome advice in here about what to do after you are married."

"I have a good one for before."

"Marry up."

"My wife is straight up a better person than me."

"She is calmer, more thoughtful, cleaner, a harder worker."

"Being with someone better than you inspires you to be better."

"The kicker, I’m pretty sure she feels the same way about me!"- dak52

Where There's Comfort...

"Comfortable silence is perfectly fine."- Rager_Doltrey

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Everyone has their own special tricks for keeping their marriage happy and healthy.

Of course, as long as there's chemistry... sparks are destined to ignite.