Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Ballsy Guy Goes Before City Commission To Propose Something Very NSFW 😮

Ballsy Guy Goes Before City Commission To Propose Something Very NSFW 😮
(C2 DJ/YouTube)
Make us preferred on Google

Chris Flowers, a proponent for happy endings in his town, went before the Lawrence, Kansas, City Commission and gave a persuasive, yet audacious, proposal that left the room speechless.

Instead of causing a scene by protesting outside the building, the kid did his homework by familiarizing himself with how the local government works and made a strong case by asking the city to adopt Ordinance No. 9324 - which refers to the licensing of body practitioners so that voluntary genital massages would be legalized.




He approached the podium as he initiated brief eye contact at the beginning. Once Flowers began to speak, the slightly nervous but resolute citizen kept his eye down on the paper and read aloud his carefully written proposal.

If licenses and regulations help stop sex trafficking, and if Kansas truly wanted to put an end to sex slavery, shouldn't they allow grown adults to engage in prostitution legally and then regulate and license that?

Flowers implied that preventing someone from engaging in something deemed illegal would only introduce those services into the black market where "shady stuff starts happening."

Giphy



As an example, he mentioned the time he and his friend unknowingly smoked laced marijuana, but noted that things changed after the legalization of pot in Colorado.

Now a lot of the marijuana being sold around here comes from dispensaries in Colorado, and you hardly ever hear tales anymore of people buying pot that's laced.

Flowers suggested the same rules would apply towards legalized and "reasonably regulated" prostitution. He argued that most people would seek "certified" prostitutes, which could potentially aid in the dissemination of sex crimes.





Here's his solution for getting rid of pimps and sex trafficking: allowing the masseurs to give genital massages – "if the masseur and the client both agree to it."



He argued that proctologists are already performing similar acts as a part of their examination process.

We let someone get naked and have every other part of their body touched and rubbed by a massage therapist. Hell, we let proctologists spend their day fingering men and sticking things up their anus, so if someone wants to yank a guy's crank I say let 'em.





His speech––which quickly garnered media attention–bordered on being a potential prank, but the kid brilliantly summed up his plea in this final statement :

This is about a group of people imposing their morality on the rest of society. If a grown adult wants a hand job and another grown adult is willing to give one for money, then let them.
That's both freedom and capitalism, and that's the foundation of our country.
If you have a problem with a genital massage, then don't get one. Allow other consenting adults do what they want. That would truly be a happy ending for everyone. Thank you.




Stunned silence filled the room as the young crusader quietly excused himself.




People online thought his speech was a masterstroke.





With his fairly articulated plea in the name of freedom and capitalism, you gotta hand it to Flowers––this upstanding citizen's got courage.


H/T - WhiskeyRiff, YouTube, Twitter

More from Trending

Screenshot of Ron DeSantis
Straight Shooter with Stephen A. Podcast

Ron DeSantis Just Ripped Republicans Who Claim That High Gas Prices Are 'No Big Deal'

On the eve of the midterm elections, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis surprised observers by criticizing Republicans who've downplayed the impact high gas prices have had on the electorate.

Americans continue to struggle with a nationwide affordability crisis hurting their wallets as well as at the pump. Because of the war President Donald Trump began with Iran earlier this year—and the continued blockade in the Strait of Hormuz—the global oil supply has been limited, causing a surge in prices.

Keep ReadingShow less
Abdul El-Sayed; JD Vance
Salwan Georges/Getty Images; Saul Loeb-Pool/Getty Images)

Victorious Abdul El-Sayed Points Out The 'Delicious Irony' Of What JD Vance Will Have To Do—And It's Too Good

After his historic defeat of Michigan Republican Mike Rogers in the state's U.S. Senate race, Democrat Abdul El-Sayed had observers cackling after he reminded his crowd of supporters that Vice President JD Vance will now have to swear him in.

It was a triumphant moment for El-Sayed, particularly after Vance had mispronounced his name at a rally on Friday at an Ohio steel plant before accusing him of arguing that "criticisms of Sharia law were rooted in white supremacy."

Keep ReadingShow less
Hillary Clinton; Donald Trump
Craig Barritt/Getty Images for Vox Media; Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Hillary Clinton Was Asked How Trump Has Changed Since Facing Off Against Him In 2016—And Her Answer Is Spot On

On the eve of the midterm elections, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told CNN anchor Anderson Cooper how President Donald Trump has changed since she ran against him in 2016.

So much has happened in the last 10 years and Clinton was clear that Trump's narcissism has gone off the rails and was kept far more in check during his first administration, when he had more competent people around him who were willing to tell him no and curbing his worst impulses.

Keep ReadingShow less
Amy Poehler
ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images

Amy Poehler Sparks Debate After Claiming She Was Forced To Leave 'SNL' After Giving Birth Despite Wanting To Return

It might be late 2026, but there are still plenty of women who find their work compromised, if not taken away entirely, when they decide to become moms.

With women facing unpaid maternity leave, their jobs being taken away while they're on leave, or their hours or pay being reduced after they give birth, new moms are losing work opportunities all the time.

Keep ReadingShow less

French Actor Léa Seydoux's Disgusted Reaction To Nearly Every Food Item In Tasting Interview Has The Internet Cackling

Remember being forced to try a food you already knew you weren't going to like? Maybe you took a tiny bite just to be polite, smiled through the disappointment, and quietly vowed never to eat it again.

Well, French actor Léa Seydoux wasn't about to pretend her taste buds approved during an Elle UK food-tasting interview, and the internet is having an absolute field day with her reactions.

Keep ReadingShow less