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Fanny Pack Crocs Are Here And They're The Fashion Accessory Nobody Asked For

Fanny Pack Crocs Are Here And They're The Fashion Accessory Nobody Asked For
Dina Rudick/The Boston Globe/Getty Images

Crocs and fanny packs combine to create a fashion abomination.

Matthew Livesey
By Matthew LiveseyMay 04, 2019
Matthew Livesey
Matt is a writer, designer, and native New Yorker. He has worked in film, where he enjoyed a brief career as a stand-in for Ian Holm; finance, where he pretended to understand his job, and real estate, where nothing remarkable happened. He writes about science, technology, and media. His work includes magazine articles, one published book, and the looming inevitability of the second.
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Just when you though they couldn't get any uglier, the fashion wizards at Crocs footwear decided to strap a fanny pack on the back of the infamous rubber eye sores.

Comfort we understand.

Who hasn't spent an entire weekend at home wearing pajama bottoms, a ratty old t-shirt and a light sprinkling of Cheetos dust?

But the question will always remain—how did the neon foam-resin monstrosities known as Crocs ever leave the feet of tired workers and enter into the limelight of pop-culture?

Well get ready, because they are about to get even worse.


Earlier this month Crocs launched a collaboration with the Japanese fashion brand Beams, announcing the unholy marriage between two of the worst atrocities ever committed in fashion, Crocs and fanny packs.

You have to see them to believe them, but why would you want to believe these exist?


GIPHY

The Crocs x Beams "Pocket Crocs" featured two small pouches, one on each ankle strap, which can of course be flipped forward to look even more stylish.

Offered in Ultraviolet or Tropical Teal the shoes are available on the Beams website for the low price of $53 and all your remaining self-respect.

Decent folks were of course appalled by the announcement and wondered how much pain the brand would continue to inflict on the world of fashion.











In true Crocs fashion though, scads of fans are lining up to ironically rock the new, even uglier Crocs.

In the world of Crocs uglier is apparently better.







If you're trying to comfort yourself with the thought "well, at least they can't get any uglier," remember that is what you used to think before Pockets Crocs were released.

These are just the second sign of the coming Crocpocalypse.

And in case you think those bright clogs are all Crocs offers, think again.

There are boots (available here)...

crocs.com

...loafers (available here)...

crocs.com

...wedges (available here)...

crocs.com

...platforms (available here)...

crocs.com

...and heels (available here).

crocs.com

Those fanny packs are looking right at home.

Sometimes you have to go with function over form; comfort over fashion.

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