I thought about being a delivery driver once.
Then I remembered the heinous pranks my friends and I would play on the pizza guys.
Shameful!
Also, after years of watching Dateline NBC, I'm not walking alone up to or into strangers' homes.
I can only imagine what some of these brave people walk away with burned on their psyche.
Redditor iicebath wanted to hear about all the crazy things delivery people have witnessed, so they asked:
"Delivery drivers of Reddit, what are some standout moments?"
Reminder: please tip generously because you never know what your delivery folks have been through that night.
Spark it Up
Chris Tucker Smoking GIFGiphy"A guy offered me weed. After I refused he insisted on giving me something, so he went opened a package of nutter butters. I grabbed a handful. They were good."
Tech_Enthusiast49376
WEEERRKKKK!!!
"Walked into a giant skyscraper in central London to deliver a parcel for a guy named Thomas, at the reception I'm told he will be in his office, so I walk in and find him dancing by himself in the corner with no music or AirPods or anything, he's facing the corner just doing the Carlton, so he had no idea I was just standing and watching."
"I leave the room and just try to reevaluate what I just witnessed, when I walk back in he is standing behind a table acting like nothing just happened. So I hand him my parcel and he just thanks me and signs for it. I have never got a delivery from Thomas to this day."
jamessaleh190e
Corpses
"I used to collect biohazards from doctors' offices, hospitals, and other places. I think people that work in funeral homes like to mess with the living. I saw way too many dead, naked bodies at that job. Did that job for 6 years and then went back to slinging office supplies. I have not seen a dead body since."
unhalfbricklayer
blah blah blah...
"I used to deliver Appliances for a major home improvement store. I'm at the end of my shift and standing at the back of the truck finishing up my paperwork in a... not great part of town. Suddenly I hear someone walking up behind me and turn to see three young men approaching my truck."
"My initial instinct is to just be, 'take what you want, blah blah blah,' but as soon as I'm about to go into my prepared statement the guy asks if I have any leftover boxes because they have to help his aunt move the next day. So I got rid of all my cardboard in one shot and had one less thing to worry about when I got back to the warehouse."
plucky13
Just Chill
Chill Leopard GIFGiphy"Delivered food to a guy on Friday afternoon. He answered the door in his hi-viz vest and tighty whities. I've never seen a man more chill with himself than that dude."
Thrownawaybyall
People really have no shame sometimes.
Not a Drop
Happy New Year GIFGiphy"I left the drinks on the roof of my car and made it to a stop light two turns away. A guy behind me got out of his car and handed me the drinks through the window and I was so shocked that nothing spilled I couldn't even thank him. I just exclaimed 'Omg how did they not spill!' and he ran back to his car."
unseenwreckage
'Oh, you're here!'
"Pre cell phone and gps days (1979), I was delivering carpets to an unfamiliar town. We got high to start the trip, lost the directions, but knew the address. We were so lost. We drove until we saw some people in a yard, and stopped to ask directions. Before we said anything, they said 'Oh, you're here!' We somehow found the right house. We dropped off the carpets, no complaints the next day. It must have been the right place."
eightfingeredtypist
Keep the Carvel
"Did Doordash for some extra cash on the weekends about 3 years ago. Had a Carvel order going to a funeral home. In my head I was thinking it was definitely a funeral where some kid was so upset that they ordered ice cream to calm them down and cheer them up. I arrive to the funeral home and it's empty."
"I knock on the front door and a few seconds later a dude answers in nothing but his boxers. Behind him another dude was looking at himself in the mirror that was hanging on the wall. That dude was also in nothing but his boxers. Weird sh*t to be happening inside of a funeral home."
F_a_username
Deliveroo
"I'll never forget when I worked for Deliveroo arriving at the customers door, lifting up the big bag of food to hand it to them, and the entire bottom of the bag fell out, leaving their whole order spilled across their door step. I remember their face of pure shock so vividly. I offered to help clean it, of course, but they refused, I think they just wanted me outta there, haha."
MacyTmcterry
Preparation & Dessert
Licking Ice Cream GIFGiphy"Still my favorite delivery. On a Saturday night, they ordered a pint of gourmet ice cream and a box of condoms."
fd1Jeff
There is so much to learn about people from their deliveries... and I am SHOOK!
@realDonaldTrump/Truth Social