Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing
CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images

On Friday, March 23, President Trump appointed former United Nations ambassador John Bolton to replace H.R. McMaster as his National Security Advisor. The news that McMaster was going to be replaced didn't come as a surprise to many—he and the President had butted heads for quite some time, and in the wake of Hope Hicks' departure as Communications Director, Trump has been much less hesitant about shaking up the personnel at the White House. What DID surprise many was the appointment of Bolton, an obscure Bush-era diplomat with a reputation for aggressive tactics and threatening behaviors. Stephen Colbert thought the issue warranted some discussion with Bolton himself (as played by Dana Carvey).


Carvey's Bolton is as hilarious as it is terrifying.

In the clip, "Bolton" swings by the show to ease Colbert's fears, but quickly makes matters much worse. He threatens to chase Stephen down a hotel hallway flinging staplers at him, and also mentioned sending some "big fat tanks" into North Korea. Meanwhile, his mustache grew ever larger because it "gets a bit engorged when it smells a war coming on."

Bolton's mustache even weighed in on the performance:

But it turns out Carvey's impression is a little too close for comfort.

Bolton was actually blocked from his original U.N. appointment by Congress, who kept him away from the position after receiving a message from over 60 retired diplomats speaking against him. Though Bolton's professional career is plenty controversial (he once said that if the U.N. headquarters "lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference"), his former colleagues major problem with him was one of character.

During his confirmation hearings, his mistreatment of underlings and embellishment of facts both became sticking points.

In 2005, TIME ran an article detailing some of Bolton's alleged incidents. Here's a particularly revealing excerpt:

Government sources tell TIME that during President Bush's first term, Bolton frequently tried to push the CIA to produce information to conform to—and confirm—his views. "Whenever his staff sent testimony, speeches over for clearance, often it was full of stuff which was not based on anything we could find," says a retired official familiar with the intelligence-clearance process. "So the notes that would go back to him were fairly extensive, saying the intelligence just didn't back up that line."

Those episodes, sources say, frequently involved statements Bolton wanted to make about the malign intentions and weapons capabilities of Cuba and North Korea. Two analysts—one at the State Department and the other at the CIA—told the committee they had run afoul of Bolton in 2002 after they warned that he was making assertions in a speech about Cuba's weapons programs that could not be backed up by U.S. intelligence. Bolton, they said, tried to have them removed from their jobs. Witnesses say that after one of the analysts, Christian Westermann, wrote an internal memo warning of Bolton's embellishments, he was summoned to Bolton's office and subjected to a finger-wagging tirade. Westermann's boss at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., told the committee in a public hearing two weeks ago that he considered Bolton "a serial abuser" of underlings and "a quintessential kiss-up, kickdown sort of guy."

​Bolton eventually bypassed Congressional approval by filling a vacancy left by his predecessor.

Well, if things get bad, at least we'll always have this photoset of Dana Carvey in progressively larger mustaches to keep our spirits high!

H/T - Huffpost, TIME, CNN

More from Entertainment/celebrities

Melania Tump at event with Israeli hostages
Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Melania Ripped After Using Event With Freed Israeli Hostages To Promote Her New Documentary

First Lady Melania Trump was criticized after she used an event at the White House with freed Israeli hostages to promote her new documentary Melania, which follows her in the 20 days leading up to President Donald Trump’s second inauguration following the 2024 presidential election.

Amazon MGM paid $40 million for the distribution rights and reportedly poured another $35 million into marketing. The film beat box office predictions to earn more than $7 million over the weekend but will need to generate much more box office to break even.

Keep Reading Show less
A woman staring out into the ocean
a woman standing on a beach looking out at the ocean
Photo by Cosiela Borta on Unsplash

People Divulge Which Things Scream 'This Person Is Insecure' Without Them Saying A Word

Be it our bodies, our clothes, our jobs, or our personalities, everyone has some insecurity.

Of course, some people's insecurities are easier to notice than others.

Keep Reading Show less
Tianna Graham stands beside her ice-encased 2016 Honda Civic on North Front Street in Philadelphia’s Fishtown neighborhood.
@tiannag444/TikTok; @NBCPhiladelphia/TikTok

Philly Woman Goes Viral With Her Totally Chill Reaction To Her Car Being Completely Frozen In Ice

While the Northeast battled winter weather, the internet was captivated by a Philly-based TikToker documenting how her car turned into what she jokingly described as a Snowmaggedon popsicle.

Last week, Tianna Graham shoveled out her 2016 Honda Civic and drove out after a snowstorm, took it to work, and parked it in the same spot she’d left it before: next to a water main. By the time she returned, her vehicle was completely encased in ice on the 1000 block of North Front Street in Philadelphia’s Fishtown neighborhood.

Keep Reading Show less
Letter from Redditor Fit_Bowl_7313
u/Fit_Bowl_7313/Reddit

Dad Sparks Heated Debate After 'Nice Note' He Left For Wife And Kids Before Work Trip Sets Her Off

When a person becomes a parent, much more will change in their life than they anticipated.

But that transition can be especially hard when a person feels like they're losing themselves to their role as a mom or dad—and that feeling is made even worse when their partner hyper-fixates on their new role.

Keep Reading Show less
Luke Granger; memorial for Renée Good
C-SPAN; Scott Olson/Getty Images

Renée Good's Brother Shares Emotional Testimony On Capitol Hill To Condemn ICE In Viral Clip

On Tuesday, House and Senate Democrats listened to testimony from United States citizens who were assaulted, injured, shot, or otherwise adversely affected by the administration of MAGA Republican President Donald Trump through Kristi Noem's Department of Homeland Security (DHS) via employees of Customs and Border Protection (CBP) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

Their Republican colleagues were invited, but none chose to attend.

Keep Reading Show less