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People Explain How They Deal With A Sexless Marriage

Two People sitting on a bench.
man and woman sitting on bench beside body of water

Reddit user -SmnSmwhr- asked "Those of us in sexless marriages, how do you feel/deal with it?"

All couples worry about the spark in their relationship going out.

Luckily for most, it doesn't take a lot for that spark to be easily re-ignited.


For others, however, that fire they once had might appear to be extinguished for good.

While there is certainly still love, an element that some might find key to maintaining a marriage is noticeably missing.

In some unfortunate cases, this key factor might only be missing from one member of the couple.

Redditor -SmnSmwhr- was curious to learn more about dynamics in these particular kinds of marriages, leading them to ask:

"Those of us in sexless marriages, how do you feel/deal with it?"

Uneven Playing Field

"Turns out only 1 of us was in a sexless marriage."

"It was not ideal."-- I_Am_Robert_Paulson1

Making The Most Of Things...

"We are both in bad health and at the end of our years."

"We both have had the best of sex and the worst of sex."

"Doing it now could kill us, so we are happy cuddling and just enjoying knowing we found that forever love."

"We still grab a** and cop a feel for giggles though."

"Haha."- Intelligent_Put_3594

People Get Married For All Sorts Of Reasons

"Remember why you got together in the first place."

'Tax evasion."- NotMacgyver

Money Talks Fire GIF by Pudgy Penguins Giphy

Happiness Is Key

"I’m in a sexless relationship, but I feel very emotionally fulfilled."

"We still hug and kiss and flirt."

"His medication makes him have low libido, and I don’t mind, as long as he has peace in his head."- Blessmee

For Now, But Hopefully Not Forever

"I always hope that his health will turn around and we will have a sex life again."

"He was so much fun in bed."

"But fortunately I both like and love him, and we persevere despite the lack of slap n tickle."- InadmissibleHug

Not Always By Choice

"I don't think people talk about menopause enough."

"My body is so f*cked up right now."

"Sex is very painful due to hormone changes, plus I have to get surgery."

"Getting on HRT after."

"Praying things change."

"My husband has been amazing, said it doesn’t matter, and that I can't control nature."

"Still feel guilty."- Additional-Row2318

Ask Yourself What Matters The Most

"I asked myself if my life was better off with her or without her."

"Once I picked, I shut up about the problem."

"If she couldn’t change, it was my problem to accept."- Silly-Resist8306

Finding Other Ways To Pass The Time...

"Let's put it this way."

"I now know why people become experts at baking bread, collecting houseplants, and scrolling through Reddit at 3 a.m."-Best_GirlFr

I Love You Penguin GIF by Pudgy Penguins Giphy

Bad Decisions Have Consequences For Others

"I drank a lot."

"I don't know if my alcoholism caused her to lose interest in me first, or if she lost interest first and my alcoholism got worse because I felt unwanted."

"Either way, I was completely stuck, unable to stop drinking because of deep abandonment wounds, and unable to address those wounds from inside a sexless marriage."

"If I could have stopped drinking, we could have healed it, but I couldn't figure out how in time."

"826 days sober."- spazoidspam

Communication...

"I thought we had a temporary setback because of the challenges of raising small kids."

"I would have done anything for her."

"She divorced me."- Bran_Solo

What Matters Most Is A Shared Love

"We are raising a special needs, medically fragile kid together."

"Literally neither of us can do it alone."

"So here we are."

"Still plenty of joy."

"Just barely any sex."

"Been this way for several years now."- Login8

Doing What You Can With What You Have...

"Neither of us is in the best of health, and since our son came along, it's been 11 years since we last had sex."

"She's the love of my life, though, and my best friend, so we can cope with anything life throws at us." - dbe14

Dream, When At A Loss...

"It’s very difficult."

"Although I didn’t marry my husband based on sex, and it’s something that fades with age anyway, it leaves you feeling abandoned and starved."

"I’ve definitely accepted it for what it is and grieved that loss."

"But it’s been years since we had sex, if I’ve had any type of physical affection, and it’s very lonely."

"He completely shuts down when I try to talk to him about it, and it definitely feels like emotional abandonment."

"That being said, I have myself and fantasie,s so I guess that’ll have to do with."- MyYakuzaTA

There Is ALWAYS Light At The End Of The Tunnel

"Had a TFMR (termination for medical reasons) earlier this year after finding out that our baby girl had several conditions that made her 'incompatible with life'."

"I had a lot of physical recovery after multiple procedures, and I couldn't be less interested in sex right now if I tried."

"We're also still waiting for test results to confirm if there's something genetically wrong with us that would make something similar happen in the future."

"I'm not sure my heart could cope with that again."

"But we're in this sh*tshow nightmare together and I know we'll be back in the sack sometime soon."- googoogirl26

The Little Things In Life...

"Honestly it doesn't bother me."

"I have to do a solo every once in a while, but I'm sure happy with everything else, so it doesn't really matter to me."- Sherlock_House

Some relationships are built on passion and simply can't survive without sex.

A relationship built on love, however, can survive almost anything thrown at it.

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