Secrets, we all have them. Some will be spilled over time and some will go to the grave.
Mine are going to the grave. Just in case you were waiting for a truth sharing moment, there it is.
Others often feel the need to shed their secrets. Secrets can weigh on you.
So every once in awhile people start letting loose, because it's the only way to free yourself.
That's why you get a therapist, to share the most shocking, intimate details of your life. To spill and be free.
Or... naturally, you come to Reddit.
RedditorGeneral-Pea2016wanted see who would be willing to spill some tea about life, they asked:
"What have you never told anyone?"
I am a keeper of secrets. Not a spiller. Unless of course a there is a jug of top shelf cosmos around. Then we may have trouble.
“wedding”
Episode 12 Wedding GIF by FriendsGiphy"No one, and I mean absolutely no one (aside from my wife) who attended my “wedding” knew that it was actually our one year anniversary party." ~ Reddit
lucky streak
"I had this lucky streak as a kid...s mall stuff usually, like free 20oz on a soda cap. My mom and I didn't have a great relationship (not bad, just distant because my sister died) but she was always super excited about it. So when it hadn't happened for a while, I started creating situations to keep her attention." ~ SyninHex
Bye Pop
"I grew up raised by my grandfather, when I was 21 he had a stroke. I called 911 and practically drove behind the ambulance the entire way to the hospital I ended up stayed with him there for 2 days while his kids flew from across the country to see him. I remember him laying there as I held his hand, he kept saying my name over and over again, and he just passed like that sometime in the night, I never told my uncles or aunts exactly what happened, it was just to surreal for me." ~ Echob0_
Lost
"That I'm very lost in life and don't know what to do, like in a point of where I have free time I don't do anything productive just lay in my bed for hours. Sometimes at night thinking whether I'm going down the right path, or am I doing things right, or just thinking about how my closest friends n family will react if I just end it one day. But that won't happen since I'm too afraid to do it." ~ Error_Code505
Steve
yacht rock GIFGiphy"I like the song 'Oh Sherrie' by Steve Perry un-ironically, and when I watched the music video for the first time in years a few years ago, I cried. I don't know why, maybe it was the nostalgia (I was a kid in the 80s)." ~ napalmnacey
Such scandal. And such innocence. I was waiting for tragedy and mayhem. Let's see...
Diagnosis
Teddy Bear Hug GIFGiphy"That I’m pretty sure I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and as I get older (especially this past year) I see signs that I may be incapable of being happy." ~ Giveushealthcare
Stashed
"Back in high school, my friends and I had a secret alcohol stash in the woods. They pissed me off one day, so I took the stuff I wanted to drink for myself. They later discovered the best stuff was gone and they never suspected it was me. They thought a parent or sibling had found out and almost gave away their own secret trying to find who did it. It was entertaining for sure for me." ~ TeenageDream1234
Thanks for listening...
"I never got over the trauma of a bad relationship 17 years ago. It has negatively impacted every aspect of my life and although I’ve seemingly bounced back a very long time ago. Anyone that knows me would be shocked at the level of despair and depression I’ve been in for years."
"No one would ever know everything looks good on the outside. At this point I can barely remember much about the guy — yet I feel like he defines my entire adult life. I’m stuck on the loss of what could’ve been. It has nothing to do even do with him at this point, it’s more of what he represented. Time I will never get back, mistakes I’ve made."
"I beat myself up over the time I lost, the opportunities I missed and for not being able to just pick myself up and fully move on. It’s very painful to face wasted time and yet to continue not to live in the moment. And the years decades of hiding and pretending like all is well is maddening. The pandemic has made me face this head on and it hasn’t been pretty being alone with my thoughts. Thanks for listening." ~ Due-Time-8151
Crushed
"That I had the biggest crush on my best friend back during high school and about a year after or so. I’m pretty sure she’s connected the dots ever since I told her and my close group of friends that I’m bi, but we’ve never discussed it and I hope we never do. It’d just be kinda awkward and there’s no point doing so." ~ good-ol-beat
Stay
GIF by Leroy PattersonGiphy"If my ex husband had only said once 'I love you and I don’t want to break up, let’s work on it,' I would have stayed married." ~ landofmold
Something is Wrong
"I feel almost nothing any more. Me and my GF were in the room when her mom passed a few years ago, I've known the woman my whole life, me and my GF have been friends since we were 5 and dating for the last 11 now and I felt nothing as my girlfriend cried her soul out into my shoulder."
"My mother is a 2 time cancer survivor who just had a new tumor removed and waiting on tests and scans to find out what next, I feel nothing. My grandmother who I was super close too, often sending holidays like Xmas with her instead of my parents, died last year, I felt nothing. My cousin with terminal cancer was euthanized on Friday, I felt nothing."
"As a farmer I've put down many animals that were pets, I have goats and chickens that are super friendly, I could never eat them, so they remain as pets on the farm. Every time I've had to put down a chicken with a hatchet or a few years ago had to shoot a goat with a mangled leg, I felt nothing. I'm actually concerned there's something wrong with me at this point, nothing gains an emotional response from me." ~ Amidamaru717
Obstructions
"I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for years. I fall asleep fine and sleep through the night, but never feel rested. Went to the doctor and did a sleep study. Turns out I have sleep apnea. My whole family knows this. So the most common sleep apnea (80-85% of people have this) is called 'obstructive sleep apnea' and it’s generally caused by being overweight."
"Basically your throat relaxes and collapses, restricting your airway. It’s easily fixed by getting a CPAP machine, which constantly forces air down your throat. What my family doesn’t know is that I have rarer version called “central sleep apnea” basically, my brain is just straight quitting and not sending any neurological signals to my body to breathe when I sleep."
"It’s most common in people ages 65+. In fact, it’s estimated that only 0.9% of Americans in their 40s have central. I’m 30, so it’s basically unheard of for me to have it without some serious underlying condition. I have a bevy of tests, from CT scans to pulmonologists to heart doctors, lined up over the next couple of months to see what the hell is going on."
"I haven’t told anyone I know that it could be something serious. I’m usually the stable one that everyone leans on, so I’m trying to to make anyone worry until I know for sure what’s up. But frankly, I’m a little terrified because I have no idea what’s going on with me and no real person I can confide in without everyone else in the world knowing." ~ mooseknuckle09
The Strangest 'Wrong Number' Stories | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Before we all had caller ID, wrong numbers phone calls were commonplace. But now that almost everyone screens their calls, it's wrong number texts that have ...Good Dog
"This is going to be kind of dark. I got a puppy when I was about 13 years old to accompany my much older dog. She of course was very rambunctious and misbehaved a lot. I was responsible for watching her everyday and she was so naughty I had to keep her on a leash inside the house."
"Often I would be so fed up with her misbehaving that I would scream at her, shove her, and terrorize her. I remember how she looked at me one time, eyes big and shaking. It hit me at that moment that this was animal who did not understand why she was being treated this way."
"I literally slumped to the ground and cried while I held her. She's not a puppy anymore but everytime I look at her I feel so awful for how I used to be towards her. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life. She follows me everywhere and loves to sleep in my room/be next to me all the time."
"She's always so happy to see me when I get home and she does this thing where she jumps up and holds her paws on my arms to get closer to my face. She has never once growled at or bitten anyone. I don't deserve to be loved by this dog. Please, be kind to your pets, they don't know any better." ~ Terrible_Sense_8679
Job Hopper
"That I job hop cause I'm chronically depressed and get fired for not getting out of bed for days at a time. Everyone thinks I'm just lazy and want to have fun instead of work." ~ monofloyed
"I’m in the same boat as you. I haven’t been to work in almost two months and I have no idea why I still have a job. I plan to go to work starting tomorrow, but I’ve told myself this a dozen times over the past two months. It really sucks not being able to function on a normal level." ~ cerpintaxt33
SUDEP...
"I've had about a dozen 10-20 minute long seizures over the past three years, The long ones like that tend to affect my breathing and during one while I was visiting a friend in Denver I'm pretty sure I was without oxygen for a few minutes. As a result, I'm terrified of SUDEP." ~ seanbennick
Perceptions
"My perception of a social network. In 1st and 4th grade, I moved schools which wasn't such a big deal until I realized how big they were. (At the time I was usually used to only 23 students in a class and thought there was only a few classes.) I came up with a plan to befriend or at least give a positive impact on those around me to avoid being a negative figure to my peers, to my uttermost surprise, it worked, somehow."
"Now, in my freshman year of high school, I still treat people this way, just to a bare minimum, due to the amount of students. I try to be nice as much as possible in-order to actually avoid the negative sides of people, regardless of who they are. (To a limit of course)." ~ Myth3al
paranoia...
"My body has this tendency to stop breathing. Just, like, not breath. I'm always aware it's happening, and it never goes on for more than like a minute or two. My paranoia does it. But it's scary sometimes to just, not breath, for no reason. Like, just sitting doing homework and all of the sudden my lungs don't work and I sit there, zoning out without breathing until I snap out of it and consciously restart my lungs. Don't know why it happens and too scared of the consequences to talk about it with professionals. It doesn't hurt me, it's just weird." ~ TheBestElz
Prayers
jesus GIFGiphy"I’ve never told anyone that I don’t believe in God. I appreciate the spiritual beliefs others have and I don’t want my atheistic views to diminish theirs." ~ OctopusUniverse
“healthiness”
"I hate doctors and medical tests, but I’ve been dependent on them since I was 5, and I hate having to be so dependent. At most I get a few years of 'healthiness' before a mysterious condition develops or an old problem resurfaces. I have to have a buddy every time I take a blood test because is start to pass out, but I usually have to get several blood tests a year. My fear has gotten more under control with therapy, but even calling to make an appointment is unnerving for me." ~ Binn_of_Mimikyus
Don't harbor shame. Shame is not a secret to hold. If you need help don't be afraid to ask. You're not alone. And tell the truth about love.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/