The Biggest Mistakes People Make In Relationships

Not Apologizing

"Not being able to apologize. If someone tells you they're upset with you, you don't need to argue back."

- TheGame1126

Being Defensive

"Not being able to hear your partner expressing their own needs or constructive critiques without getting defensive."

"You should be able to hear your partner out with concern and curiosity, and THEN address your own feelings that happened as a result of their words. If you can’t have a difficult conversation without being overwhelmed by your own insecurities, you’re not ready to be in a relationship."

- greengiant1101

Too Many Compromises

"Compromising when they started the relationship, and then regret sets in and destroys the relationship."

- Damseldoll

(Not) Winning Arguments

"Trying to 'win' arguments. The goal should be to solve disagreements as a team, not come out as the victor."

- DoublePelix

Not Dating Their Best Friend

"Your partner not being your friend, too."

- Wonderful-Note9289

"Back when we were dating, my wife once told me that I was her boyfriend, but also her friend. I found that odd. Then she pointed out that her ex never had had the potential to be her friend. They just didn't match."

"Since then, I realized how important this is."

- Lvcivs2311

Lack of Communication or Acceptance

"So many people jump straight to 'lack of communication,' but more often than not the problem is refusing to accept what your partner is communicating."

"Communication skills can always be better, but a lack of understanding or willingness to compromise around the difference in each other's needs leads to resentment really quickly. Once you resent each other, it's game over, there's no real way to come back from that."

- alk6489

Taking Others for Granted

"Taking the other person’s love, time, empathy, or patience for granted."

- thebuffyb0t

"Or holding onto a relationship that isn't making you happy out of some hope that the other person will stop taking those things for granted."

"Both are non-starters."

- sophistre

Different Values

"I would rephrase this as 'people are their values and what they value.'"

"If you want a big family and they want to be child-free, you’re not compatible."

"If you are a homebody and they have wanderlust, one of you is going to be miserable."

"If they are fixated on their career and external signs of success and you are more interested in experiences and togetherness, you’re both going to resent each other."

"If you have significantly different political outlooks, it’s going to poison how you see each other over time."

"The first person to say yes to you may not be the right person for you long term. You need to talk about your values and life goals, and if they don’t align, don’t sit there hoping the other person will compromise who they are for you, or expect yourself to compromise who you are for them."

"Respect each other enough to recognize you aren’t the right life partner and move on."

- Fraerie

Getting Married First

"Waiting until you’re too far in to discuss marriage and kids. That’s an issue that needs to be hammered in before you completely shut yourself off from anyone else."

- DefinitelyNotADave

"Tons of people have those tough discussions way too late. Kids, in-law interactions and responsibilities, finances, living situations, household chores, medical issues, and future plans ALL should be discussed before getting married."

"If you don't have an answer for that now, you're going to have to find an answer soon enough. All of these things WILL be faced throughout your lifetime together. It's better to find out if you're completely incompatible before signing that paper. Or at least you've got a plan of how to face things together."

- buyongmafanle

Helping Around At Home

"My girl has been on vacation for about two weeks and f**k, I hate cooking, man!"

"I should help her prep some of the food. It's just more time-consuming than anything else. But yeah, when she gets back, I'll start helping her more. I eat a s**t ton, so yeah."

- Deads4dayz

"Start now, impress her with your effort when she gets back, and tell her you realized how much time she was putting in. Can't go wrong."

- orionicly

"Learn some knife skills on youtube, it can cut your prep time by 50% easily. I've seen people spend ten minutes on a single onion, smh (shaking my head)."

- DaoNight23

"And clean as you cook! Something is simmering on the stove and you can step away for five minutes? Don’t kill time on the couch, clean your workstation! Then when it’s time to serve, you have only a minimal amount of cleanup left to do."

- Youareaharrywizard

"CAYG or Clean As You Go is taught in professional kitchens everywhere for a reason, it’s a proven strategy to keep things clean."

"That and 'if you have time to lean, you have time to clean,' but that one is less popular."

- its_justme

Getting Too Comfortable

"I think it's a combination of getting so comfortable with somebody that you take things for granted, stop doing the little things, and stop communicating."

- Rathemon

"Been feeling this recently. My girlfriend and I moved in together nearly two years ago, and our relationship improved so much when we did, but it has led to me taking things for granted."

"I'm traveling at the moment, and I haven't seen her in nearly a month, and I'm really missing just existing together. Even something as simple as sleeping next to each other, I miss it like crazy, but it's not something I think of as much when we're both at home."

- V0lkhari

Committing 100/100

"Thinking that it's one person's work. A successful relationship needs commitment and work from both parties."

- Mapache_villa

"I find that as the woman, I’m usually carrying the emotional load and it’s f**king exhausting. Talking about feelings, initiating tough conversations, etc. I won’t do it anymore."

- pattimay_ho_nnaise

Having Children to Love

"Believing that having a child will fix their problems."

"Great job, now the THREE of you are in a sucky situation and now are forever tied through a choice you both made instead of just working it out OR separating, both options that would've been a lot less messy and complicated, not to mention that the kid is now stuck between something that's not their responsibility to fix and now they're suffering through it."

"'Compromising' on big life decisions, it never ends well."

- ThanosWifeAkima-4848

Knowing When to Say Goodbye

"Not leaving or ending a relationship when it needs to be ended. Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away."

- toosickto

That About Sums It Up

"Not 'dating' their partner after getting married and having kids."

"Not communicating."

"Not being on the same page when it comes to finances, household responsibilities, and boundaries with external family."

"Simply not prioritizing their partner."

- vtfb79

These responses came from people who clearly regretted decisions they'd made in relationships or been on the receiving end, neither of which likely felt very pleasant.