Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Share Their Absolute Favorite Euphemisms For A Dumb Person

We're all not geniuses.

Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.

And that is ok.

Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.

"Bless your heart."

That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."


Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.

They asked:

"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"

"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."

Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.

And... he was right.

Cents

"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."

hopefulsite126

tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphy

The Cells

"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."

Striking_Yoghurt_690

"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."

TxPunsterer

Bad Wheel

"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."

ofsquire

"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"

cardew-vascular

"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Mulberry0

YOU

"You're the reason we have warning labels."

ofsquire

"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”

Smoopiebear

"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."

WantToBeBetterAtSex

Hello?

“The lights are on but no one’s home.”

Lovemesomecarrots

season 1 s1 GIF by Dream Corp LLCGiphy

Ok... some of this is some good comedy.

Or Puppet...

"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."

JonSnow31391

The Muppet Show Muppets GIFGiphy

Vanilla?

"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."

Pokeybumfun

"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."

ElegantEagle13

"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"

00192737292

I Like Turkey

"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."

accomplished_loaf

"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"

thefuzzybunny1

"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."

thxitsthedepression

No Top Floor

"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."

ferox965

"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."

"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"

one_angry_custodian

Space

"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."

Blobfish_Blues

Excited Aww GIF by TikTokGiphy

Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Cami Clune sings O Canada as Buffalo Sabres fans join in after her microphone cuts out at KeyBank Center.
@mark_slapinski/X

New York Hockey Fans Step Up As Singer's Mic Goes Out During 'O Canada'—And Everyone Had The Same Thought

It only took a few seconds of silence for thousands of hockey fans to realize what was happening, and without hesitation, they stepped in. Fans at KeyBank Center took over during the singing of O Canada before Game 5 of the Eastern Conference First Round on Tuesday after anthem singer Cami Clune’s microphone cut out.

Once the crowd caught on, they didn’t miss a beat, singing in sync while filling in the lyrics together in a moment that quickly grew into something bigger than the game itself. So, what could have been an awkward pause turned into a full-arena singalong, with voices rising in sync across the building.

Keep ReadingShow less
Shannon Elizabeth
Christopher Polk/Variety/Getty Images

'American Pie' Star Shannon Elizabeth Reveals Staggering Amount She's Made In Her First Week Since Joining OnlyFans

Rumors have been circulating that American Pie and Scary Movie star Shannon Elizabeth started an OnlyFans account and that she's been making bank while doing it.

Early reports claimed that Elizabeth started the account on April 16, 2026, and that she brought in "more than seven figures" in the first week on the platform alone.

Keep ReadingShow less
Jamie Ding
Sony Pictures Television

'Jeopardy!' Champ Speaks Out To Rip ICE After His Impressive 31-Game Winning Streak Comes To An End

Jeopardy! champ Jamie Ding has had quite an impressive winning streak on the show, but it's his statements about current events that may have the greatest impact.

Ding had an extraordinary 31-day winning streak, the fifth-longest in the show's history.

Keep ReadingShow less
Mike Johnson
Newsmax

Mike Johnson Just Gave A Mind-Numbing Reason Why Voters Should Keep Republicans 'In Charge'—And The Delusion Is Real

During a Monday appearance on Newsmax, GOP House Speaker Mike Johnson of Louisiana told host Greta Van Susteren why voters need to keep Republicans in power, but the self-proclaimed Christian nationalist's reasoning went over like a lead balloon.

The discussion on Newsmax's The Record with Greta Van Susteren turned to the continuing partial government shutdown that began February 14, 2026—now the longest in history, surpassing 68 days.

Keep ReadingShow less
Sam Neill
Fiona Goodall/Getty Images

Sam Neill Shares Hopeful Update After Five-Year Battle With Blood Cancer—And Fans Are Thrilled

It's time to rejoice: everyone's favorite on-screen paleontologist and velociraptor expert, Sam Neill, is officially cancer-free.

The Jurassic Park actor was diagnosed with blood cancer five years ago, and he admitted to believing that he was "on his way out" when his immune system stopped responding to chemotherapy.

Keep ReadingShow less