Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Share Their Absolute Favorite Euphemisms For A Dumb Person

We're all not geniuses.

Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.

And that is ok.

Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.

"Bless your heart."

That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."


RedditorMrMadJokerwanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.

They asked:

"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"

"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."

Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.

And... he was right.

Cents

"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."

hopefulsite126

tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphy

The Cells

"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."

Striking_Yoghurt_690

"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."

TxPunsterer

Bad Wheel

"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."

ofsquire

"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"

cardew-vascular

"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Mulberry0

YOU

"You're the reason we have warning labels."

ofsquire

"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”

Smoopiebear

"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."

WantToBeBetterAtSex

Hello?

“The lights are on but no one’s home.”

Lovemesomecarrots

season 1 s1 GIF by Dream Corp LLCGiphy

Ok... some of this is some good comedy.

Or Puppet...

"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."

JonSnow31391

The Muppet Show Muppets GIFGiphy

Vanilla?

"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."

Pokeybumfun

"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."

ElegantEagle13

"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"

00192737292

I Like Turkey

"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."

accomplished_loaf

"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"

thefuzzybunny1

"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."

thxitsthedepression

No Top Floor

"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."

ferox965

"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."

"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"

one_angry_custodian

Space

"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."

Blobfish_Blues

Excited Aww GIF by TikTokGiphy

Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

John Mannion; Mike Lawler
Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images; Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

Dem Rep. Unloads On GOP Colleague In NSFW Rant On House Floor Over Padilla Incident

New York Democratic Representative John Mannion criticized his Republican colleague Mike Lawler, telling him to "get some f**king balls" during a blowup confrontation on the House floor after California Democratic Senator Alex Padilla was forcibly removed from Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's press conference and handcuffed.

Padilla said he had "questions for the secretary" at Noem's press conference addressing President Donald Trump's deployment of members of the National Guard, and later the Marines, to stop protests in Los Angeles against the Trump administration's immigration raids.

Keep ReadingShow less
Cole Escola; Nicole Scherzinger
Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Tony Awards Productions; Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Tony Awards Productions

Cole Escola Shuts Down Speculation Around Their Joke About Nicole Scherzinger's Tony Win

Actor Cole Escola has spoken out about the controversy that was sparked when they made a silly, innocent political joke at the Tonys on Sunday.

Escola, the genius behind the Broadway hit Oh, Mary!, made history Sunday when they became the first nonbinary actor to win the award for Leading Actor in a Play.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Alex Padilla getting arrested by officers and Padilla during MSNBC interview
@CalltoActivism/X; MSNBC

Dem Senator Speaks Out After He Was Thrown To Ground And Handcuffed For Questioning Kristi Noem At LA Press Conference

California Democratic Senator Alex Padilla spoke out after disturbing footage showed him getting dragged out of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's press conference in Los Angeles yesterday for trying to ask a question—only for law enforcement to shove him to the ground and handcuff him.

Padilla introduced himself and merely said he had "questions for the secretary" at Noem's press conference addressing President Donald Trump's deployment of members of the National Guard, and later the Marines, in response to protests in Los Angeles against the Trump administration's immigration raids.

Keep ReadingShow less
Carnie Wilson and Brian Wilson
KMazur/WireImage for The Recording Academy/Getty Images

Carnie Wilson Shares Heartbreaking Tribute To Dad Brian Wilson After His Death At 82

Beach Boys founding member Brian Wilson died on Wednesday at the age of 82. Tributes from friends, fellow musicians, and fans referred to him as a musical genius for his songwriting, musical composition style and innovative recording techniques.

He's also patriarch to a musical dynasty, with his daughters, Carnie and Wendy, and granddaughter, Lola, following in his footsteps. Carnie and Wendy Wilson formed Wilson Phillips with their childhood friend Chynna Phillips—whose own parents are Michelle and John Phillips of '60s super group The Mamas And The Papas.

Keep ReadingShow less
JD Vance
Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

Vance Tried To Make A Joke About Seeing 'Les Misérables' At The Kennedy Center—And It's Peak Cringe

Vice President JD Vance had people groaning after he made a bad joke about the production of Les Misérables he and his wife, Second Lady Usha Vance, attended at the Kennedy Center with President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump.

The musical, set in 19th century France, tells the story of Jean Valjean, an ex-convict who is released from prison for stealing a loaf of bread. The story touches on timeless themes such as justice and mercy—and also happens to be about people resisting an authoritarian takeover, which many find ironic given the Trump administration's response to protests in Los Angeles.

Keep ReadingShow less